Desha's Reno of the Turks Fan Fiction

Chapter 73: Never Cross a Turk

Reno emerged from lockup wearing a baggy, gray, prison-issue jumpsuit two sizes two big for him. His hair was in wild disarray – moreso than usual, that is – and he was barefoot. He somewhat sheepishly padded across the tile floor towards his savior, and Rude rolled his eyes.

“Do I even want to know?”

“Probably not. But I’ll tell ya on the way home anyway.”

The bald rookie snorted softly in laughter and shoved some clean sweats into the redhead’s hands.

“Go get dressed while I finish bailing you out,” he replied, with a shake of his head. Reno disappeared into the nearby men’s room to change while Rude continued filling out the paperwork that would allow him to leave. He glanced up at the desk sergeant. “… Can I ask a favor?”

---

Several minutes later Reno was hopping into Rude’s truck. He pulled the passenger side door shut and buckled himself into the seat before leaning back and closing his eyes for a moment.

“What a night…” he muttered. His friend snorted and started the engine.

“I know I’m going to hate myself for asking, but… what the hell happened?” Rude asked, “Guy at the desk said you were arrested for indecent exposure…”

The redhead groaned. “Yeah… I was kinda naked when picked me up. Not one of my finer moments.”

“Why were you wandering around Midgar naked in the middle of the night?”

“Heh… ’cause I was tryin’ to avoid bein’ shot, that’s why.”

“Come again?” Rude asked, eyebrows rising in somewhat morbid curiosity.

“Tch… I didn’t cum the first time,” the redhead muttered. He folded his arms across his chest. “Ya remember how I told ya a few days ago I was gonna try my luck with Rufus’ secretary?”

“… Yeah…”

“Well… I did. And we went back to her place tonight.”

“And she tried to shoot you?” Rude prodded, clearly confused.

“No… her fiance tried to shoot me,” Reno corrected him. “The fiance she didn’t bother to mention to me before she started takin’ her clothes off. Asshole walked in on us goin’ at it, took a shot or six at me, ‘n I hightailed it the fuck outta there while the two of ’em were arguin’. Ya know… before his aim improved. Seein’ as I was tryin’ not to die at the time, I didn’t bother goin’ back for my clothes. Cops nabbed me about four blocks away from her place.”

Rude pulled to a stop at a red light and looked over at him, incredulously.

“… You’ve got to be making this up.”

“Don’t I wish. Tseng’s gonna be pissed. I didn’t just lose my uniform. I left behind my credentials, my PHS, my keys, my weapons… That’s gonna be a whole lotta fun to explain tomorrow. ‘Specially since I’m pretty sure he almost shot me with my own gun.”

The light changed and Rude went straight, skipping the exit for the freeway back to Sector 3. Reno blinked in confusion.

“Uh… where the hell are we goin’?”

“My place. That guy has keys to your apartment and your wallet. Means he’s also got your address. You’re staying with me tonight just in case.”

“You sure? Your landlord kinda hates me for blowing up two apartments, remember? I get caught stayin’ there ‘n –”

Rude looked over at him again, cocking an eyebrow. “Am I sure I don’t want to wake up and find out you’ve been murdered in your sleep? Yes, I’m very sure.” He smirked slightly. “Besides… Tseng will probably want to kill you himself when you tell him about this. Don’t wanna deprive him.”

“Gee… thanks,” the other rookie snickered. Rude sighed and shook his head, smiling. “What?”

“… Just never knew having a little brother could be such a giant pain in the ass,” he teased.

The redhead grinned. “‘Least when I humiliate you, you can just tell people I’m adopted,” he laughed. He let his gaze drop to his lap for a moment. “… That really how you think of me?”

“As a pain in the ass?” Rude replied, “Absolutely.”

“Yeah, fuck you, too, Rude,” Reno chuckled, “No… as a little brother.”

“It’s not how I think of you,” he answered with a shrug, as they pulled into his apartment complex’s parking lot, “It’s just what you are.”

A small smile spread over Reno’s face.

---

After quick detour home the following morning – both to change into a clean uniform and make sure no one had broken into his apartment in his absence – Reno was back in Rude’s truck, heading for the office, listening to the radio.

“… In other news, Shinra Troops have landed in Wutai and are advancing towards the Wutaiian capitol. Reports of heavy resistance have emerged in the last twelve hours as the Wutaiians fight back against the Shinra military. Rumors that Shinra Company will soon send in members of SOLDIER to assist –”

Reno flipped to a new station and the vehicle filled with the sound of an almost violent drum solo. Rude reached over and switched it again, to a pop music station that was playing an up and coming boy band.

“Ugh… I almost prefer the news,” the redhead said, wrinkling his nose in distaste. Rude shrugged.

