Desha's Reno of the Turks Fan Fiction

Chapter 80: Mourning

The rain seemed entirely too appropriate. It certainly matched Reno’s mood that morning, at any rate, and if he’d had to venture a guess, he’d have said that the others were of much the same mindset.

Luca hadn’t had a large family to mourn his passing… but those few relatives he did have all turned up for the funeral. Even his elderly grandfather, whom the redhead had briefly met during their mission to Icicle Inn, had come… though the rookie hadn’t spoken to him much beyond expressing his condolences. It was more than clear that the old man was heartbroken over his grandson’s death.

He’d met Luca’s elder sister as well… and her two children… though it was a very short meeting. She was quite blatantly cold towards all of the Turks, but particularly Veld, and had pointedly herded her kids away from them at the first opportunity, steering them towards some people that the rookie understood to be Luca’s aunt and cousins. Reno, for one, didn’t hold it against her. He’d have probably been angry, too, in her position. She’d just lost a brother. Her two little boys had just lost an uncle. Shay had mentioned in passing that the woman had never been overly fond of her brother’s choice of profession. And in the end, his profession was what had gotten him killed.

Yeah… he’d have been pissed, too.

He’d barely heard two words of the graveside service, too lost in his own thoughts to really pay more than the bare minimum amount of attention. Aaron’s death had certainly been painful, but it hadn’t hit him quite this hard. It had happened so soon after he’d been recruited, and Aaron had spent so much time outside of Midgar during that period, that really, he hadn’t had time to develop much of a relationship with the late Turk… something he still regretted.

But Luca… he’d really gotten to know Luca. The man had become a fixture in his life, and there was now a gaping hole where he’d once been. Even now, four days later, a part of him still expected to see him walking into the morning briefing everyday, and was crushed when reality set in and he realized that he wouldn’t be.

And he knew he wasn’t the only one who felt that way… which made the loss just a tiny bit more bearable.

Cissnei, in particular, had been quiet and withdrawn since her release from the hospital, and the redhead got the impression that it had a lot to do with the fact that Luca had died saving her life. That had to be one hell of a burden to bear, knowing that you were only alive because someone else had sacrificed themselves for you.

Rodney, too, was unusually subdued… and Reno had been a little surprised to realize that the reason for it was, apparently, his concern for Cissnei. At first, he’d thought he was just imagining things. But no… the obnoxiously cocky rookie seemed genuinely empathetic in this instance, and had been hovering protectively near the other rookie for days now.

Rude, meanwhile, had expressed his feelings by beating the ever-living crap out of at least two heavy bags in the training hall. He seemed a bit better afterwards.

And then there was Tseng. Reno had half-expected a repeat of the day Mayu had died… to the point that he’d almost immediately regretted contacting him in the aftermath of the attacks. He’d been so wrapped up in himself that he hadn’t taken the time to consider how it might affect his mentor… especially having it sprung on him without any warning like that. He still couldn’t get a good read on the man. He was deeply affected, Reno was certain, but it wasn’t the all-consuming sorrow he’d seen following Mayu’s death.

He’d taken the news surprisingly well, in fact… or at least as far as Reno had been able to tell over the phone. It was a little hard to be sure when all he’d had to go on had been the Turk lieutenant’s voice. Tseng had taken great care to ensure that his rookie was faring alright, and comfort him as best he could given the physical distance between them at the time. And it wasn’t that Reno wasn’t grateful for that… but he still worried that his mentor’s apparent calm in the face of this new tragedy was largely an act put on for his benefit.

The conversation had left him… conflicted. He was torn between his devastation over the loss of a good friend, and his nagging suspicion that Tseng wasn’t really as calm and collected as he seemed. Trapped between mourning one loss, and worrying that said loss might undo the stability Tseng seemed to have regained since his return from Wutai. The missing members of the team had only come back from Junon yesterday… and Reno had been watching him closely every chance he got.

But if he was in danger of slipping back into that deep despair, Tseng was doing a damned good job of hiding it this time around.

