Desha's Reno of the Turks Fan Fiction

Chapter 44: A Hellish Beginning…

Rude sighed and shook his head, watching his dining companion poke forlornly at the beautifully seared steak, and tried not to take it as commentary on his cooking. He knew it wasn’t that. In fact, he knew exactly why his friend’s normally insatiable appetite had dwindled to near non-existent this evening.

“It’s just one week,” he said at last. In spite of having been ordered not to discuss Hell Week with the redhead, it was simply too much to sit there, watching him suffer, and say nothing. “It’ll be over before you know it.”

“You’re assumin’ I make it through the week,” Reno replied, miserably. The other rookie smirked slightly.

“Want me to see if I can give you food poisoning?”

His friend gave a halfhearted laugh at that and looked up from his plate.

“Tempting. Unfortunately, if I can’t poison myself with my own cooking, I don’t think you’ll be able to pull it off with yours. Might be easier if ya just broke both my legs or somethin’…”

Rude snorted softly in amusement. “Much as I’d like some payback for getting me reprimanded, sending you to the hospital might be taking things a little too far. Eat something,will you? It’s downright bizarre seeing food sitting in front of you untouched.”

Reno finally acquiesced to the request and picked up his fork again, spearing a bite-sized chunk of meat and shoving it into his mouth. Rude frowned when he didn’t make any move to take a second.

“It’s really not that bad. You’ll do fine,” he said, and then snickered, “Hmph… unless, of course, you’re so run down from starving yourself all weekend that you end up face-planting on the first test.”

The redhead rolled his eyes… but he did grudgingly take another bite.

“Ya know, it’s the not knowin’ that’s gettin’ to me. No one’ll tell me what they’re gonna do to me. No one’ll tell me when it’s gonna happen. No one’ll tell me where. Too many fuckin’ possibilities… Hell, if Sato’s to be believed, I’m not even safe in my own home.”

A wide grin spread over Rude’s face at that last comment. Sato tended to exaggerate. A lot. But in this instance, it was a hundred percent true. Rude himself had woken to find himself tied to his bed on the second day of Hell Week and was expected to extract himself from the restraints… under a time limit. He still wasn’t entirely sure how Tres and Veld had managed to do that without waking him up.

“Tch… and the way you’re lookin’ at me right now isn’t exactly puttin’ my mind at ease, you dick,” his fellow rookie added, scowling.

“Oh, would you just relax? The tests aren’t anything that’ll hurt you…”

“Yeah, I know, but…” Reno began, hesitating for a moment in uncertainty, “… what if I don’t… pass?”

“There’s no passing or failing,” Rude replied, “It’s just to figure out what level your skills are at so they know where you need the most work.” He grinned again. “And to torture you.”

“Ha fuckin’ ha,” the redhead replied, dryly. “Seriously, Rude… What if I fuck up so bad Tseng decides I’m not cut out to be a Turk? I like bein’ a Turk!”

The other rookie rolled his eyes in response. “I thought you were over that…”

“… Yeah. So did I. ‘Til fuckin’ Hell Week came along,” Reno muttered.

“Am I gonna have to toss you in the pool again at some point?” Rude asked, a challenging eyebrow rising from behind the lenses of his sunglasses. Reno smiled and gave a quiet laugh, more genuine this time.

“Probably.”

“You’re gonna do fine. Now get out of your own head and eat. Hell Week officially starts at midnight… and it’s already almost seven.”

The redhead suddenly paled slightly. “You don’t really think Tseng’d do somethin’ tonight, do ya?!”

“I don’t know. How sadistic is he?” Rude asked with a shrug. Reno groaned in dismay and shoved his plate away from him.

“I’m gonna fuckin’ die. If the tests don’t kill me, the stress will.”

Rude sniggered and pushed the rejected plate back toward his friend.

“Not if you starve to death first. Eat.”

---

Reno yawned as he made his way downstairs the next morning. The elevator doors opened and he yawned again as he stepped out into the hallway… and then again as he walked over to Rude. The other rookie snickered at the sight.

“Is this your plan? Sleepwalk through Hell Week?” he teased.

“Ugh. I got like… zero sleep last night,” Reno grumbled as they headed out into the parking lot. The icy winter air was like a slap in the face… but at least it woke him up a bit. “Every time I’d start to doze off, I’d swear I’d hear somethin’ and start wonderin’ if it was Tseng gettin’ ready to throw some insane challenge at me. I finally just gave up and started watchin’ TV. Hey, but on the plus side… in three to six weeks I’ll be the proud owner a wearable sauna.”

Rude paused mid-stride. “A… what?”

“Honestly… I don’t even know. I think it’s like… a heated robe, or some shit. It was three in the fuckin’ morning, okay?!”

His fellow rookie burst out laughing as they reached Rude’s truck, and he opened the passenger side door for him. Reno glared and climbed inside, shivering slightly in the cold. It had seemed like a great idea at the time. In the light of day, though… the assholes on those late-night commercials trying to pass for entertainment were way too convincing when he wasn’t awake enough to think straight.

Rude was still snickering loudly when he finally climbed into the driver’s seat.

“Ah, shut up,” the redhead muttered, “‘Least I managed to talk myself outta orderin’ the toilet light…”

“Toilet light?” he laughed, “Do I even want to know?”

“It’s a light that goes inside the toilet. Ya know. For at night, so ya don’t have to turn on the lights to take a piss and blind yourself.”

