Chapter 71: The Birthday Party
By the time Rufus finally emerged from the private dining room, Reno was half convinced that if he had to watch one more Ifrit-be-damned plate of food walk past him, he was going to lose his mind. He was starving. He’d been fine when they’re arrived, but after almost two and a half hours of seeing dish after dish – each one more enticing than the last – drift past him, carried by sharply dressed waiters, either through the doors he was stuck guarding or out to the main dining room, he was ready to just grab one and make a run for it.
And when Rufus did emerge, he greeted the pair with little more than snap of the fingers. The redhead glared at his back as the man strode towards the exit, but wisely chose to swallow what he’d been about to say. Telling the vice president of Shinra Company off while alone in an elevator or on the firing range was one thing. Doing it in public was liable to get him into much deeper shit than he wanted to risk being in.
Remy, too, seemed slightly annoyed by the snobbish ‘order’ to follow him, but also remained silent, wordlessly following the young executive out into the lobby to wait for the car to be brought around by their driver. In fact, no one said a word until they were safely sequestered in the back of the limo.
“Well,” Rufus snorted contemptuously, “That was a blatant waste of my time.”
He was looking pointedly at the pair of Turks, as if demanding a response from one of them. Remy was the first to acquiesce.
“I… take it things didn’t go as planned, sir?” she ventured.
“Oh, it went as planned, all right,” he sneered in response. “Father knows I can’t stand that idiot or that insufferable moron he calls a son. If they didn’t own the land we built the Gongaga reactor on, I wouldn’t so much as give them the time of day. This whole charade was just his way of punishing me for leaving the manor without his explicit permission last night.”
Reno couldn’t stop the snicker that escaped that that declaration, and Rufus narrowed his eyes at the rookie.
“One word out of you and I’ll see to it that you spend next week as Heidegger’s personal escort to Junon instead of whomever your commander has assigned…” he replied with a noticeably nasty smirk, “We’ll see if you even return.”
Reno eyed him for a moment, and then wordlessly shrugged and leaned back in his seat. He had a sneaking feeling it was an empty threat. The more time he spent with Rufus, the easier it was getting to understand him. Aside from the fact that Rufus had to know that neither Tseng nor Veld would ever allow a rookie to act as the lone security detail for an executive board member… Reno was pretty sure the brat was just pissed about his own punishment and taking out his frustration on the most convenient target. As long as it didn’t get him into actual trouble – or interfere with his party tonight – he unexpectedly realized that he really didn’t give a shit if the brat want to use him to vent a little.
Remy, on the other hand, looked vaguely horrified and on the verge of telling Reno off for being so disrespectful to an executive. Rufus, however, didn’t give her the opportunity.
“And as for you,” he continued, directing his gaze at the senior Turk, “Inform Veld at your earliest convenience that I do not appreciate being treated like a child and the next time he decides not to honor my request for specific personnel for no other reason than spite, he will regret it.”
Reno very much wanted to voice his opinion that, if Rufus didn’t want to be treated like a child, then maybe he ought to stop acting like one… but he’d already been warned once, and even if the vice president was unlikely to make good on his earlier threat, Remy would almost certainly end up giving him an earful if he went out of his way to provoke him.
And besides which… as much as he hated to admit it, he was kind of on the brat’s side for once. Rufus hadn’t run off on a whim last night. Sure… it was kind of stupid to go out alone, but all he’d really wanted was to see Tseng. Reno probably would have done the same thing if he’d been in the vice president’s shoes. And it’s not like he went out of his way to put himself in danger… He’d literally shown up on a Turk’s doorstep, for fuck’s sake. The redhead was starting to realize that, in spite of his wealth and position and education… Rufus really didn’t have much freedom. That had to kind of suck sometimes.
“Yes, sir… I’ll see to it that he receives the message,” the senior Turk replied.