“Reno?”

Rude’s voice startled him out of his thoughts and the redhead realized that he’d been staring blankly at the casket in front of them for quite some time now. The service had concluded, and the gathering was slowly breaking up… including his friend who’d started to move off, carrying the umbrella he’d been sharing with his fellow rookie, only to realize after a few steps that the younger teen wasn’t following him. Reno hurried back under the meager shelter, ignoring the rainwater now dripping down his face. Rude’s arm wrapped around his shoulders as he lead him towards the cemetery gates, back to where their various vehicles were parked.

“You alright?” he asked as they walked, trailing the rest of the group.

“Fuck no, I’m not alright,” Reno replied, annoyed, “No one’s fuckin’ ‘alright’ right now.”

“…”

“Sorry…” the redhead amended, somewhat sheepishly. It wasn’t fair to take his shitty mood out on his friend.

“Don’t be. That was stupid thing to ask.”

“You hear anything about the son of a bitch who did it yet?” the redhead asked. The person who’d blown up Luca’s car – and subsequently Luca himself – had vanished in the confusion. A security camera had caught a glimpse of them, but the image wasn’t the greatest. Still… Tres and Rude were using every resource at their disposal to attempt to track them down. Thus far, they hadn’t had much success, and Reno had tried his best to refrain from asking for details… even though he was anxious to see the fucker caught… because he knew that they were getting that same question from everyone else on the team, too.

Rude shook his head miserably.

“The guy’s just vanished. All of them have. We can’t find a trace of any Wutaiian agents anywhere in Midgar all of a sudden. Tres doesn’t know if they’ve pulled out of the city, or if they’ve gone so deep underground we just can’t find them. And he’s pissed about it, too.”

“Bastards…” the redhead muttered. Fucking cowards is what they were. Blast a guy with a goddamn rocket launcher, and then slink back into the shadows.

“You coming over to Veld’s place or do you want me to drop you off at home?” Rude asked as they neared the gates. The Turk leader had invited everyone to his home following the funeral… A chance to finally commiserate with their fellow Turks. The remainder of the work week had been such a flurry of activity for all of them that no one had really had the opportunity to do so yet.

“… Yeah. I’m comin’. Tch… All I’d end up doin’ at home is sittin’ around feelin’ like shit anyway. ‘Least at Veld’s I won’t be the only one.”

Rude nodded in agreement, and the pair headed for his truck in silence.

---

Tseng quietly entered his apartment, fingers automatically loosening his tie as he dropped into his armchair. Keeping it together at the funeral had been… difficult, to say the least. He’d thought he’d be alright, initially, but when the time had come to actually leave for the service, he’d very nearly reconsidered going at all. In the end, though… Luca was his family, and he couldn’t be absent for this. He knew he’d ultimately regret it.

But there was no way he’d make it through Veld’s little gathering afterwards. He didn’t even bother to try, opting instead to bow out as gracefully as possible and head home.

None of this was his fault. Logically, he knew that. Luca had been following orders and had simply wound up in the wrong place at the wrong time. He’d been forced into an impossible choice between himself and Cissnei, and he’d chosen Cissnei. It was a truly noble sacrifice and Tseng would have expected no less from the amiable young man.

And yet, guilt still nagged at the Turk lieutenant. If he hadn’t been wasting his time in Junon – which, he was forced to admit, he had been… the traitor had been located, but it was because of Viridia and her forces, not the Turks – would Luca have even been sent to that particular reactor? Or if, instead, Tseng had been there in Cissnei’s place, would Luca still be dead? They were questions he knew had no answer… but that didn’t change the fact that he’d lost yet another member of his family. Nor did it make him wonder any less whether or not it could have been prevented if only he’d been there.

‘If only’ seemed to be becoming something of a regular thing for him. If only he’d been in Midgar instead of Junon. If only he’d disobeyed Veld and warned his sister to stay away from Sector 3. If only he hadn’t suggested that Leviathan-be-damned attack in the first place. Luca might still be alive. His sister might still be alive. His family might not hate him. The countless people in Wutai falling to Shinra forces might still be alive, too, given that his idea to preemptively attack the train station had been the trigger for this war.