Rude shook his head and started the engine before backing out of his parking space and pulling out onto the street.

“You need to stay away from infomercials,” he chuckled in reply.

“Tch… tell me about.”

He fell silent for much of the remainder of the ride, and Rude seemed content to leave him to his own thoughts for awhile. He was not looking forward to this. He didn’t mind being evaluated… Hell, he basically lived in a constant state of evaluation any time he was on duty. But sitting around, waiting for something to be sprung on him without notice was maddening.

Would Tseng hit him with the first test the second he walked into the office? Or was he going to wait and let him stew half the day before pulling something? Reno wasn’t sure which was worse, to be honest. One part of him just wanted it over with, and the other was hoping it never started. In spite of the fact that Rude had gone to great lengths to reassure him that Hell Week wasn’t as big a deal as he was making it out to be, the annoying voice in the back of his mind kept coming up with new and ever more terrifying what-ifs.

Logically, he knew that easily three quarters of the worst-case scenarios his imagination had dreamed up were unlikely… if not outright ridiculous. But they refused to leave him alone, and every time he finally succeeded in dismissing one, something new occurred to him.

And on top of that, he was starving.

He had, in the end, managed to finish about half of his dinner, and only because Rude kept pestering him to take ‘just one more bite’. Breakfast, though, he hadn’t even bothered making an attempt, opting instead to simply inhale an entire pot of coffee. Being hungry but having no appetite sucked, and he really hoped that whatever Tseng had in store for him, he hit him with it before lunch time rolled around… because if he could just get through the first round, he was absolutely certain his nerves would settle a bit and he’d start feeling less on edge. And that would mean he’d be able to eat.

A gentle nudge in the ribs pulled him from his thoughts and Reno looked up in confusion.

“You getting out or what?” Rude asked. It took the redhead a moment to realize that the truck had stopped moving. He turned his head and glanced out the window and suddenly noticed that not only had they stopped… they were parked in the Shinra Building’s parking deck.

He sighed and opened the door, slipping out into the cold air again. Rude waited for him as he rounded the back of the vehicle and they walked to the elevators together. Reno arched an eyebrow in curiosity when Rude hesitated in pressing the button for their floor, but a moment later, the doors closed behind them and they were on their way up.

“Somethin’ up?” the redhead asked, suddenly noticing the slight stiffening of his friend’s posture. Rude looked up in surprise, and hurriedly shook his head… though Reno couldn’t help but be suspicious. Before he could press him farther, though, the elevator chimed and the doors opened again. With a mental shrug he strode out into the hallway…

… And was immediately blindsided by a sharp kick to the back of his knee. Reno went down hard on the tile floor, and instinctively rolled to his left, narrowly avoiding the second strike that would have hit him in the ribs while he was down. A hooded figure dressed entirely in black stood over him, and the rookie scurried to his feet.

Rude was nowhere to be seen. Neither was any other friendly face, for that matter. Turks headquarters appeared to be deserted. He had little time to wonder what was going on, however, as his attacker was moving in again. The figure lunged for him, but Reno was quick to dodge. He glared angrily and took a swing, landing a hard punch to the stranger’s gut and blocked the retaliatory strike that came next. He also just barely avoided the swift leg sweep that almost certainly would have sent him to the ground again.

Reno turned, hooking his assailant’s knee with one foot and shoving him backwards. The stranger went down with a loud thud, and the redhead smirked.

“Gotcha…” he said, grinning as he leaned down, reaching for the dark figure’s hood.

A moment later, he realized that had been a mistake. The man seized him by the ankle and twisted it, and Reno felt himself rotating right along with it, feeling his balance slipping. The next thing he knew, he was slammed painfully into the floor by his own momentum, landing flat on his stomach. The impact drove the air from his lungs and sent a sharp wave of pain across his ribcage. He winced as a knee planted itself firmly in the small of his back.

“Would you care to reevaluate that ‘gotcha’?” a familiar voice asked, somewhat teasingly.

“… I think I’d rather reevaluate my life choices,” the redhead groaned. The pressure on his back eased, and Reno found himself free once more. He rolled over, glaring up at his attacker. “Thought none of these fuckin’ tests were s’posed to hurt me.”

Tseng removed the hood and offered his protege a hand, which the rookie grudgingly accepted. He pulled him to his feet.

“Well… They’re not meant to cause any permanent damage. Minor bumps and bruises, however, are an occasional a consequence.”

The redhead snorted in contempt. “Yeah, well… tell that to my ribs. That fuckin’ hurt.”

“I’m sure they’ll be feeling much better before your next evaluation,” Tseng replied, turning and heading off down the hallway. “If you’re planning on indulging in the donuts Saya very kindly left on your desk for you, you had better hurry. The morning briefing starts in ten minutes.”

“Tch… You’re not even gonna tell me how I did?” Reno called after him. The Turk lieutenant didn’t look back.

“Welcome to Hell Week, Reno…” Tseng replied with a quiet laugh. With that, he rounded the corner, disappearing from view.

---

Saya slapped at the hand that was stealthily reaching into the large box on the rookie’s desk.

“Those aren’t fer yeh!” she chastised, as the offending appendage was quickly withdrawn. Sato glared up at his cousin from Reno’s chair.

“Like he really needs all of ’em…” he groused, rubbing his hand. Rude shook his head.

“He might. He hasn’t been eating very well the last few days. Too nervous.”

