Chapter 33: Never Prank a Prankster
“Can’t I take this fuckin’ thing off yet?” Reno asked, as Dr. Ward gently prodded his shoulder. It had been three weeks… going on four… since his training accident, and the redhead was sick of being sidelined. He wasn’t allowed to lift anything. He wasn’t allowed to do any sort of hand to hand practice. Hell, he couldn’t even do much on the gun range, because it was his dominant hand that was incapacitated by the shoulder injury, and shooting one-handed with his off hand just resulted in a lot of wasted ammunition.
For the past few weeks, he’d effectively been an office slave. Filing completed reports, organizing the archive room, handling scheduling issues, and running errands between floor for the others. He’d become the Turks’ secretary, and he wanted it over with. Now.
Plus he was sick to death of all the stupid little ‘therapeutic’ exercises she had him doing, to ensure that the muscles in his arm didn’t weaken from disuse.
“Language!” the doctor snapped. She eased his arm out of the sling, and carefully pulled it out straight in front of him. “Any pain?”
Reno shook his head.
“Let’s see yeh try and raise it over yer head. Stop if it hurts.”
He did as ordered, stretching his arm up into the air. Ward gave – what he hoped was – an approving nod.
“Alright… Yer cleared fer general duty.”
“Oh, thank Ifrit…” the rookie breathed.
“… But…” she added with a stern look, “I want yeh ta ease back inta training. Don’t go and overdo it yer first day back at it.”
“Yeah, yeah,” he replied, grinning. “We done here? I’m gonna be late for the mornin’ briefing.”
Dr. Ward chuckled, and held out a bright purple sucker. “Yeh can go. Try not ta turn up in my exam room again fer a bit, hmm?”
“Where else am I gonna get free candy?”
“As if that’s going ta be a problem,” she snorted softly. “Yeh do realize what tomorrow is, don’t yeh?”
The redhead’s eyes went wide.
“… Holy crap… I fuckin’ forgot! Hey… do they really just hand shit out to anyone up here?”
“Language!” the doctor replied, in an exasperated tone. “And yes… They do. Don’t they have Halloween down in the Slums?”
“Well, sure… but most people can’t afford to just give shi– stuff away…” he replied, censoring himself at the last second. He wouldn’t put it past the doctor to take back his treat for violating her language filter even after she’d given it to him. “‘Least not in Sector Two. Mostly, it’s just an excuse to pull pranks ‘n scare people.”
“Hmph… Then I’m sure by this time next week, yeh’ll have eaten yerself inta a diabetic coma. Right then… off with yeh. Back ta work, my little headache.”
Reno grinned and hopped off the table, pulling his jacket back on. Freedom from that stupid sling and no more restricted duty… and free candy? This was shaping up to be a good week.
By the time he made it upstairs, the morning briefing had already begun, and Reno crept into the room as silently as he could, trying not to interrupt. He slipped into the chair next to Rude, just as Veld was passing around copies of a dossier.
“It’s imperative that he be located as soon as possible,” the Turk leader was saying. “But under no circumstances is he to be harmed in any way. Be warned, though… he has no such obligation against any of you. Watch yourselves.”
“What’s goin’ on?” the redhead whispered to his friend.
“Tell you after,” Rude replied quietly, as Veld’s focus landed squarely on the redhead a moment later.
“Reno. What did Medical have to say?” he asked, startling the rookie slightly.
“… Uh… Ward cleared me for duty,” he stammered, caught off-guard. Veld nodded.
“Good. I’d like you paired up with Rude for this, then. He’ll fill you in.”
“Yes, sir,” he replied, still having no idea what was going on.
“Alright. Everyone… let’s get started.”
With that, the entire team collectively got to their feet, dividing up into partners and taking their dossiers with them as they hurriedly exited the room. Reno stared after them, slightly shocked by the abrupt departure.
“… Okay. That was weird.”
“There’s an intruder in the building,” Rude explained. He was already on his feet, and the redhead quickly mirrored him. “He’s some kind of weapons engineer. Used to work for us. Security spotted him on the overnight surveillance footage about twenty minutes ago. They think he’s still here. Come on… we’ve got floors five through ten to search.”