When they at last arrived back at the Shinra Building, the two Turks parted ways with the less-than-personable Shinra heir, returning to headquarters while Rufus continued on to the executive offices upstairs. And soon thoughts of Rufus’ sheltered life were banished in favor of last minute plans for his party.
Rude had given him a ride home from work, and was soon busying himself – and grumbling about the meager facilities – in Reno’s tiny kitchenette while the redhead scurried around, picking up the worst of his neglected mess from the past week. He could already smell the tantalizing aroma of his cake baking. That, combined with sheer excitement, had him longing for the others to get there soon so he could finally enjoy it.
“… You sure you want chocolate frosting, too?” Rude asked. Reno grinned widely.
“Hell yeah…”
“… It’s already got chunks of milk chocolate inside of a chocolate cake. You really want more on top? That’s… going to be very sweet.”
“Rude, there’s no such thing as too sweet in my book.”
The other rookie laughed softly and shook his head. “I should probably frost it with insulin instead, as much sugar is in this thing,” he snickered, “I’m not sure death by chocolate would be as fun as it sounds.”
“I could think of worse ways to go…” the redhead shot back, still grinning.
“Your funeral,” Rude snorted.
Reno laughed and shoved his discarded jacket into the closet. “Need any help?”
“Not really. Can’t do much more until it finishes baking.”
“… ‘kay. I’m gonna go get some ice for drinks ‘n shit, then.”
“Taken care of. I asked Kai to grab some on her way over,” Rude replied. “Just sit down and relax. It’s your birthday.”
“Technically, my birthday was yesterday,” the redhead snickered as he settled himself on the couch. A moment later, he twisted around to look at his friend over the back. “Hey… thanks for doin’ this for me.”
The other rookie glanced over his shoulder at him. “Not like a cake is that difficult. And you took care of dinner.”
“Tch… I ordered pizza. Real hard. ‘Sides… the cake’s the most important part. ‘Specially since I’ve never really had a birthday cake before.”
There was a loud clatter from the kitchen as Rude dropped the spoon he’d just retrieved from one of the drawers. He eyed the the birthday boy with no small amount of surprise.
“What are you talking about?”
“Never had one. Like a real one that someone made for me, I mean. ‘Least not that I can remember. I dunno if my mom ever made me one when I was little or not, and the assholes at the orphanage never gave a shit about birthdays. Lira’s about a good a cook as I am… and last year Tseng took me to the Gold Saucer instead of havin’ a party, so… yeah. This’ll be the first, far as I know.” Reno laughed softly, “Actually… kinda the first birthday party I’ve had, too. I mean… I kinda remember my fifth birthday with Mom. We spent the whole day at this little park ’cause I fuckin’ loved the swings there. Other than that… hell, some years even I forgot about my birthday.”
“… Next year we’re not just doing last minute pizza and cake,” Rude stated, decisively.
“But I like pizza and cake,” the redhead replied, grinning happily. His friend laughed softly, shaking his head and retrieved the spoon from the floor, tossing it into the sink. He made his way over to the other rookie and smirked before grabbing him and putting him in a headlock.
“If I say that next year we’re having a real party for you, then next year we’re having real party for you,” he teased as the smaller teen tried to squirm his way loose.
“Alright, already!” Reno laughed, “Geez… let go of me! Fine, we’ll have a ‘real’ party next year.”
Rude released his prisoner, snickering, only to pull him back in a second later, this time for a hug.
Hearing him say that… as if it was no big deal… had quite literally taken Rude’s breath away for a moment. He’d already known that Reno’d had a fairly shitastic and thoroughly neglected childhood, and it had still somehow caught him off-guard. How in the nine hells did a person make it to eighteen without ever really celebrating their own birthday like just about every other kid on the planet? Even once?
His own birthdays past were all generally happy memories… at least up until his mother’s accident. It was hard to imagine that his friend had had none of that growing up. Not even something a simple as a cake. Rude silently vowed to make sure that never happened again.