“Oh… the poor wee thing…” Saya sighed, “Hell Week’s never fun, but Tseng just had ta go ‘n tell him so far in advance…”

“Heh… may not be fun fer the sorry Turk goin’ through it,” Sato said, grinning, “Fer the rest ‘o us, though…” He laughed and made another attempt at sneaking a donut while Saya’s attention was on Rude. It failed, and he yelped loudly when the woman slapped him across the face this time. “Fer Odin’s sake! Would yeh stop hittin’ me, woman?!”

“Aye, I will. When yeh stop givin’ me a reason ta.”

“Well, that will never happen,” Kai stated definitively as she strode into the little office. She sidestepped Saya, grabbed the box, and helped herself to a donut before the other woman could stop her.

“Kai!” Saya shouted, glaring at her fellow Turk. Kai merely smirked and took a bite.

“Ah, he won’t miss one,” she insisted, setting the box back on the desk.

Sato reached for it a third time.

“DON’T YEH EVEN THINK ABOUT IT, SATO!”

The Mideelian Turk froze, and a moment later, reluctantly withdrew his hand and folded his arms over his chest looking cross.

“So… think he beat Tseng?” Kai asked around a mouthful of donut.

“Hmph… I didn’t,” Rude replied, “And Reno can’t even beat me yet.”

“Gee, thanks for the vote of confidence,” the aforementioned redhead snarked, squeezing into the unusually crowded office behind Kai. “You guys havin’ a party to celebrate me bein’ tortured or somethin’?”

“I’m just here for the free food,” Kai replied with a snicker. “So’d you beat him?”

“… Uh… no,” Reno replied, “But I’m pretty sure I got some nice bruises as a consolation prize.”

Saya giggled quietly and retrieved the box, opening the lid and holding it out to him. Reno flashed her a grateful smile and grabbed two of the doughy, sugar-coated rings.

“Finally got your appetite back?” Rude asked. The redhead shoved a donut into his mouth whole.

“Seems like it…” he mumbled in response. He swallowed somewhat painfully, forcing the massive bite down. “Don’t s’pose you guys could tell me what to expect next…”

“Nope,” Sato replied. He made one final attempt at securing himself breakfast, only to be blocked by Reno, who snickered and carted the box off, over to Rude’s desk instead.

“Am I at least done for the first day?” he queried.

Saya chuckled and hauled her cousin out of Reno’s chair. “Even if we knew, we couldnae tell yeh. But fact is, we’re not privy ta Tseng’s schedule. We’re only let in on it when we’re needed.”

“‘N so far, we haven’t been needed,” Sato added. “Damn Wutaiian bastard, keepin’ all the fun ta himself…”

“It’s only just started, yeh idiot.”

“Are you five going to stand around bickering, or are you going to report for morning briefing?” Remy asked as she paused at the door, clearly on her way to the conference room. Reno grabbed two more donuts and hurried past her.

“Why are yeh in such a hurry?” Sato asked as the redhead slipped into the hallway.

“Tch… ‘least I know I’m safe at the briefing,” he called back.

Kai snickered loudly as he disappeared. “Think we oughta tell him what happened at the briefing during Shay’s Hell Week?”

---

Reno had spent the better part of the day jumping at every little sound or movement. It had made training… interesting… to say the least. Rude had accidentally clobbered him more than once due to his permanent state of distraction. He hadn’t seen hide nor hair of Tseng since the morning briefing… and the longer it went on, the more tense the rookie was becoming.

He’d been right… as soon as the first evaluation was over and done with, he’d calmed down almost immediately. Unfortunately, the longer things went with no further tests, the more on edge he was starting to get again. He’d even turned down coffee when it was offered at one point. He was jittery enough that he really didn’t need the extra spike of energy.

But now… the day was finally over. Luca had sent him off with an armload of requisition forms to deliver to the General Affairs department’s main office, and now, he was on his way back up to collect Rude and go the fuck home. Hopefully, he’d be able to relax tonight and get some sleep. He didn’t think another round of infomercials would work to his benefit.

Reno stepped aboard the elevator and pressed the button for fifty-eight. The doors closed and the car began it’s journey upwards.

The redhead stretched his arms above his head until his shoulder cracked, and then rolled his head from side to side for a moment, releasing some of the tension that had built up in his muscles. If he was this bad after only the first day, he’d be one giant Ifrit-forsaken knot by the end of the week. He wondered if Izzy was free tonight. He could use the distraction… and the woman gave damned good backrubs. He wished he’d thought of that while he was down on her floor… Would’ve saved him a phone call.

Reno leaned back against the wall of the elevator and pulled out his PHS, opening up his contacts list, and scrolling through it until he got to her name. Before his could dial, however, the panel on the wall caught his eye. The numbers had already ticked past fifty-eight, for some reason failing to stop at its intended destination; instead it had continued on, passing the fiftieth floor… the sixtieth floor… the sixty-fifth…

At the sixty-ninth, it stopped. And sat there. No friendly chime. No swish of the doors opening to let him out. Nothing.

He groaned in frustration. Just how he wanted to end his day… stuck in an elevator. Reno jabbed at the button for his floor again several times, and waited. When nothing happened, he pressed the call button to let building security know he was stuck… and frowned when it did nothing, either.

Suddenly, the elevator car was plunged into darkness, and Reno yelped in surprise before the emergency lighting came on. He glanced up at the orange-ish lights that now illuminated the cramped space and the camera in the corner. A tiny red light blinked monotonously beside the lens.