“What’s all this shit about us not hurtin’ the guy?”
Rude shrugged. “Not sure… Veld just said he’s not to be harmed. At all. Need him for interrogation, maybe?”
Reno frowned slightly. That was unusual… but he supposed if this guy had valuable information, shooting him in the head might be a little counterproductive. Still… what if he attacked them? They couldn’t fight back? Not even to disable him?
He flipped open the folder on their target. He was middle-aged, with a five o’clock shadow and short, tightly-curled brown hair. He didn’t look particularly dangerous… if anything he looked like any other tech nerd from the various research departments. But the redhead knew better than to judge on appearance alone. Just because someone doesn’t look like they might try and kill you doesn’t mean they don’t have a knife behind their back.
Something nagged at him, though. Why had Veld paired him up with Rude? Not that the two of them didn’t work well together… but it seemed a little odd to put the team’s only two rookies together for a building-wide manhunt.
Maybe it was a chance for them to show the rest of the team how far they’d progressed. Or maybe he was sending the two of them to the least likely place their target might be encountered. Or maybe it was a combination of the two… a low-risk mission without a senior Turk hovering over them. You know… just to see how badly fucked up without their mentors around.
He frowned as they boarded the elevator, still deep in thought.
… Maybe it was something else, altogether.
“Something wrong?” Rude asked. Reno shook himself from his musings.
“… Nah. Not really. Just… Doesn’t this seem weird to you?”
“Weird how?”
“I dunno… I mean, I keep hearin’ how company headquarters is the most secure building in all of Midgar. And this guy just walks right in and disappears?”
“…”
“And then Veld puts us together. Not that I’m complainin’ about havin’ you around, but when’s the last time you got sent somewhere without a senior Turk to back you up?”
“… Now that you mention it… that is kind of weird.”
“And just throwin’ it out there, but… it’s the day before Halloween. Maybe shit’s different topside, but down in the Slums, we call that Mischief’s Eve. It’s the biggest fuckin’ prank holiday of the year. Awfully big coincidence… don’t ya think?”
“You… think they’re trying to prank us? All of ’em?”
Reno shrugged. “I’m just sayin’ something’s weird about this,” he replied as the elevator dropped them off on the fifth floor. The pair exited and found themselves in a small lobby. Five was headquarters for the advertising and public relations department. The walls were decorated with the company’s most recent ad campaigns, and promotional materials. The redhead sighed. “But… I guess we gotta treat it like it’s real, either way. ‘Least ’til we know otherwise. I don’t wanna be the one explainin’ shit to Veld if it turns out to be legit and we let the guy get away, thinkin’ it’s a prank. Do you?”
“Definitely not,” Rude replied.
Tres snickered gleefully as he slipped into the security station on Ten. This was going to be epic. Veld had – grudgingly – agree to the prank Monday evening during the afternoon meeting while the rookies had been busy elsewhere. Even Tseng hadn’t taken much effort to bring on board. And the others… well, with the exception of Remy who never seemed to see much humor in anything… they’d been very enthusiastic about the idea of scaring the ever-living shit out of the rookies for Halloween.
He sat down at the console and pulled up the cameras on the fifth floor. It didn’t take him long to zero in on his targets. The others would be setting things up and preparing themselves by now… he just had to keep everything coordinated.
Rude was going to absolutely freak out… and Reno… He grinned again. His fellow former-slum rat’d probably piss himself.
He watched in silence as the pair started down the hallway, in a standard search pattern, just the way they’d been taught. The lower floors were a safe zone. Nothing would happen to them there. They’d become complacent. And then, once they’d wandered into his trap, they real show would begin…
Best of all… neither one of them had even the slightest inkling that it was coming.
“Sooo… I was thinkin’…”
Rude snorted a laugh. “Should I take cover? That’s usually dangerous.”
“… You’re hilarious, ya know that?” the redhead said, dryly. “Just for that… I’m not even gonna tell ya.”
“Sure you are,” Rude replied. He paused in his bid for the next office and glanced back at the redhead, smirking, “You always tell me… whether I’m interested or not.”