“At least they don’t make your ears bleed like that garbage you listen to…”

“Speak for yourself… I can already feel my eardrums tryin’ to shatter themselves just to make the torment stop,” Reno muttered, and his fellow rookie laughed softly. They turned into the Shinra Building’s parking deck, and soon were making their way past security and into the elevator.

“… So,” Reno began, “Whaddya think? Put it off ’til after the mornin’ briefing, or just get it over with soon as I see him?”

“I’d just get it over with,” said Rude, “It’s like ripping off a bandage. The longer you take, the more it hurts.”

“Yeah,” he sighed, “You’re probably right. Gotta tell him sooner or later… Might as well do it sooner ‘n find out how much shit I’m in so I can plan my funeral accordingly.” He glanced over a Rude. “You can have all my stuff after he kills me.”

“Can I get that writing?” Rude chuckled. The redhead flipped him off as they exited the elevator. They separated, Rude heading for their own office, while Reno hesitantly made his way towards Tseng’s. The door was open, and the rookie took a deep breath in an effort to calm himself, slowly releasing it before he knocked lightly on the door frame and drew his mentor’s attention to him.

“Ah… Reno. Good, you’re in early. I need you to to handle a few things for me while I’m upstairs this morning,” the Turk lieutenant greeted him. Reno cringed slightly and slipped into the room.

“Sure… but, uh… I gotta talk to ya ’bout somethin’ first, boss. It’s… kinda important, and you’re not gonna be happy.”

Tseng sighed and leaned forward in his seat. He rested his elbows on the table, steepling his fingers in front of him, and looked pointedly at the redhead.

“What did you do now?”

“Well…” Reno began.

“WHERE IS HE?!” an unfamiliar voice thundered from the hallway. Tseng visibly cringed.

“Please tell me that’s unrelated…” he said, somewhat pleadingly. Reno blinked in surprise and shrugged, shaking his head. For once, he could safely say that he was pretty sure he wasn’t at fault. He didn’t even know who it was that was screaming. “We’ll continue this is a moment. Wait here.”

Tseng quickly stood up and hurried out into the hallway. Reno moved towards the door, peering out. Tseng had only said to wait in his office, after all. He hadn’t mentioned anything about not trying to watch whatever the hell was going down. Veld appeared seconds later, rushing after his second in command to see what the disturbance was all about. Unfortunately, whatever was going on was happening around the corner. Reno couldn’t see anything interesting and all he could hear was slightly muffled demands being made by a very irate woman.

“RENO!”

The redhead jumped violently at the sound of his own name, and the fury with which it had been shouted. It had been Veld’s voice. That certainly didn’t bode well. He cautiously crept out of Tseng’s office and swallowed sharply as he made his way towards the summons.

What the hell could he possibly be in trouble for now? Sure… he’d been arrested last night… but that wouldn’t typically warrant some random person storming into Turk headquarters, apparently out for his blood.

“Y-yes, sir?” he answered, as he hesitantly rounded the corner.

Veld and Tseng both turned to look at him. Neither man looked at all amused. And the woman he’d heard a few moments ago was glaring daggers at him.

‘Oh, crap,’ he thought, as he began wracking his brain, trying to figure out who she was and why she looked like she wanted to snap his neck. She looked oddly familiar… but he couldn’t quite place her. It was then that he saw what she was holding. ‘Oh, crap.’

It was a neatly folded pile of fabric… on top of which rested a pair of shoes, a wallet, a set of keys, a PHS, an EMR, and a handgun.

“You,” the woman hissed at him, and the icy tone of her voice was cold enough to make the rookie physically shudder. “I hope you’re happy. My daughter’s fiance has called off the wedding thanks to you!”

Reno paled. That was why she looked so familiar. The woman was virtually identical to Carrie… just… 20 years or so older, and significantly more muscular. Though that begged the question… how in the fuck had she gotten into Turk headquarters.

“Director Faine –” Veld began… and Reno’s eyes went wide as he felt his stomach drop.

Faine slammed the rookie’s possessions into Reno’s gut so hard it drove the air from his lungs and sent him staggering back several steps.

“If I ever catch you near my daughter again, I will personally castrate you,” she growled, and then turned to Veld, “And you can consider the Turks permanently shitlisted!”

With that, the director turned on her heel and stormed back to the elevators, leaving Reno in the crosshairs of two very displeased senior Turks.

“Both of you. My office. Now!” Veld demanded, and stomped off. Tseng’s hand shot out and seized hold of the rookie’s ear, and Reno had little choice but to passively follow as his mentor dragged him along behind the Turk leader. He didn’t release him until Reno was standing in front of Veld’s desk.

“Before I decide what to do with you, I want to hear your side of the story,” Veld stated, in no uncertain terms, “Right now.”