“Hey! Assholes!” he yelled, waving at the device. “Hellooooo…”

Nothing.

“Great… That’s just fuckin’ great,” he muttered, glancing back down at his PHS and canceling the call to Izzy in favor of calling Rude instead. Before he could dial, however, the car jolted downward a foot or two. Reno dropped the phone, his hands instinctively gripping the railing that ran around the interior of the car, eyes going wide. A moment later, his stomach lurched in response to the terrifying sensation of rapid, plunging descent.

And so he did the only thing he really could do in that situation. He screamed.

“Oh fuck, oh fuck, oh fuck!”

The floor numbers on the little LED screen above the door were practically a blur, but he could still tell that he was dropping like a stone past floor sixty… fifty… forty… It wasn’t fucking stopping! Didn’t these goddamn deathtraps have emergency brakes?!

Reno looked around wildly for some sort of escape. There was a hatch in the ceiling… but fat lot of good that’d do him. Even if he managed to open it and crawl out, where the hell was he gonna go from there? He spotted a small metal door underneath the control panel labeled “Maintenance”. He forced it open, praying that the maintenance department had some way of locking an elevator in place for repairs and such.

A faint wave of relief hit him when he saw the lever inside labeled ‘manual brake’. He yanked down on it as hard as he could, and cringed as the ear-piercing squeal of metal on metal filled the air. The falling sensation in the pit of his stomach began to abate as the elevator slowed and eventually jerked to a stop.

Shaking, and with his heart hammering so violently in his chest he was half-certain it might punch through his ribcage, he glanced up at the screen above the door. Fourteen.

He was only fourteen goddamned floors away from certain fucking death.

Reno leaned back against the wall of the car. His hand tightened around the railing again as his knees gave out beneath him dropping him to the floor.

“… Okay. I’m not dead. I’m not gonna die. I just gotta get the hell outta here,” he said, breathlessly. But before he could make any further effort to free himself, the lights flickered back on above him, and, to his abject horror, the elevator started to climb again. “Oh… fuck! Not again!”

He watched in absolute dread as the numbers ticked up again… tried pulling on the brake, to no avail. When he reached the fifty-eighth floor, it stopped, and the rookie closed his eyes and braced himself for the inevitable drop.

It never came.

Instead, the doors swished open and the elevator chimed merrily to let him know that he’d arrived at headquarters. A faint snicker greeted him.

“Good thing Rude’s the one drivin’ the kid home tonight. He looks like he’s about five seconds from passin’ out,” Tres’ voice commented, and the redhead finally dared to crack open one eye. Most of the team was gathered around the elevators, grinning at him.

“Are you fuckers seriously tryin’ to kill me?!” he managed to shout as he staggered out of the elevator, prompting a laugh from most of those present. A hand gently squeezed his shoulder, and he looked over to find Tseng standing beside him.

“Not just yet…” the Turk lieutenant chuckled, “It’s only the first day, after all.”

---

“Rude, you don’t fuckin’ get it. I seriously thought I was about to die. Ya know that whole cliché about seein’ your life flash before your eyes? It’s fuckin’ real.”

The redhead had been in rant mode ever since they’d left headquarters… which, considering he’d insisted on taking the stairs down to the parking deck, had be a lot longer than it would have been otherwise. Rude chuckled quietly and made the turn onto the freeway.

“I do get it. They did it to me, too. They do it to everyone.”

“Bunch of fuckin’ psychos is what they are…” Reno muttered. “What the hell was that supposed to test anyway? My ability not to piss myself?”

“Tres said it tests your panic reaction. The sooner you stop the elevator, the better your score.”

“… What happens if you don’t stop it?” the redhead queried, somewhat hesitantly.

“Saya told me it stops on the third floor if you don’t realize the brake’s there. She said most Turks figure it out somewhere between twenty and ten.”

“Yeah? Where’d you end up?”

Rude flashed him a smug grin.

“… Thirty-eight.”

The redhead blinked in surprise. “Thirty-eight?!” he repeated. The other rookie nodded, but kept his eyes on the road.

“Veld said it was a new all-time best. Broke the old record of thirty-two.”

“Yeah? Tch… bet that was Tseng’s score,” Reno snickered. Rude shook his head and smirked.

“It was Remy’s. Think she was kind of annoyed I beat it, actually. She went a lot harder than usual on me in the training room that afternoon.”

Reno laughed and turned his attention to the passing scenery. “Wonder what Tseng’s score was, then…”

Rude took the next exit, and slowed as he turned onto one of the main streets running through Sector 3. Trucks were out spreading salt over the streets. Apparently Midgar was expecting more snow. He’d been too fascinated by Reno’s Hell Week to remember to look at the weather report. He made a mental note to check it as soon as he got home. They’d have to leave early tomorrow morning if the roads were bad.

“Hmph… no one I asked seemed to know. Tres was busy helping Veld torture me, so I never got the chance to ask either of them, and the only other Turk who was around when Tseng was still a rookie would’ve been Aaron… and he obviously wasn’t an option. I guess I just forgot about it later, with everything else going on.”

Reno looked away from the window, focusing his attention back on his friend.

“Huh. Don’t let me forget to find out. Now ya got me curious,” he said. “You busy tonight? Wanna grab a pizza or something ‘n hit the game room?”