Reno glared at him petulantly and flipped him off before turning on his heel and marching off the check out a small conference room across the hall. The bald Turk snickered.
“Spill it already.”
“Tch… Hell no. Fuck you, if you’re gonna be like that.”
Rude shrugged. “Suit yourself.”
He waited. The younger Turk wouldn’t have even brought it up if he hadn’t been dying to share whatever had crossed his mind, and once he’d decided it needed to be discussed, it was only a matter of time… a fact that Rude thoroughly enjoyed teasing him about.
It was largely the exact opposite of his own personality. Rude preferred to keep his own counsel until he had a full grasp of the situation at hand. His friend, on the other hand, liked to talk through ideas as they came to him.
He lasted all of a minute and a half.
“So, I was thinkin’…” Reno repeated, and Rude smirked silently to himself before turning back to his fellow Turk. “Let’s just, for the sake of argument, say that this is some elaborate prank that Veld, or Tseng, or one of the others came up with and got everyone to cooperate on. There’s no ‘intruder’… or, better yet, they’ve got some guy hiding around here somewhere, waitin’ for us to find him. If you wanted to scare the fuck outta some poor, unsuspecting rookies… how would you do it?”
Rude shrugged again. He had a feeling an answer wasn’t really expected of him.
“For one thing… you’d wanna watch, right?”
“Goes without saying,” he agreed, as Reno poked his head into the next room, pointedly not looking at him… and Rude suddenly realize where he was going with this. “You think someone’s watching us on the cameras?”
“Someone. Maybe several someones. I mean… if this really is a prank.”
Rude subtly side-eyed the unobtrusive dome mounted on the ceiling a short distance down the hallway, and casually turned to rummage through a nearby supply closet.
“… So if someone were watchin’… Could they hear us, too?” the redhead continued, keeping up the act.
“No. Not on the building’s system anyway. It’s video only. No audio. Maybe if they set something up ahead of time. Or bugged one of us without us knowing…”
“Anyone give ya anything unusual this mornin’… ?”
“Nope,” the other Turk replied… but now his own suspicions were being roused. Had anyone handed him something this morning that could contain a bug of some sort? He didn’t think so…
“… Like, for instance… a dossier on a mysterious ‘intruder’? That they knew we’d hold onto so we could flash his photo around during our search?”
Rude froze momentarily and glanced down at the folder tucked under his arm… and at the shiny glint of the large clip that held the man’s photograph to the inside cover. That never would have occurred to him.
“Heh… catchin’ on there, pal?” By now, Reno had made it slightly farther down the hall and was standing in front of a women’s restroom. He smirked slightly and pushed the door open. “They did say look everywhere, right? Come back me up… ya know… just in case our guy’s hidin’ out in one of the stalls.”
Rude rolled his eyes slightly, but crossed the hallway and joined him. The duo slipped into the bathroom, letting the door close softly behind them.
“… ‘kay, so is that thing bugged or what?” Reno asked, the smirk dropping from his face. Rude flipped the folder open and pulled the clip off of the photo, holding it up to examine it. It was slightly larger than normal… and when he pulled on it, attempting to unbend it, the thin metal didn’t give much at all. He lifted his sunglasses for a closer look, squinting at the end. To his surprise, there was a pair of tiny indentations… which he immediately recognized; an opening for the microphone, and the button to physically activate it.
“You’ve gotta be kidding me…” he breathed, and looked up at his friend, who was now grinning cattishly.
“I fucking knew it. Nothin’ about this bullshit seemed right,” he chuckled, “Is it on?”
“… Not sure,” the other rookie answered, studying the little device. “Something this small wouldn’t have much of a battery life, though. Twenty… Thirty minutes max. Usually you’d activate it remotely when you knew you needed it.”
Reno reached into his pocket and pulled out a felt-tipped marker.
“What are you going to do with that?” Rude asked.
“Hopefully get a date or two…” the redhead snickered as he scrawled his phone number on the bathroom wall near one of the sinks. Rude rolled his eyes.
“Reno…”
“What? Can’t a guy multi-task?” Task completed, the put the pen away. “Look… they assigned us six goddamn floors, right? Gonna take us a hell of a lot longer than thirty minutes to cover that much ground. So let’s assume that the first one’s not where they’re gonna pull whatever they’re gonna pull. False sense of security ‘n shit. Probably not eavesdroppin’ just yet…”
“Okay.”