And that was yet another concern for him. He knew that at least some of his brothers, and likely various cousins and other relatives, were fighting in said war. He knew that his father was openly supporting Lord Godo against Shinra. And he knew that the odds were high that one or more of them might also end up dead before this was all over.

And that would be his fault, too. His father may have despised him… and other relatives likely shared that sentiment… but he still loved them very much.

He’d been a fool to think that merely getting back to work would be enough to make him forget what he’d done. What he’d lost. Arrogant to think he could move past it so easily. And it was also his own arrogance that had brought it about. It seemed it was going to cost him even more, the longer this went on.

His thoughts immediately turned to Reno. If something happened to him, Tseng would undeniably be to blame, no matter what the circumstances. He’d recruited him to begin with and he was personally responsible for whatever happened to that boy as a result. At the time, such considerations hadn’t concerned him in the least… and he felt slightly sick now when he realized just how little the redhead’s life had actually meant to him when he’d first brought him on board. The deep bond he’d developed with his rookie didn’t change the fact that, for short while at least, he’d been little more than a means to an end. A way to prove himself to his mentor. Now, though…

Reno was, perhaps, the most important thing he had left now. The thought of any harm befalling him left him cold and terrified. It would be as bad, or possibly even worse, than losing Mayu. It would destroy him so completely there would be no coming back from it.

And they were in the middle of a goddamned war. One that his rookie was expected to be directly involved in.

---

Reno leaned back into the couch cushions, a beer in hand, watching as Esme busied herself with seeing to the needs of her husband’s Turks. The woman seemed to be on a personal mission to ensure that each one of them was comfortable and made to feel welcome. He was pretty sure Felicia was around somewhere as well… but the girl had yet to show herself.

He could guess why. It was a weird feeling knowing that someone had died. You didn’t know quite what to say or how to act. You weren’t sure if venting your frustration and sadness to others would garner sympathy or just make everyone look at you like you were being an overly dramatic idiot. And you walked on eggshells, worried that something you might say might make this harder than it already was for someone else.

At least… that’s how he felt.

The cushion to his right dipped slightly as Saya took a seat next to the rookie and she gently pulled him into a warm embrace.

“Poor thing… Yeh look as though yeh don’t quite know what ta do with yerself,” she said, fingers toying with his hair. She pulled back a moment later, just enough to look him in the face, and smiled slightly. “We all miss him. Nothin’ ta be ashamed of.”

Reno sighed softly and looked up at her. “Saya?” he asked, “Does it ever get easier? Losin’ someone like this?”

“‘Fraid not, love,” she replied, shaking her head. “And I wish I could tell yeh that it’s a rarity. But I can’t. Fact is, there aren’t many Turks who’ll live long enough ta retire. Luca knew that. We come in ta work everyday knowin’ we might not make it home.”

The redhead snorted softly and folded his arms over his chest. “Tch… so what’s the point of bein’ a ‘family’ if we’re all just gonna die anyway,” he muttered. Saya ran a hand through his hair, gently fondling the ponytail at the base of his skull and chuckled quietly.

“As my cousin likes ta say… we’re all dying. Some o’ us’ll just end up in the ground sooner’n the rest,” she replied, “Sweetie, no one… Turk or otherwise… knows when the end might come. Yeh can either live yer life alone so yeh never get hurt, or yeh can let others in, and be happy in whatever time yeh have with ’em. Up ta yeh… but I know which one I prefer. I’d rather have known Luca ‘n lost him than ta never have known him at all.”

“… Yeah.”

She was right. Luca was an awesome guy, and Reno was glad to have been able to call him a friend. And… he knew what it was like to be alone. Being alone sucked. It sucked even more than this.