He vaguely wondered if Tseng knew about this. He knew that the Turk lieutenant had researched his choice of a protege in agonizing detail before he’d actually recruited him. Rude had even helped with some of it… but it wasn’t as if anyone kept records of how many birthday parties a person had had in their life. Hell, down in some parts of the slums, you were lucky if your birth even got recorded anywhere. Rude knew for a fact that Reno didn’t have a birth certificate. The only reason anyone even knew when his birthday was at all had been because the orphanage he’d lived in had it on file… though he wasn’t entirely certain where they’d gotten the information from. Possibly from Reno himself when he was brought in.
He also knew that the redhead wasn’t especially forthcoming about the details of his younger years… so it was entirely possible – likely, even – that Tseng had no idea, either.
A part of him wanted to ask his friend all about it. He wanted to understand what Reno had been through before they’d come into one another’s lives. But he didn’t want to force the issue… especially not today. It had to be painful. If it weren’t, the redhead wouldn’t shy away from talking about it so much.
“Tch… you gonna let go of me ‘n finish my cake, or are you just gonna do this all night?” Reno’s voice suddenly interjected, teasingly, and Rude suddenly realized that he was still holding his friend tightly against him. He forced himself to let go, and a moment later, grinned and ruffled the redhead’s hair.
“One chocolate-flavored sugar coma… coming up,” he snickered.
“I swear ta Titan, that man is gettin’ ta be impossible ta live with,” Saya sighed as she climbed into Remy’s car, “Thanks fer pickin’ me up. The last thing I wanna do right now is ride with Sato.”
Apparently the pair had had a rather spectacular fight when they’d arrived home after work… and discovered that one of Sato’s ‘projects’ had melted a six inch wide hole in the solid granite kitchen countertop… and set off the building’s smoke alarms, prompting an evacuation and the arrival of the fire department. Saya had called her a short while ago, all but begging her to give her a ride to Reno’s party before she clobbered her cousin into next week.
“Getting impossible to live with? Frankly, I don’t know how you’ve been able to stand it for so long,” she replied.
“Because he’s kin… We grew up tagether, close as any siblings, and I love the bloody maniac. But lately…” Saya shook her head and sighed, “He’s gettin’ more ‘n more reckless. I know yeh’ve noticed it, too. I keep tellin’ him if he dinnae tone it down, I’m findin’ a place of my own, but… there’s a part of me that’s honestly a wee bit scared what might happen ta him if I leave him ta his own devices fer too long.”
“Have you brought any of these concerns up with Veld?”
“Aye… a bit ago. We had a long talk with him… ‘n then the idiot went ‘n built that Hades-be-damned thing fer Reno ‘n got him kicked outta whatever was left o’ his apartment after it went off, so… it obviously didnae do much good.” She sighed again. “I know I’ve joked about it in the past, but I’m startin’ ta wonder if he really does need ta be dragged in fer a psych eval.”
“Maybe you should suggest that to Tseng on Monday?”
“… I just dunno. I feel like it’d be betrayin’ him in a way. Sato’s been called crazy all his life. I’m about the only one who’s ever stuck up fer him, ‘n even I think he’s a bit nuts. But I’ve still always stuck up fer him.”
“Do you want me to do it?” Remy offered. “I can keep your name out of it. Like you said… I’ve noticed how reckless he’s been lately, too, and Sato know exactly what I think of him.”
Saya smiled slightly. “I’d be grateful fer that. Thank yeh, Remy.” She went silent for a few moments before chuckling softly. “But enough about my lunatic cousin. Tanight’s supposed ta be about Reno. Let’s not ruin his party worryin’ about Turks business ‘n idiot family members. We all need a break. Especially yeh.”
Remy glanced away from the road briefly. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
The other Turk laughed softly. “Just that yeh’ve been stressed beyond belief since Tseng took off, tryin’ ta figure his job out, ‘n then just when yer finally startin’ ta get a handle on it, a war goes ‘n breaks out. Yeh need a night out ‘n a good, stiff drink or three.”