“Now look where they put us. Five’s advertising… We can be pretty sure they’re not gonna get us here. Too crowded. Six… That’s building administration. Lots of employees wandering around, too. Busy as fuck every time I’ve been there… and I’ve been there a lot lately with all of you guys’ goddamn fuckin’ requisition forms the last few weeks. Seven? Billing and customer service. Nuh uh… Once again, too many people in ‘n outta there, and a lot of ’em aren’t even employees. I don’t think any of our fellow Turks are crazy enough to pull somethin’ there. They’d want a more controlled environment.” He suddenly grinned. “But then… we get to Eight. And what’s on Eight?”
Rude’s own smile widened. “Overnight sleeping quarters for employees.”
“Exactly… Basically a whole lotta nothin’ this time of day. That’s where they’ll try ‘n get us. I’d bet every gil I got on it.”
Rude chuckled and wrapped an arm around his friend’s shoulders. “I ever tell you you’re a genius?”
“No… but feel free,” the redhead laughed. “‘Course now the question is… what are we gonna do about this?”
“What do you mean?”
“Well, we certainly can’t just let ’em prank us. And fucked if I’m gonna let ’em get away with tryin’, either. So how do we make ’em sorry for even thinkin’ about it?”
“… Prank them back?”
The redhead grinned evilly. “Exactly. Got any ideas?”
“The fuck are those two doin’ in there? Jerkin’ each other off?” Tres muttered, as he continued to stare at the screen displaying the hallway on Five. The pair of rookies had just disappeared into the restroom as part of their search… nothing odd about that. But they were certainly taking their sweet time about it. The door behind him opened and closed again, with a soft, electronic beep, announcing that someone had entered the security office. It was the only sound he heard until the new arrival spoke.
“How goes it?”
He smirked and didn’t bother looking over his shoulder.
“Ya know, someone oughta tie a fuckin’ bell on you, Tseng.”
“Veld tried that once, actually,” the Turk lieutenant replied. Tres raised an eyebrow.
“And… ?”
The Turk lieutenant chuckled softly. “And we learned that, while it may be effective on cats, it’s significantly less so on me.”
Tres snorted in amusement and spun around in his chair to face his superior.
“Now why doesn’t that surprise me?”
“Where are they?” Tseng asked, nodding to the monitors.
“Fifth floor women’s bathroom. Been in there awhile. I was just about to turn on the audio ‘n see if one of ’em fell in, or somethin’.”
“Knowing Reno, he’s decided to take an extra moment or two to graffiti the walls with his phone number,” he sighed, rolling his eyes. Tres laughed.
“Ya know… I wish I had half his luck with women…” A slight amount of movement on the video screen caught his eye, and he quickly turned back. “Heh… They’re on the move again. Looks like they’ve finished up and are headin’ upstairs to Six.”
“I’ll let the others know.”
They’d spent a good twenty minutes showing the alleged intruder’s photo around to the staff in the sixth floor’s building administration offices… and surprise, surprise, not one person had recognized him. The two of them were keeping conversation between themselves to a minimum, since they had no real way of knowing when whoever was watching them might decide to listen in. They’d run a little bit of a risk staying in the bathroom as long as they had. Hopefully their observer hadn’t gotten impatient and done a little eavesdropping on that conversation.
They’d settled on three things during their brief private meeting.
One… this was definitely not a real security breach. Nothing added up, and the bugged dossier was about all the proof they really needed. And just in case they needed more, once they’d reached the sixth floor, Rude had unobtrusively logged in to check the building’s live security alerts while Reno had been ‘questioning’ a few other employees. Building security wasn’t on alert. Neither was Solider. Neither were the Turks, at least not officially. There was absolutely no record of any intruder, or any other issue, in any of the building’s security systems.
Two… They all had to be in on it, from Veld on down. Otherwise, it never would have worked. They hadn’t decided who had masterminded it… but they’d come up with a shortlist. Tres was at the top of Rude’s. Reno suspected Kai. And they had both grudgingly agreed that they couldn’t entirely dismiss the possibility of Tseng being behind it, just because he was the last person anyone would have suspected of attempting to pull a Halloween prank.