“What? So I can lose at pool for a few hours?” Rude snickered.

“You can lose at chess instead, if ya want,” the redhead replied, grinning.

---

“Move it, you two! Just two more laps to go!” Remy goaded him as she lapped him for the second time. Reno groaned and glanced over at Rude.

“Is she… serious?” he panted. They’d been at it for going on an hour now. “How… the fuck… is she still… running?”

He himself was barely moving at a stumbling jog at this point, and Rude wasn’t doing much better. Endurance training was one of his least favorite on the Turk repertoire. He was great at short bursts of speed, but over the long haul? He just didn’t have it in him, and though he was greatly improved over his initial showing, the redhead seemed to have hit a plateau. He wasn’t getting any better, no matter how much effort he put into it.

At least it wasn’t as painful as it used to be. Twenty laps… roughly five miles on the track… at a dead run, with no breaks. Remy was one the very few who could actually do it without ever slowing to a walk, or even a jog – even Tseng usually had to ease off a bit around lap number ten. And she was relentless.

Rude didn’t answer. He was staring solely at the track in front of him, most of his attention focused on continuing to robotically put one foot in front of the other. Reno didn’t blame him. The whole thing was an exercise in pain, and the only way to push through it was to ignore everything but the goal. His lungs ached, his calves ached… hell, even his fingers were starting to ache due to what the senior Turk called ‘runner’s edema’. Something about blood being forced into the extremities, particularly the hands, to help cool the body, causing them to swell slightly. He really didn’t care for it. It felt weird.

They completed their next to last lap, and Rude began to drop back. Only by a few steps at first, but soon, Reno was well ahead of him. He was tempted to slow down some more, as well… but at this point, he was so close he just wanted it to end. About three quarters of the way around he pushed hard and sprinted that last of the distance, collapsing to his hands and knees at the finish line and pulling in long gulps of air. He was soaked in sweat. It was dripping off of him in a torrent, and he vaguely wondered if someone had cranked up the heat in the gym today. Nearly a minute later, Rude joined him.

“Alright. We’re done,” Remy said, calmly walking over to them. “Reno… good effort. Nice to see you go for broke at the end for once. Rude… you need push yourself more.”

The pair merely groaned in response, neither rookie able to form a coherent sentence at the moment.

“Get some water and hit the showers,” the senior Turk added. “I’m cutting you two loose early today. Take a break before your next session with Luca.”

“You’d think… she’d go easy… on me, at least…” Reno said, glancing over at his fellow rookie. “Hell Week… and all.”

“That’s why I’m letting you leave a whole ten minutes early,” Remy stated.

“So… generous…” the redhead gasped.

“Hmph… well, if you’d prefer, we can always run a few more laps instead.”

He looked up, wide-eyed, vehemently shaking his head. “No… anything but that.”

“Then show a little gratitude and get out of here,” she replied, smirking slightly. Reno didn’t need to be told twice, and neither did Rude. The two rookie hauled themselves to their feet and staggered off toward the locker rooms before she could change her mind.

Reno pushed open the door and wandered over to one of the long benches that ran between the lockers, and laid down with a soft grunt.

“Ya think if I just stay right here, everyone’ll forget about me for awhile?”

“Doubt it,” Rude replied as he tiredly drifted past him, heading for the showers. Reno heard the water start running and forced himself upright. Exhausted as he was, the lure of hot water on aching muscles was far too much to resist. He stripped off as he went, leaving a trail of sweaty workout clothes in his wake and claimed a shower stall for himself, cranking it up to near-scorching.

He moaned in relief as it washed over him.

“Hey, Rude?” he called out over the sound of the spray.

“Yeah?”

“So… I’m halfway through the day. What dya s’pose the odds of me not gettin’ blindsided by a test today are?”

“Slim to none,” the other rookie snickered. Reno sighed, bracing his arms against the wall, and bowed his head, letting the torrent massage the back of his neck.

“Come on, man. At least give me the opportunity to hope.”

“It’s Hell Week. There is no hope,” he shot back.

“Way ta put a guy at ease, Rude…”

His friend snickered, but didn’t comment further. The water in the other shower shut off and Reno heard the faint rustle of the curtain sliding across the bar. Normally, he was content to hose himself down, towel off, and get dressed. Today, though… he had some extra time to waste and the heat felt too nice to rush it.

“Hey…” Rude called to him few minutes later, “Wanna get away for awhile? It’s almost lunch time anyway. New restaurant just opened four blocks down. My treat.”

“Oh, fuck yes. Food and not bein’ here sounds fuckin’ fantastic right now.”

“I’ll swing by headquarters and grab our coats. Meet you down in the lobby in ten?”

“Sounds great.”

He lingered a moment or two after Rude took his leave, before finally shutting off the tap. The world around him cooled almost instantly and he shivered slightly. Bracing himself for the onslaught of room temperature air that was about to hit him, he sighed and pushed aside the curtain, grabbing a towel from the neat stack nearby and heading for his locker.

He glanced down at the floor as he went and noticed that his workout clothes had vanished while he was in the shower. The redhead snorted a soft laugh. Rude could be a real neat freak sometimes. Reno rubbed his dripping hair down until it was merely damp, and wrapped the towel around his waist before lifting the latch on his locker door.

“… The fuck?” he murmured.

It was empty. He turned in confusion, opening the one next to his, just in case he’d somehow managed to stuff his crap into the wrong one. It, too was empty.