Remy cringed slightly at the memory of her last ‘night out and a good, stiff drink or three’. It hadn’t exactly ended the way she’d planned and she was still dealing with the fallout. And it certainly hadn’t lessened her stress level.
“… What’s wrong, darlin’? Somethin’ I said?” Saya suddenly asked. Remy mentally groaned. It was getting harder and harder to handle this… and apparently harder and harder to hide it. Keeping it a secret was slowly eating her alive.
“Please promise me you won’t tell anyone else,” she breathed, as she stopped at a red light. “I… I need to tell someone, but…”
“I won’t breath a word. Now, what’s got yeh so bent outta shape?” her passenger asked, concerned.
“I… slept with Reno.”
Saya said nothing for a moment, and when Remy ventured to glance over at her again, she was staring at her with a look that plainly said the woman couldn’t decide if she’d heard her correctly or not.
“It just… I… I wasn’t planning on it. It just sort of… happened,” she quickly added. The light finally changed, and she hit the gas, driving through the intersection. “I went out for a drink to try and relax, and he was at the bar and we started talking, and one drink turned into three, and then six, and then the next thing I knew we were…” She tailed off, shaking her head. “I can barely even look at him without feeling guilty about it. I literally took advantage of a drunk seventeen year old boy who went out of his way to try and cheer me up when I felt like I was failing miserably at my job. And what makes it even worse is that I’m the one who was supposed to look out for his best interests. I promised Tseng I’d take care of him while he was gone. Dear Leviathan, what kind of person does something likethat?”
“… And I thought I had problems,” Saya finally said, and Remy groaned out loud in response. “Well… what’s done is done, I suppose. How’s he handlin’ it?”
“Oh, it doesn’t seem to bother him at all,” Remy replied, somewhat ruefully, “He’s more upset that I’ve been acting so distant around him since it happened. But I can’t help it! I just feel so… ashamed… for doing that to him. For using him like that.”
The pair fell silent for several minutes as Remy drove them through town towards the redhead’s apartment. For awhile, she was half convinced that Saya was just as disgusted with her behavior as she was. At last the Mideelian Turk broke the silence.
“Well… the way I see it, yeh’ve got two options. Yeh can either walk up ta Tseng ‘n confess that yeh betrayed his trust ‘n crossed one hell of a line with the wee rookie ‘n see how he wants ta handle it… Or yeh can ask Reno what he wants yeh ta do ‘n then damn well do whatever he asks of yeh,” she said. “One might go a ways toward helpin’ with that guilty conscience of yers. The other may or may not make yeh feel less guilty, but it’d certainly be the honorable thing ta do.”
Remy turned down a side street into Sector 3. Saya was right. It wasn’t fair to Reno to keep him at arm’s length the way she’d been for the past week or so. Besides the fact that, as he’d mentioned to her earlier in the day, the others would eventually start to notice… she’d gotten the impression that he was more than a little hurt by her change in behavior.
Reno was a bit like Kai. For both of them, the Turks were their family. Their only family. She very vividly remembered the weeks that Kai and Tseng had been at one another’s throats after the death of one of their own; an incredibly talented young Turk by the name of Alissa… whom Kai had been very much in love with. Her death had been a direct result of one of Tseng’s orders and Remy remembered how heartbroken and betrayed Kai had felt in the days and weeks following… both over the loss of her lover, and over what she was certain was the end of a close friendship, as well. She and Tseng had eventually reconciled… but the damage had been done. Their friendship had never been quite the same after that. Remy didn’t want that to let that happen between Reno and herself.
As they at last pulled into the parking lot of Reno’s building, Saya folded her arms over her chest and looked pointedly at her fellow Turk.
“Whatever yeh decide ta do, though… yeh’d best not hurt that sweet thing, or yeh’ll be dealin’ with me. And mama bear’s got teeth.”
Reno was all smiles as he opened the door and ushered Tseng inside… and then remained there, propping the door open when he spotted Shay emerging from the elevator down the hall. The younger Turk presented him with a large, wrapped box as he arrived.