And three… They had to pay. Neither rookie was willing to just call them on it, laugh, and move on. Those jokers needed a taste of their own medicine.
To that end, though… they needed supplies. And it was going to be hard to get them if the were constantly being watched. Which was why Reno once more found himself sequestered in a bathroom… alone this time. They needed a little outside help. He pulled out his PHS and dialed Izzy’s number.
“Hey, Reno,” she answered, “What’s up?”
“… Any chance you can get away for about ten minutes or so? I need a little favor.”
The woman giggled softly. “Oh really? What kind of favor?” she asked, teasingly.
“Heh… Unfortunately, not the kind your thinkin’. Although, if ya help me out, I’d be very, very grateful.”
“Hmm… Are we talking sensual massage grateful? Or… Izzy’s got a new strap-on she needs to break in grateful?”
The redhead grinned widely as he added the last digit of his number to the wall. “Long as you got plenty of massage oil, I’m up for either.”
“What do you need me to do?”
“Anything?” Rude asked as the other rookie emerged. He’d been standing guard in the somewhat busy hallway, directing traffic away from the restroom while Reno had called in backup.
“All clear. Think that just about covers this floor,” he replied, keeping up the facade, “Up to Seven?”
The bald Turk nodded and took the lead, heading for the elevators. He frowned slightly at the ‘out of order’ sign that greeted them. That hadn’t been there earlier. He glanced back at Reno, who gave him a subtle nod.
“I guess that means we backtrack to the east elevators,” he said, “Unless you wanna hit the stairs.”
Reno shrugged, but flashed him a pointed look. “Tch… I got to skip my morning workout for once ’cause of this shit. I’m not trudgin’ up a bunch of stairs if I don’t have to.”
The pair turned away from the elevators and started back across the building. Rude looked at him questioningly, and ‘accidentally’ stuck his thumb over the hidden microphone as he pulled out the photo to study it.
“Think it was them?”
“Yep,” Reno replied, as they made their way down the hall. “And I’m guessin’ they did it ’cause they wanna keep us over on the east side of the building.”
“… So why are we doing exactly what they want us to?”
“Because we still got one more floor to go before he hit Eight. We play this just the way they expect us to… then we fuck with their plans and head up the west stairs instead.”
“Okay… But what makes you so sure they didn’t just intend for us to take the stairs back there?”
The redhead smirked. “No cameras in the west stairwell right now. Remember? That power surge we had awhile ago fried ’em all, and security’s still workin’ on replacin’ ’em. They started on the secure floors up top. Haven’t gotten this far yet.”
Rude’s jaw dropped slightly. He’d forgotten about that. Granted, he’d had other things on his mind at the time it happened – namely his Hell Week – but he didn’t like that there seemed to be gap in his intelligence-gathering. Reno smirked.
“I finally manage to one-up ya?” he snickered. The other rookie chuckled.
“Guess it had to happen at least once.”
“Anyway… Izzy’s gonna leave our supplies on the west landing for Eight. When we get up there, we’re gonna need to split up. Those assholes are probably hidin’ up there somewhere, just waitin’ to scare the shit outta us… so we gotta move fast and beat ’em to it. You just keep ’em followin’ you around the floor. I’ll take care of the setup.”
“How are you going to avoid the cameras, though?”
The redhead laughed. “Oh… trust me. I got that covered.”
Things were going exactly the way he’d planned them, and the two rookies had just boarded the east elevators.
“Good job, Remy. They’re on their way up to Seven, now…” he said in to his PHS. He heard a soft snort on the other end of the line.
“Please tell me you didn’t interrupt my entire day with this moronic idiocy just so I could hang a few out of order signs for you…” she sighed.
Tres snickered. “That’s exactly what I did. ‘Cause I knew it’d annoy the crap out of ya. Thanks for the assist.”
“… Grow up, Tres.”