“I’m afraid I’ve taken the liberty of temporarily emptying them all,” a voice behind him stated, and Reno immediately groaned. Evaluation time. He slowly turned to face his mentor and sighed.

“What is it this time?” he asked, resigned to his fate. Tseng chuckled softly.

“Something I doubt very much you of all people will have any trouble with. But as it’s a required area of evaluation for Hell Week, I thought I’d find out just to what extent that’s true.”

Reno crossed his arms over his chest and leaned back against the row of lockers. “Alright… So what do I gotta do?”

“Simply find your clothes,” Tseng replied, a knowing smirk spreading across his lips. The rookie eyed him suspiciously.

“What’s the catch?”

“They’re located on the first floor concourse.”

The redhead rolled his eyes. “You fuckin’ serious?” he asked. “You’re really gonna make me go downstairs in a towel to get my clothes back and call it an ‘evaluation’? Please.”

“Of course not. The towel stays here.”

Reno snorted in amusement. “Fine with me.”

He unwrapped the towel from his waist and tossed it to the Turk lieutenant.

“Don’t s’pose you’ve done me the favor of leavin’ ’em all in one place…” he added as he strolled past him, heading for the door.

“That would be far too easy,” Tseng replied.

“‘Course it would… Do me a favor and tell Rude I’m gonna be late meetin’ him for lunch, will ya?”

“Already done,” his mentor chuckled.

---

Reno was very nearly laughing by the time he finally stepped out onto the first floor. It was lunch time, and the elevator had stopped at nearly every other floor to let people board. Most had taken one look at the naked Turk casually standing inside the car and noped right the hell out of there to find an alternate route. Once brave soul had joined him and ridden down as far as the nineteenth floor with him before not so subtly checking out his ass and disembarking to meet with someone from legal.

It didn’t particularly bother him. After spending so much time over the years with Lira – and the other girls she was acquainted with – nudity was definitely not one of his hangups. It just… didn’t bother him like it did some people. If Tseng thought he was gonna have any kind of problem doing this, his mentor was sadly mistaken.

The redhead paused just outside the elevator doors and took stock of his surroundings. The concourse was swarming with people, many of whom were probably avoiding the cafeteria and heading out for a bite to eat. It was so packed, in fact, that at first, no one even seemed to notice him.

Reno shook his head and strolled over to the information desk, grinning as he leaned on the counter and waited for the young woman on duty to turn around from the person she was currently helping. When she finally did, she squeaked in surprise and immediately went red.

“I-I… C-can I… er… help you?” she stammered. The rookie grinned warmly.

“Yeah… You happen to see a guy come down here a little while ago and start hidin’ clothes all over the place? Wutaiian… long hair… black suit… no discernible sense of humor…”

“… I-I just started my shift…” she replied, and Reno tried not to laugh when her gaze began shifting rapidly downward and immediately jerked back up to eye level as soon as she realized it.

“Tch… Guess I’ll just have ta hunt for ’em then,” he sighed, and then offered her a wide smile. “Hey, you’re not single by any chance, are ya? ‘Cause… I mean, if ya like what ya see, I’m free tonight…”

“I have a boyfriend…” the girl said, a little too quickly. He had a feeling she was making that up, but Reno simply shrugged.

“Yeah? Oh, well… Sucks for me. You’re pretty cute,” he responded with a teasing grin. He turned and walked away from the desk, eyes scanning the concourse, and pointedly ignoring the looks – and a few leers, as well – he was receiving.

“Okay…” he breathed, “If I was an asshole who’s pretendin’ he doesn’t think this is totally hilarious, where would I hide my shit?”

His gaze was drawn to the top of the large directory in the center of the lobby. He smirked as he spotted black fabric slung over one of the panels.

“Heh… Cute, Tseng.”

The redhead made his way over and jumped, fingers closing around the garment and pulling it from it’s perch. It was his jacket.

“Well, that’s one down,” he said to himself. He folded it over one arm and resumed his search of the space. In short order, he’d located one shoe near the garbage can, his underwear draped over the bannister for the east stairs, socks tied to the handle of the security office door, and his shirt tucked beneath the leaves of a potted plant. He snickered as he finally picked up his second shoe, hiding in the shadow of the western staircase.

“… Pants,” he muttered, looking around. “Where the fuck’d he put – Oh… you bastard.”

There they were… on top of the huge Shinra Company sign that took up most of the central portion of the lobby. The damn thing was easily fifteen feet tall, and his pants looked to be folded neatly on top of the Shinra logo… the sign’s highest point. He was going to have to climb it. With an annoyed sigh, he dropped his collection as the base of the sign, and hoisted himself up.

If he hadn’t felt like he’d been on display before, he certainly did now… particularly since finding a decent foothold to boost himself up to the ledge required a little bit of awkward feeling around with one foot while the other supported his weight. Anyone walking by was certainly getting one hell of a view of his… assets. At last he found a position from which he could reach the ledge and pulled himself onto it. Grinning in triumph, he grabbed the last of his clothes and eased himself back down to the floor.

Reno gathered up the rest of his uniform and headed for the elevator… but not without flashing the girl at the reception desk a wide grin as he left.

The people getting off on the first floor scattered out of his way with varying expressions of shock, and the rookie jabbed the button for fifty-eight, strolling casually into headquarters a few short moments later. Kai was rounding the corner just as he arrived.