“Happy birthday!”
“Heh… thanks! But I told you guys yesterday that ya didn’t have to get me anything…”
“Don’t be ridiculous. Presents are what birthday parties are for,” Shay proclaimed and slipped past him, into the apartment.
“While I wouldn’t say they’re the entire purpose of celebrating… it is tradition, after all,” Tseng chuckled as the redhead turned around and set the gift down on a small side table. Reno was surprised to find his mentor holding out a much smaller box, wrapped neatly in dark blue paper.
“Tch… you definitely didn’t need to get me anything. Havin’ you back in Midgar’s plenty.”
“But I did, and so it’s much too late to complain about it,” the Turk lieutenant teased, “Veld has, unfortunately, been pulled into an after hours meeting along with the director of SOLDIER and probably won’t be able to make it… but he did ask me to give you his regards.”
“Party time!” a pair of voices suddenly squealed from the still-open door. It was followed immediately by twin popping sounds, and Reno found himself showered in tiny streamers. Kai and Cissnei giggled at his surprised expression as they let themselves in. Kai handed off the promised bag of ice to Rude and then proceeded to pull a cone-shaped party had from her bag and plop it on the birthday boy’s head.
“My baby Turkling… all grown up,” she said with a dramatic sigh. Reno rolled his eyes.
“If I’m so ‘grown up’ are you gonna finally quit callin’ me that?”
“Yeah… no,” Kai grinned, before walking over to the couch and making herself comfortable. Cissnei giggled and hugged the redhead.
“Happy birthday, Reno,” she said, smiling widely.
The redhead grinned back at her, and shut the door, before grabbing his gifts and carrying them into the living room.
“Can I open ’em now?” he asked. Kai smacked him lightly in the back of the head.
“You’re supposed to wait until all the guests have arrived and the cake has been served… which means after dinner.”
Cissnei and Rude both laughed at the horrified look that came over Reno’s face upon hearing the senior Turk’s dire pronouncement. Tseng, however, was quick to intervene.
“It’s your birthday. You may open them whenever you wish.”
“Oh, thank Ifrit…” the redhead breathed, reaching for the one from Shay. As he was tearing into the paper, Rude moved to answer yet another knock at the door. A moment later Saya and Remy joined the little gathering. Reno paused and glanced up at the new arrivals.
“Hey, guys! Where’s Sato?”
“Hmph… Assumin’ he hasn’t blown himself ta kingdom come yet cleanin’ up the mess he created in my kitchen, he’ll be along shortly,” Saya assured him. She glanced around the room. “Who else’re we still missin’?”
“Luca, Tres, and Rodney,” Tseng supplied. “Veld never made it out of headquarters, I’m afraid. We were both nearly cornered by Heidegger just as we reached the elevators. He sacrificed himself so that I could escape.”
“Poor thing. A noble sacrifice if ever there was one,” Saya laughed. Reno, meanwhile, had turned his attention back on the gift in front of him and opened the box to find a bottled containing a deceptively innocent teal-colored liquid. Rude groaned faintly.
“Keep that away from me,” he said, recognizing it immediately. Reno snickered and set the pricey absinthe on the coffee table.
“Heh… more for me, then,” he snickered, “Thanks, Shay!”
He reached for Tseng’s gift next, pulling off the wrapping to reveal a small case.
“Someone’s been shopping on the expensive side of town,” Kai commented, as soon as she noticed the logo embossed on the top. Reno lifted the lid and removed the sleek wristwatch from its confines.
“There are some items that are worth paying a bit more for the quality. Given what we tend to get up to, I wanted to be sure it had at least a chance of survivingmore than a few weeks on the job.”
The redhead grinned and slipped it on his wrist, admiring it for a moment or two. He had no trouble recognizing it… it was the same model Tseng wore, though in dark gray and silver rather than jet black and gold like his mentor’s.