“Dear Odin, yeh two are depressin’,” Sato groused, as he made his way over to them, drink in one hand. With his free hand, he ruffled the rookie’s hair and grinned. “Come on… Luca wouldn’t’ve wanted us cryin’ over him. He’d want us to celebrate his life. Not mourn his death.”

He raised his bottle and turned to the others in the room.

“Ta Luca!” he proclaimed, “Bloody amazin’ friend, ‘n one helluva Turk.”

Several of the others likewise raised their various drinks and murmured in agreement, and Sato shook his head in mock disgust.

“Oh, fer… That was fuckin’ pathetic. Come on, yeh bastards… pull a little feelin’ inta it!”

A chorus of “To Luca!” went up around the room, followed by a ripple of laughter as some of the tension in the room began to ease. Sato rolled his eyes and took a seat on the opposite side of the rookie.

“Hmph… I’m just gonna put this out there right now. Fer my funeral, I don’t wanna see any ‘o yeh sobbin’ or sulkin’. I want a goddamned party… with booze ‘n strippers… ‘n fireworks. If somethin’ don’t blow up by the end of it, I’ll come back ‘n haunt every last one o’ yeh.”

“I am not hirin’ strippers fer a funeral,” Saya groaned, “Not even yers.”

---

Despite the eventual levity of the post-funeral get together, when Monday came, a morose fog had settled over the office. Luca’s absence seemed to be felt by everyone, and they all tried to avoid mentioning it. Following his morning training, Reno made his way into the lounge for a quick refill on his coffee… only to find Sato seated at the table, a plethora of electronic components spread out in front of him.

“What’s all that?” the rookie asked, curious. The senior Turk glanced up at him and smirked.

“The bomb I pulled outta that power junction over in Eight last week. What’s left o’ her, anyway.”

“… Uhh… is that… ya know… safe?” he asked, a hesitant note in his voice. It was common knowledge that the man liked to play around with explosives in the office… but typically, they were small charges, that wouldn’t do too much damage if they accidentally went off. This thing was meant to take out part of a city block, for Ifrit’s sake!

“Nothin’ ta worry ’bout. She’s sleepin’ sound. Couldn’t go off even if she wanted ta.”

He had his doubts on that. After all, Sato had likewise assured him that setting off his ‘noise maker’ would just result in a very loud boom. Instead, it had taken out Rude’s ceiling. The rookie shook his head.

“So what’re ya doin’ with it?” he asked.

“Learnin’,” Sato replied. “It’s another one ‘o Istev’s, no doubt. All his bombs have a signature o’ sorts. This’un’s a wee bit different from others ‘o his I’ve seen, though. Istev usually likes remotes. Here, he used a timer… ‘n it failed on ‘im. Been tryin’ ta figure out why it failed.”

“Tch… does it matter?”

Sato shrugged. “Maybe. Maybe not. If nothin’ else, it’ll give me a better idea how ta disarm the next one. And yeh can rest assured… unless we take the son of a cripshay out, they’ll be a next one.”

“Reno… I need you in my office, please,” Remy said, poking her head through the open door. The redhead shrugged and left Sato to his bomb dismantling, quickly following the senior Turk out into the hallway and down to her office.

“What’s up?” he asked, as she shut the door behind them.

“With Cissnei out of the field until her arm heals, Rufus is going to need a new escort. Rude’s still on medical restriction, and the vice president has categorically stated that he will not tolerate Rodney. Tseng is handling it for today, but he can’t play bodyguard indefinitely. So… you’re up, starting tomorrow.”

The redhead stared at her for a moment, surprised. “Uhh… Thought I wasn’t allowed anywhere near his secretary anymore,” he ventured, as diplomatically as possible. He definitely didn’t want a repeat of his run-in with Director Faine… but Remy shook her head.

“That’s no longer an issue. He fired her this morning, apparently,” she replied. “Additionally, Rufus will be traveling mid-week to Kalm. You’ll be part of his security detail for that as well.”

“The fuck’s he doin’ goin’ to Kalm right now?” the redhead asked, surprised. It certainly wasn’t an ideal time for anyone with the last name Shinra to be traveling anywhere. Not even to the sleepy little town east of Midgar.