“Oh, for Shiva’s sake…” she muttered, rolling her eyes, “You were supposed to put them back on, you little pervert.”

“Where’s the fun in that?” he asked, innocently, as he walked past her towards his own office. “Tch… Little. Trust me, Kai… Nothin’ little about it. It’s just cold as fuck in this office today…”

“Whatever you say, Turkling…” she laughed. Reno grinned and stepped around the corner, making his way over to his office. Rude and Tseng were both waiting for him, as were Tres and Remy.

“Success!” he declared, setting the pile of clothes down on his desk. Tseng arched an eyebrow.

“Congratulations. Why are you still undressed?”

“I just figured… everyone downstairs got a good look. Least I can do is offer my fellow Turks the same…” he joked.

“Heh… Already got a good look, kid. We’ve been watchin’ ya on the security cams the whole time,” Tres snickered, pointing at the display on Rude’s computer, which was currently showing video from the first floor.

“And Kai says I’m the pervert,” Reno shot back. He glanced over at Remy. “See anything ya like?”

“Spare me,” she replied, with a roll of her eyes.

“What’s that?” he asked, smirking as he hopped up onto Rude’s desk, “You said you want a better look?”

He spun slowly, grinning maniacally the whole time as he gave the senior Turk a three hundred and sixty degree view. Remy didn’t seem especially impressed.

“What in Leviathan’s name are you doing?” she asked in exasperation.

“Strip tease? Ya know… without the havin’ to strip part, seein’ as Tseng already took care of that for me…”

“Oh, give me a break.”

Tres snickered quietly. “Remy, hon… just cut your losses here. The more you profess indifference, the worse he’s gonna get. You’ve got no limit to your snark and the kid’s got no shame. We’ll be here all day.”

By then, the redhead was slowly swaying his hips back and forth, as he continued his slow turn on top of the desk. For whatever reason, now he really wanted to see what it took to make Remy blush… and he was willing to go the distance to accomplish that.

“Come on, Remy… just admit it. You’re enjoyin’ this,” he teased.

“What’s goin’ on in – Oh, dear Odin… Reno, put yer clothes back on,” Saya groaned as she paused in front of the door to the office and took in the sight before her.

“Hey, it could be worse,” the rookie replied, grinning, “It could be Heidegger up here dancing around naked.”

“Well, there’s a mental image I didnae need…”

“Reno…” a new voice called from outside, something undeniably insistent in its tone. The rookie was much too far gone by then, however, to heed the warning.

“Heh… hear he’s been hookin’ up with the new exec now that the President’s sick of bonin’ her. Think him ‘n Scarlet are into the kinky stuff?”

“Reno, shut up!” Luca hissed, peering around the doorframe. “Tseng… Veld needs you out here. Now.”

“That’s gotta be some interesting shit. I mean… he’s like four fuckin’ times her size…” he added, oblivious to the shift in the room’s atmosphere. Everyone had gone silent. By the time he realized that their eyes were suddenly focused elsewhere, it was much too late.

“YOU FILTHY LITTLE SLUM RAT!” a furious voice boomed, and Reno felt his blood run cold as the executive himself suddenly appeared at the office door, having apparently simply shoved Luca out of his way. It was only then that the rookie figured out that the older Turk had been trying to warn him.

“Oh, fuck… I –”

Any attempt to talk his way out of the situation was abruptly curtailed, as Heidegger’s meaty fist closed around his throat. Reno struggled to free himself as he was lifted bodily from atop the desk by his neck and given an angry shake. He never would have guessed the fat, pompous son of a bitch was so strong!

“How dare you?!” the irate man hissed, his face mere inches from Reno’s. The redhead was dimly aware of the others scurrying to come to his aid, but by then, his vision was already darkening and all he could really focus on was the distinct lack of air entering his lungs. Anything else Heidegger may have said to him was lost to the effort it took to remain conscious. It felt as though his neck was being slowly crushed, and he couldn’t breath no matter how hard he fought. Darkness started to claim him, and Reno felt his body go limp.

Unexpectedly, the pressure on this throat was suddenly gone, and he dropped to the floor, gasping. Arms wrapped around him, and though he was terrified they intended some new punishment, he was strangely frozen to the spot, unable to fight them off.

A moment later, he was being rushed past the small gathering of faces, carried in a tight embrace. There was a soft, electronic beep and the sound of a security door sliding open, and suddenly, everything was silent save for his own harsh breathing and that of his rescuer.

“… You okay?” Rude’s voice prodded him. The redhead managed a dazed nod as he felt the other rookie release him long enough to slip his jacket off and drape it over his shoulders.

“Rude?” Reno queried after a moment. His heart was still pounding in response to the adrenaline surge.

“Yeah?”

“How the fuck do I manage to get myself into shit like this?” he asked, coughing softly as his vocal cords momentarily protested their usage. “I’m a fuckin’ dead man.”

Rude snorted a faint laugh, and leaned back against the tall filing cabinets that lined the room. It took Reno a moment longer to realize that he was sitting on the other rookie’s lap, hidden away in a dark corner on the floor of the archives room.

“You can relax… Heidegger doesn’t have direct access to the archives. Turks only,” Rude said in answer to the unasked question. “Figured even if he saw where we went, the others would have time to… do something…before he could get in here.”

“You’re a fuckin’ genius, pal,” Reno said, breathing a sigh of relief and letting his head rest against the older rookie’s shoulder.

“And you’re a complete idiot.”