“Pizza’s here,” Rude suddenly called from the doorway… and it seemed that the missing guests had come with it, as well.
The next couple of hours consisted of pizza and more people wishing him a happy birthday, as well as a handful of additional gifts in spite of Reno having made it clear to everyone that it wasn’t strictly necessary. It was actually a little weird for him, getting so much stuff all at once. Enjoyable… but weird. Kind of how Christmas had been.
And of course there was cake.
Rude had gone all out while the redhead been distracted by his other guests. Four layers of chocolate cake, each one full-on impregnated with over-sized chocolate chips that had turned into little oozing pools of deliciousness in the oven. In between each layer was an obscene amount of gooey chocolate fudge, and the whole thing was enveloped in a thick shell of creamy chocolate mousse… which had been further decorated with bits of shaved dark and milk chocolate on top.
“Holy fucking hell, kid…” Tres laughed when it was presented to their host, “You wishin’ him a happy birthday or tryin’ to give us all diabetes?”
Rude only snickered and lit the candles in response, which lead to a chorus of Happy Birthday… sung slightly off-key, thanks largely to Sato and Luca. Reno was fairly well convinced that Luca just couldn’t carry a tune to save his life… but he was pretty sure Sato’s performance was mostly intentional. He just laughed and blew out the candles.
“A small piece for me, please,” Tseng cautioned Rude as he moved in to cut wedges out of the dessert.
“And for me,” Remy added, “Delicious as it looks, I think I’ve gained three pounds just being this close to it.”
“You can just add the rest of theirs onto mine,” Reno piped up, grinning widely.
By midnight or so, most of the party goers had filtered out, leaving only a few stragglers remaining in Reno’s apartment. Rude stretched slightly. It had been a long day, and he was obviously starting to feel the lateness of the hour. Reno smirked from his reclined position on the couch and nudged him with his foot.
“Ya don’t have to stick around all night on my account,” he snickered. “‘Course if ya want crash here, that’s fine by me…”
“Though if you do, I suspect breakfast will consist of more pizza and cake,” Tseng commented.
“Nah… just pizza. I finished off what was left of the cake two hours ago,” the redhead replied, grinning.
“Hmph… In that case, I’m out of here,” Rude said, teasingly. “See ya tomorrow?”
“Long as Wutai doesn’t decide pull some shit that gets us called into work all weekend…”
Rude snorted softly in laughter and ruffled his friend’s hair before heading out the door. Tseng leaned back in the chair he’d taken over a short while ago. He glanced over at Remy.
“I suppose we should leave, as well, so the birthday boy can finally go to bed,” he said, before turning his gaze on his protege, “Unless you’d like some help cleaning up first?”
“Tch… I’m not even touching this mess ’til sometime tomorrow afternoon,” the redhead replied, grinning. He sat up and stretched his arms over his head until his left shoulder cracked. Tseng flinched at the sound.
“Are you quite sure that’s not painful? It’s been doing that for months now. That injury should have long since been healed,” he opined, “Perhaps we should visit –”
“It’s fine. It doesn’t hurt at all, and I definitely don’t need an extra visit to the doc just so she can tell me there’s nothin’ she can do about it.”
Remy snickered quietly. “Something tells me you’re more concerned that she might be able to do something, and you would simply prefer to avoid more surgery.”
The redhead shrugged noncommittally. “It’s not hurtin’ anything. Why fix what’s not broken?”
Tseng sighed in defeat and shook his head. “Well… If it doesn’t interfere with your training, I suppose I really have no say in the matter. My guardianship of you expired the moment you turned eighteen. If you prefer it this way, it’s your choice.”
The rookie blinked in surprise. For some reason, that thought hadn’t yet occurred to him. He was legally an adult now, and that meant that his last legitimate dependence upon his mentor was gone… and the idea was more than a little terrifying. Even though he’d known this was coming, a part of him felt like it wasn’t something he was ready to let go of yet.