“Was this what you came to tell me about this morning?” Tseng asked.

“Uh… kinda, yeah,” Reno replied, rubbing at his recently abused ear. Tseng scowled in exasperation. “But I swear, I didn’t know Faine was involved in any of this! I’da told you right away if I had.”

“Start at the beginning,” Veld commanded.

“I… had a date last night. With Rufus’ secretary,” the redhead replied, and Tseng roughly pinched the bridge of his nose, shaking his head. “Things were… ya know… goin’ good, ‘n… then the fiance showed up. He didn’t exactly like the idea of me sleepin’ with his future wife. Which, just for the record, she didn’t tell me about! She never said anything ’bout her gettin’ married, ‘n she wasn’t wearin’ a ring or anything.”

Veld’s eyebrow rose accusingly.

“If you were so unaware of the situation, why were you planning to inform Tseng of it before Director Faine arrived?”

“… Um… ’cause I kinda left all my stuff at her place when the guy chased me out… ‘n also ’cause I kinda got arrested, ’cause I was two sectors away from home, with no clothes and no ID, and the cops didn’t seem to like me walkin’ around town like that so much.”

“Reno… for Leviathan’s sake…” Tseng sighed, shaking his head. “How can someone so intelligent behave so… idiotically?”

The rookie dropped his gaze and swallowed the lump that had suddenly formed in his throat. The words positively oozed of frustrated disappointment. He had a feeling it was going to take a lot to get off of Tseng’s shitlist. Maybe not as much as getting off of Faine’s… but still…

“Sorry, sir…”

He’d been doing so well. He hadn’t had any major bouts of stupidity in ages. Well… maybe sleeping with Remy hadn’t been one of his better decisions, but Tseng didn’t know about that. No one did. And no one would because he’d promised to keep his mouth shut for Remy’s sake. But aside from that, he’d really believed that he’d improved a lot. Apparently not as much as he’d thought.

“Rodney will take over as Rufus’ escort,” Veld decreed, still looking less than amused, “Because Titan help us if Faine finds out you were still assigned to the same office as her daughter after that.”

“Yes, sir,” Reno said, quietly. Rodney… great. He’d never hear the end of having to give up his assignment to that asshole.

“And you’re on desk duty for the the day. Remy is needed elsewhere, so Tseng has plenty to keep you occupied. You are not to leave our offices. Period. If you need something delivered elsewhere in the building, find someone to handle it for you. If the building burns down… you’ll just have to burn with it. You’re sidelined until I’ve decided you can be trusted not to embarrass the entire team. Am I clear?”

“Crystal, sir,” the rookie groaned.

“And I hope you realize that by creating tension between the Turks and the Director of SOLDIER, you’ve made Tseng’s assignment considerably more difficult than it already was.”

The redhead looked a guiltily at his mentor, before dropping his gaze to the floor again. Great. What else could he screw up today?

“Yes, sir…”

“Return to your office. You’re banned from this morning’s briefing. Go,” Veld said, pointing to the door. The rookie scurried out, his formerly missing belongings clutched tightly to his chest. Halfway back to his own office, Tseng caught up to him.

“I’m sorry,” he said, hurriedly, “I’m really, really sorry…”

“Calm down,” Tseng replied. He sighed softly, “I’m not looking forward to my final meeting with the SOLDIER division this morning, but… I’m also not prepared to lay all of the blame on you for what is largely a case of truly terrible luck. Why didn’t you call me last night? I assume you needed someone to bail you out…”

“… It was late ‘n Rude was closer,” the redhead replied, shifting the bundle of clothes to one arm and snapping his EMR into its holster on his belt. “And… ya know. You’re still dealin’ with shit. I didn’t wanna add to it.”

He moved to put his gun away as well, only to have his mentor catch him by the wrist. Tseng inhaled deeply.

“This has been fired recently…”

“Uh… y-yeah. Ya remember how I said the pissed off fiance chased me out? He kinda did it with my gun. And about six bullets aimed in my general direction.”

Tseng’s face darkened. “I see… Were you injured at all?”

“Just my pride,” Reno replied, embarrassed. “Guy had shit aim… ‘n then the gun jammed on him. I took the opportunity to run like hell before he could figure out how to unjam it.”

His mentor nodded. “I’ll bring you a list of things I need you to tend to after the briefing. Until then, I suggest you stay in either your office or the lounge… and out of Veld’s line of sight for awhile.”

“Yes, sir.” He slipped around the corner, making a beeline for his office, and almost ran headlong into Rude in the process.

“What was all the yelling about?” his fellow rookie asked.

“Ugh… As the icing on the fucked up cake, turns out my date was Director Faine’s kid. If I suddenly go missing… it was either her, or Veld,” he replied with a groan, “Do me a favor, will ya pal? Find some way to make me think twice before I do anything stupid ever again.”