With that, the line went dead, and the senior Turk burst out laughing. Remy could be sweet as candy when she was in a good mood, and she’d been a dear friend to him since he’d been recruited… but the poor girl had zero sense of humor. The same was frequently said about Tseng as well, but the Turk lieutenant could, at least, take a joke. And occasionally even play one. Remy, though… she was the consummate professional through and through, and serious to a fault. He’d been trying for years to get her to lighten up a little, with very limited success.
“One of these days, you’re going to annoy her just a bit too much.”
Tres very nearly jumped out of his skin at the unexpected declaration. He hadn’t heard the bastard come in this time. “Fuckin’ hell… Ya know, I’m pretty sure I’ve asked you before to not do that!”
Tseng smirked. “So has everyone else. I’ve not accommodated any of their requests. I fail to see why you should be an exception. Today in particular.”
“Yeah, well, when you end up givin’ one of us a heart attack, you might start rethinkin’ that stance,” he muttered, and turned back to the monitors. “Fuckin’ sadist…”
“They’re on Seven?” the Wutaiian Turk asked, ignoring the name calling, and Tres nodded.
“Right on schedule. Kai, Saya, and Sato are finishin’ things up on Eight as we speak, and Luca and Shay are positioned outside the elevators to… heh… nudge… them into the trap. Veld sure he doesn’t wanna come help out?”
Tseng shook his head and laughed softly. “He already delivered your fake briefing. Just how involved do you want him? And before you answer that, you might consider that, should this backfire or Heidegger catch wind of it, plausible dependability on Veld’s part may be the only thing standing between you and a week in a detention cell.”
“Ya make a good point…” Tres replied, grinning. “Alright, alright… anyway… You stickin’ around here, or are you goin’ downstairs?
“Oh, I plan on having a front row seat for this…” the Turk lieutenant chuckled. “Especially since I’ve been suckered into having to either take Reno trick or treating tomorrow night or relax his curfew so he can go on his own. After what happened last time, I’ve opted for the former. Leviathan only knows what he might get up to unsupervised on Halloween…”
Tres raised an eyebrow. “… Isn’t he a little old for that sorta thing?”
Tseng snorted in laughter. “Try convincing him of that. He’s been obsessed with the idea since he heard the words ‘free candy’.” The senior Turk gave a soft sigh, “And he’s largely missed out on such things. I must admit… I couldn’t tell him no.”
“Never thought I’d live to see the day Tseng Istudake went soft…” Tres goaded him, grinning widely. Tseng narrowed his eyes at his subordinate.
“You just sit here and watch your precious cameras. I’ll show you how ‘soft’ I’ve become.”
Reno pushed open the door to the west stairwell, and ushered Rude through. They hurried up the stairs to the eighth floor, pausing on the landing. As he’d expected, there was a small black gym bag waiting for them upon arrival. The redhead knelt down and opened it, rummaging through its contents. A moment later he looked up, grinning, and gave his friend a thumbs up.
They’d already discussed tactics. From this point on, they had to assume that some, or all, of the others were listening in. Reno slipped out of his jacket and slung the bag across his chest, before pulling the garment back on to conceal it. It would still stand out like a sore thumb… but with any luck he wouldn’t be on camera long enough for anyone to notice it. He nodded, and Rude pushed open the door that would take them into the employee sleeping quarters. It was time for a little acting.
“Tch… Well, this isn’t creepy as fuck at all, now is it?” the redhead offered as they stepped into a dimly lit corridor. Rude snorted softly.
“What were you expecting?” he asked. “No one has any reason to be down here in the middle of the day. Why waste the power?”
“Huh… Kinda makes it the perfect place for our guy to be hidin’, doesn’t it?” Reno paused and turned so that his little bag of tricks was hidden from the nearby camera. “Fuck it. It’s gonna take forever to search the whole floor. We’ll cover more ground if we split up.”
Rude nodded. “You take this side. I’ll take the east side of the building.” He smirked slightly. “Scream if you see anyone.”
“Tch… That s’posed to be a lame-ass Halloween joke?”
The bald Turk chuckled and and headed off with a wave. Reno, meanwhile, turned toward the first door in the hallway, and with an exaggerated sigh for the camera, opened it and disappeared inside.