Something must have changed rather dramatically in his expression, because Tseng suddenly chuckled.
“Just because you no longer need a guardian, don’t expect to be rid of me quite yet. You may be an adult, but you’re still a rookie,” he said, at last standing up. “And on that note, I think it’s time I headed home. Goodnight, Reno.”
“‘Night…” Reno replied, scrambling to his feet to accompany him to the door, “Seriously, boss… I’m really glad you’re back.”
“So you’ve already mentioned. Several times, now, in fact,” his mentor laughed. He smiled warmly. “Happy birthday.”
With that, he let himself out of the apartment, heading for home. Reno shut the door behind him.
“I… suppose I should get going as well,” said Remy. The rookie snapped the lock on the door shut and turned to face her, crossing his arms stubbornly over his chest.
“Oh, no you don’t. You promised me we’d talk after the party.”
“… I did say that… didn’t I…” she sighed. Reno crossed the room and resumed his seat on the couch, looking up at her expectantly. Remy shook her head and took up the seat Tseng had just vacated. “I… don’t know quite where to start,” she confessed.
“How about startin’ with explainin’ to me why you’re makin’ such a big deal out of this? So we ended up in bed together. So what? I told ya I wasn’t gonna say anything, ‘n I’m not. I swear I’m not. You don’t have to worry about anyone findin’ out.”
“Oh, Reno…” Remy breathed. “I know. That’s not why I’ve been avoiding you.”
“Then… why?” he asked, mystified. He’d just assumed that she was worried about ending up being the butt of office jokes for awhile… and maybe getting reamed out by Veld. Or Tseng. If that wasn’t the problem, he was kind of at a loss.
Remy closed her eyes and slowly exhaled a long breath.
“I’m just… so… ashamed of what I did. I’ve had a hard time facing you.”
“… Oh,” he said softly. That wasn’t quite the answer he’d been expecting. He supposed he could understand. Remy was one of the most respected members of the team… and he… well, frankly, he was little manwhore and not shy about admitting it. Usually, though, the women he hooked up with were fine with that… They weren’t interested in dating him, for fuck’s sake. They just wanted a quick fuck as much as he did. He probably should have realized a bit sooner that Remy wasn’t the type of woman he usually took to bed. “I’m sorry,” he said, looking away from her, “I know… I’m kind of a slut.”
“I… what? No! No, that’s… that’s absolutely not what I meant,” Remy hurriedly replied, shaking her head in denial. The redhead looked up again, blinking in confusion, as the senior Turk scrubbed her hands over her face. “Reno… I’m not ashamed of you. I’m ashamed of myself for… well… frankly, for what essentially amounts to statutory rape!”
“… Uh… ya wanna run that one by me again?” was all Reno could think to say in response.
“You were seventeen.”
“Tch… yeah, so? And point of fact, I was less than a week away from turnin’ eighteen, so what the hell kinda difference does that make? Not like I magically got more grown up or somethin’ in the last few days.”
“And you were drunk,” she added.
“So were you,” he shot back, annoyed at her persistence.
“That… really just makes it a whole lot worse, Reno.”
“I’m not some kid, Remy. Quit treatin’ me like one,” he insisted, frowning, “Look, I get that it probably shouldn’t’ve happened ’cause you’re my superior, and that’s crossin’ a line that’s probably better off not gettin’ crossed. But don’t fuckin’ treat me like I’m some kinda victim here. I knew what I was doin’, and I wanted to do it. And for the record, I fuckin’ liked it, too.”
“Reno, it’s just not that simple…”
“No, it’s exactly that simple. You don’t get to tell me how I feel… ’cause ya know what? I know real victims. I’ve sat holdin’ one of my best friend’s while she was cryin’ and shakin’ in terror after some slum rat gangster wannabe held her down and did whatever the fuck he wanted to in her own home while her asshole neighbors just ignored her screamin’ for help!” He was shouting now, and he didn’t care. “I had to look her in the eye ‘n swear to her I’d be right back, while she was bleedin’ and beggin’ me not to leave her to go get a doc, ’cause she was too scared to go outside! And you wanna sit there tell me I should be traumatized or some shit ’cause I got drunk and ended up havin’ a good time with my boss? No! I’m not gonna let anyone trivialize shit like that.”