Rude smirked and ushered him towards the lounge, pushing the door open.

“I have just the thing…” he chuckled as they were greeted by a chorus of quiet snickering. The lounge was surprisingly busy considering it was nearly time for the morning briefing. Both Cissnei and Rodney were there, as were Tres, Shay, and Kai. All five of them were conversing in hushed tones with the occasional laugh interjected at regular intervals. They looked up as the new arrivals entered the room.

“Quite the wall of infamy,” Rodney laughed. Reno raised his eyes to the wall and groaned.

“Seriously, Rude?” he muttered. A lineup of photos had been taped up neatly above the coffee maker. Mugshots. His mugshots. They started with his very first arrest – less than a week on the Plate – and continued in sequence all the way up to last night’s.

“You did ask for something that would make you think twice before doing anything stupid…” his friend innocently replied.

---

It had been another long day. Director Faine had been icy towards him for the duration of their briefing, but thankfully, it had ended shortly before lunch. SOLDIER was shipping out, and she had come dangerously close to forcibly evicting him from their headquarters once he’d covered the day’s topics. Tseng had been only too happy to leave.

He had returned, food in hand, to his apologetic rookie and ensured that he was fed and had enough to occupy him for the remainder of the day, before sitting down with Veld to discuss what to do about the situation with the Director. Ultimately, they had decided to leave things be. They had little direct interaction with the division to begin with – aside from sharing a few training facilities – and hopefully, with time, the grudge would simply cool on its own.

Before he’d left for the day, he’d also paid a brief visit to Tres.

The results of the inquiry he’d made were now sitting before him, wrists shackled to the arms of a chair, head lolling slightly as the potent sedative his captive had been hit with began to wear off. It was several minutes before the man in the chair managed to raise his head to look at the Turk. And several more still before he had any understanding of his present situation.

Tseng could pinpoint the precise moment that realization set in – pupils dilated, face suddenly pale, desperate efforts to move followed by a sharp intake of breath through the nose as he realized he couldn’t. Pure, unadulterated fear. It was something Tseng was intimately familiar with and he could spot it a mile away.

He savored it for a moment before breaking his silence.

“You’re probably wondering why you’re here,” the Turk calmly stated. He picked up a folder from the table beside him and flipped it open. “Edward ‘Ned’ Ferris. Age, twenty-three. Occupation, concierge for the Silver Swan hotel. Marital status, single, engaged.” He glanced up from the file. “Though, I understand the wedding is now off.”

A muffled response emanated from behind the duct tape that covered the man’s mouth.

“There’s no need to explain. I’m well aware of what happened,” he replied, setting the folder aside again, and standing up. He slowly covered the short distance between them, and rested a hand on his prisoner’s shoulder. “I have to wonder, though… what would you have done if one of those shots you fired had actually hit its target? Would you have shown mercy? Or would you have finished the job in a blind rage?”

“Mmm… Mmm!” the man insisted. Tseng leaned down until his face was barely an inch away from his captive.

“I’m sure you think you would be merciful. Most people would prefer to think that. But anything can happen in the heat of the moment. Would you have killed him? I can’t honestly say,” he continued, “Perhaps not.”

“Mmmph!”

Tseng stood up again. “It’s unwise to threaten a Turk, much less openly attack one. It’s even more foolish to do so to a rookie Turk. We tend to be a bit protective of them.” He leveled his gaze at the man, looking directly into his eyes. “Especially my rookie.”

The prisoner went white, eyes wide as saucers. There was a faint trickling sound as a large wet spot spread across the crotch of his pants and a small puddle began to form on the floor. Tseng smiled slightly.

“The question now is do you still represent a danger to him?” the Turk asked. The man vehemently shook his head, and Tseng raised a questioning eyebrow. “No? Are you sure? After all, he did seduce the woman you intended to marry. Most men would have great difficultly letting something like that go…”

The man shook his head again.

“Mmm! Mmmm!”

“Do you remember a moment ago when I said that most people prefer to believe they would show mercy?” Tseng asked, his tone dangerously calm, and the man hesitantly nodded. “I personally don’t have the luxury of believing that about myself. Turks are trained not to show mercy in the heat of the moment.” He smiled again. “You are extremely fortunate that you do not present an immediate threat to me right now. If you did, we wouldn’t be having this pleasant conversation.”

“Mmm… Mmph mmm mmmm!:

“… But that begs the question…” Tseng went on, ignoring the plea as he leveled a gun at the man’s head, “As I do have a choice right now… do I show mercy? Or do I finish the job?”

“Mmmmmmph…” the man whimpered, squeezing his eyes tightly shut.

~end chapter 73~