“War or not, Shinra Company is still a business. And Rufus was in the middle of negotiating the building of a new reactor in Corel. The President wants that deal settled so that as soon as the situation in Wutai has been dealt with, we can begin building it. Leadership from the town, however, has refused to come to Midgar after the recent attacks on the city, and we’re certainly not sending Rufus all the way to Corel, even under heavy guard. Kalm was a compromise.”

“… ‘kay, guess I’m babysittin’ tomorrow, then,” said Reno, “Got anything for me this afternoon?”

“Yes, actually…” Remy replied, and the rookie could hear the hesitation in her voice, “But… you don’t have to do it if you’d rather not. It’s technically Tseng’s responsibility. It’s just that his hands are a bit full at the moment, and so are mine…”

Reno’s eyebrow rose in suspicion. “What is it?”

Remy sighed softly.

“… Someone… needs to clean out Luca’s office. Gather up his notes, file any completed reports, pack up any personal items so we can return them to his family… That sort of thing.” She paused for a moment, before hastily adding, “As I said… you don’t have to do it. It’s not really an immediate priority. It… well, it can wait until either Tseng or myself have time to see to it. But it would be greatly appreciated.”

The redhead swallowed sharply but nodded.

“Y-yeah. I can do that.”

He really didn’t want to… but if he didn’t, Tseng would probably end up getting stuck with it, and after his disappearing act following the funeral, he wasn’t so sure the Turk lieutenant would be up for it any time soon.

“Thank you,” Remy said, gratefully.

---

Reno had been standing outside the door to Luca’s office, clutching an empty cardboard box, for nearly a solid minute now. The whole time, he’d been telling himself to just get it the fuck over with and go in, but somehow it just wasn’t that simple. There was a certain finality to this. As if he were somehow erasing the last of Luca’s existence from headquarters. It felt wrong.

But it had to be done, and he’d told Remy that he’d handle it.

At last, he pushed the door open and slipped inside, turning on the lights. No one had been in here since last week, and everything was just the way Luca had left it. The rookie set the box on the floor next to the desk, and took a seat in the chair behind it.

Luca had been a bit of a computer nerd in his spare time, and a small pile of tech magazines bore witness to that. They were the first items Reno tucked into the box reserved for the Turk’s personal items, followed swiftly by the little collection of anime and gaming figurines lined up on top of his computer monitor. He recognized one of them as the Master Sergeant figure from the Aurora video game series that Reno had given him for his most recent birthday. It was a game Luca had introduced him to, and had quickly become one of his favorites.

He had a feeling it was going to be weird playing it for awhile.

Several reports were stacked neatly in a little outbox on one side of the desk, and the redhead stuffed them into a folder to take back to his own office for data entry and eventual filing. After that, he turned to the drawers, opening them one at a time and sorting through the items inside. Luca’s notes joined the reports on the corner of the desk. Office supplies and a few stray boxes of ammunition were set aside to be redistributed to the rest of the team. Still more of the late Turk’s personal possessions went into the box. That became Reno’s routine for nearly twenty minutes, and though he made a valiant attempt at doing so dispassionately, it gradually became harder and harder.

So much so that when he reached the second to last drawer, he had to stop. Inside were several loose photos, and underneath them, a large album. Apparently, Luca hadn’t found time to add them to the book. He flipped through a few pages, realizing that they were all pictures of the team, and honestly wasn’t sure if it should go in the box, or stay here, at headquarters. It was certainly personal… but judging by the way Luca’s sister had looked at them the other day, he somehow doubted she’d appreciate having it. Assuming she didn’t just destroy it at the first opportunity.

A moment later, he was forced to wipe his eyes with the back of his hand, before his emotions got the better of him, and finally set the photo album with the stack of reports. If Tseng or Remy or whoever was in charge of returning the items thought it should go to Luca’s family, he’d let them make that decision.

He just couldn’t.

~end chapter 80~