He wiped the back of his hand across his eyes, not sure if the tears were from his sudden anger at Remy, or merely from the memory of finding Lira like that, still petrified hours after it had happened. He swallowed thickly and pulled in a deep breath, forcing himself to calm down before shakily exhaling. Remy was simply staring at him, apparently having been shocked into silence.
“… Look,” he said after composing himself, “I know I do stupid shit sometimes ‘n act like an idiot, ‘n maybe that makes people think I’m… ya know… kind of immature. But I grew up havin’ to take care of myself. I’m not some stupid kid that doesn’t understand adult bullshit. So… don’t act like you know better just ’cause you’re a little bit older than me.”
“… Reno,” Remy began, only to apparently rethink what she was about to say. After a few moments of silence, she got up and joined him on the couch and gently hugged him. “I’m sorry. Sometimes it’s hard not to think of you as someone who needs to be protected. There’s something… almost innocent about you.”
The redhead gave a snort of laughter and looked over at her in disbelief.
“You get into that absinthe Shay gave me when I wasn’t lookin’ or somethin’?” he asked. Remy rolled her eyes.
“I just mean that it’s easy to forget that you’ve been through things that even some seasoned Turks might find… hard to deal with. And… you’re right. I shouldn’t let myself forget that. You’re not child.”
“So… does that mean you’re gonna quit actin’ like you’re too embarrassed to be anywhere near me just ’cause you happen to know what I’m like in the sack now?”
“I… think we’ve come to a certain level of understanding, yes,” she replied.
He grinned slightly. “Ya still want me to keep my mouth shut about it?”
“I don’t think either of our reputations would benefit from it becoming public knowledge…” Remy said, in the most diplomatic tone she could manage… which only made his grin widen.
“Ya know… you could just say ‘I feel like a idiot for gettin’ wasted and accidentally havin’ a one night stand with a hot as fuck redhead. Please don’t tell anyone about my sordid love life’… ‘Cause I’d totally be okay that.”
The senior Turk finally cracked a smile. “I don’t recall ever describing you as ‘hot as fuck’,” she replied.
“It was implied.”
Remy shook her head and got to her feet. “Good night, Reno,” she said, “And happy birthday.”
The rookie got up and followed her to the door.
“Ya know… I’m not gonna be a rookie forever. Eventually I’m gonna be a full fledged Turk. Just in case you ever wanted to –”
“Good night, Reno,” she chuckled.
“Just throwin’ it out there,” he snickered. “‘Night, Remy.”
He didn’t bother turning on the lights. Hell, he didn’t even bother locking the door behind him. Instead, he made his way across the living room and sat down in his favorite chair… and simply stared into the darkness.
Forcing a smile or a laugh that didn’t look or sound forced, for hours on end, was exhausting. But Reno had so seldom celebrated his birthday in the past. He hadn’t wanted to ruin it for him. And after awhile, the smiles and the laughs hadn’t been so forced… which ultimately made him feel worse. What right did he have to happiness? What right did he have to the comfort of his little adopted family, when his own flesh and blood viewed him as something to be shunned and forgotten?
Hardly more than a day back in Midgar, and a part of him already wanted to run back to his self-enforced solitude. It wasn’t merely guilt. It was also the thought of having to give an order, or make a decision, that might take someone else he loved away from him.
The thought of leaving them, however, terrified him even more. What could he do to protect any of them if he disappeared again and locked himself away from society? There was a war going on, and things were going to get far worse before they got better. He couldn’t just abandon them.
Tseng felt as though he were lost at sea… not sure which direction to turn, and in danger of drowning at any moment.
~end chapter 71~