“Can’t exactly argue with ya…” He suddenly groaned loudly. “I am so fucked…”

He wasn’t getting out of this one. It was one thing to tick off Tseng… or even Veld. But an executive? Fucking Heidegger?! He’d be lucky to walk out of here with his head still attached. Hell, if Rude hadn’t grabbed him, it might not be attached now. Even his biggest of screw-ups paled in comparison to what he’d just done. He was finished as a Turk. And this time, it wasn’t merely paranoia or self-doubt talking. There was no coming back from something like this.

A part of him wanted to sob at the sheer level of idiocy that had brought him to this point. Somehow, though, the tears wouldn’t come. If this was it for him, he was going to walk out of here with whatever dignity he still had left… which, given that he was currently naked and hiding in what was essentially a large closet, wasn’t much.

His only consolation was that he knew Tseng wouldn’t send him back to the Slums. He’d promised him that. He had no idea what Tseng was going to do with him… but he’d make sure his former-rookie was alright. He’d promised.

---

Tseng was less than calm… though one would hardly know it from his outward appearance. Veld had ordered him out of his office, likely for his own good. Heidegger was livid and demanding blood. His angry shouts could still be heard, albeit muffled and incomprehensible, out in the hallway.

“Well?” a voice behind him queried, and he turned to find every member of the team, minus Reno and Rude, huddled together watching him. He must have been far more distracted than he realized not to have noticed the little gathering until now. His eyes fell on Kai, who’d been the one to break the silence.

“I don’t know yet. Veld is… dealing with it. Where’s Reno?”

“Dunno… After Rude snapped ‘im up, he just took off runnin’,” Saya replied, “No one’s seen hide nor hair ‘o either of ’em since. Tried callin’ ’em, but Rude left his PHS on his desk, and… obviously Reno’s not got his at the moment.”

“Tres?” Tseng prodded.

“I’ll… go check the cameras. Can’t’ve gone too far.”

“Let me know the moment you locate them,” the Turk lieutenant replied.

“Yes, sir.” With that, Tres hurried off, leaving the rest of the group behind.

“The rest of you get back to work. Whatever is happening in that office, we still have assignments to see to,” Tseng ordered. The remaining Turk reluctantly began to disperse, heading off in the direction of their own offices or wherever else they were needed at present.

Kai, however, lingered.

“If you’re going to tell me that this was entirely my fault… you needed bother. I’m well aware of it,” the Wutaiian said after a moment.

“That’s debatable. I’m pretty sure Reno’s got some blame in this, too,” she replied. “But if you’re feeling so ‘responsible’, why don’t you go do something about it?”

Tseng scowled and turned to her, glaring. “And what would you suggest?” he demanded, angrily. Heidegger outranked even Veld. Tseng was little more than a fly to him. There were plenty of things that he could fix, but this wasn’t one of them.

“Well, for starters, go see that little shit we so lovingly refer to as a Vice President and call in a damn favor. The brat owes you at least one by now. And I read your report from Kalm. He owes Reno, too.”

Tseng blinked in surprise. “Kai… I can’t just –”

“You can, and if you really care about that boy, you will. Beg if you have to.”

He was silent for a moment. He’d never considered asking Rufus for anything before now… It simply wasn’t his place. Rufus’ friendship was hard-earned, and much of that came from the fact that Tseng had never once used the young man’s favor for personal gain. He didn’t want to give him cause to believe that had changed. But if he didn’t…

“When Tres finds them, escort Reno down to medical and have Dr. Ward see to his injuries,” he ordered as he began walking away from her. “Have them officially documented as well.”

“Yes, sir.”

---

Reno flinched at the sound of the soft beep from the door, and prepared himself for the inevitable. The door opened and a pair of figures made their way inside.

“Smart thinking bringin’ him here…” Tres commented, with a nod to Rude. He tossed a bundle of clothes to the redhead, which he dutifully caught. “Get dressed kiddo. Kai here’s gonna take ya downstairs and have the doc check ya out.”

The rookie silently handed Rude back his jacket and started pulling them on.

“… Then what?” Rude asked.

“Then… we wait. Heidegger’s still on the warpath, but Veld’s workin’ on it. No reason to panic just yet.”

“Where’s Tseng?” Reno asked softly. “Is he mad?”

Tres snorted and shook his head. “Worried half to death’s more like it. Not that you’d know it to look at him. He’s… workin’ his own angle on this one. Let’s just get you down to medical and make sure that fat fuck didn’t do any damage, huh? I can tell even from here you’re pretty badly bruised.”

Reno paused in his effort to button his shirt and raised a hand to his neck, gently prodding the abused flesh, and winced when it responded with a dull twinge of pain. He hadn’t even realized he was hurt until now.

Kai reached out and ruffled his hair. “Come on, baby Turkling. We don’t have all day. And the farther away from Heidegger you are right now, the better.”

The redhead nodded and shrugged into his jacket before following her cautiously out into the hallway.

“I’ll make sure we got a clear shot to the elevators,” Tres said, “Rude… hang back so that our asshole department head doesn’t sneak around the back way on us.”

Before he knew it, Kai had bundled him off into the elevator and pressed the button for the ninth floor.

“Hey… It’s gonna be fine. Don’t even worry, okay?” she said as they descended. Reno managed a weak smile… but in the back of his mind he’d already accepted that this was the last visit he was ever going to be paying to Dr. Ward.

~end chapter 44~