“Fuck,” Tres swore. He hadn’t planned on the two of them splitting up like that. Not only was it against protocol in situations like this, it was fucking stupid, too. He’d taught Rude better than that. He and the rookie were going to be having a little refresher course on wide area searches when this was over. And he’d be mentioning it to Tseng as well. After all, it had been Reno’s idea.
He grabbed his PHS and dialed Luca’s number to let him know.
“Luca here,” the other Turk answered.
“Got a problem. Those two fuckwits decided to split up.”
Luca snickered quietly. “You almost sound like you’re taking it as a personal slight…”
“Rude fuckin’ knows better than to pull some amateur bullshit like that! And Reno’s got himself into enough shit lately… you’d think he’d be extra careful to follow protocol.”
“… Oh, so you are taking it as a personal slight…” the Turk replied, still laughing. “Don’t worry. Shay and I can wrangle ’em. Thanks for the heads up.”
Reno was careful not to make too much noise as he unzipped the bag Izzy had left him. He shrugged out of his jacket again and stuffed it inside, and extracted a small screwdriver. He made quick work of the vent cover on the wall, and lifted it up on its hinges, before tucking the screwdriver away and locating a flashlight. He hurried to shove the bag into the narrow opening and crawled in after it. The vent slammed shut behind him with a loud bang. Hopefully, it had only sounded loud due to the confined space he now found himself inside. He didn’t want the other Turks he suspected were hiding elsewhere to start hearing suspicious noises and come to investigate.
It wasn’t exactly easy going, and for a moment he was half convinced that he had somehow miraculously put on the weight that Dr. Ward continuously said he needed. After the first few feet, however, the passage widened slightly into more what he’d been expecting. The redhead clicked on the light and placed it between his teeth as he shimmied his way deeper into the mazelike air vents.
It was a little bit of a squeeze… but it allowed him to move just about anywhere on the floor without being seen. Soon, he found himself edging his way along a hallway. Muffled voices reached him from what sounded like one of the small rooms to his left. At the next junction, he made a lefthand turn and scurried across the hall.
“Yer sure yeh haven’t overdone it, right?” Saya said quietly, as Sato fiddled with a small device laid out on the bed. “We’re not tryin’ ta blow the wee things up. We’re just tryin’ ta give ’em a bit o’ a fright.”
“Quit yer naggin’, woman. I bloody well know what I’m doin’. Now… hand me that pressure switch.”
Reno smirked and watched the senior Turk tuck some sort of device under the mattress, and another under a small area rug. He wondered how many of the rooms the pair had booby trapped. They had to have been up here awhile by now. Half the floor could be rigged.
Though… that made things difficult. He’d have to be very careful setting up his own little prank, or he might end up getting caught in theirs by accident. At least now, he had some idea what to look for. As silently as he could, he backed up the way he’d come, all the way to the junction, and hurried to continue on in the opposite direction of the two senior Turks.
Once he’d put a little distance between himself and the twins, he made for one of the other rooms and cautiously slipped out of the vent. The redhead pointedly avoided stepping on the rug until he was certain there were no hidden triggers or tripwires, and then made a quick sweep of the space. He sighed in relief. It looked like the pair had either skipped this room, or hadn’t managed to get this far.
With a grin, he snapped the lock on the door closed and set the bag down on the bed. He had some work to do.
Rude paused, mid-stride, as he slowly traversed the next hallway. He was certain he’d heard something nearby… but now that he was listening intently, all was silent. After a few long moments, he started forward again. Wherever the others were, they were well-hidden. He pushed his sunglasses up slightly, and stole a glance up at a camera as he passed under it.
Tres was probably watching him. The many loved his cameras… and he’d instilled the same fondness for unobserved surveillance in the rookie he’d taken under his wing. Technically… Veld was Rude’s official mentor. But the Turk leader had very quickly recognized the young man’s affinity for intelligence and surveillance. As a result, Veld had largely turned over his training to Tres hardly a month after Rude had been promoted.
Rude was glad for it. It suited him better than training as a field commander or infiltration specialist. He liked knowing things he wasn’t supposed to know, and Tres had taught him how to make a career of that very skill.
He repressed the urge to smirk. Tres had to be going nuts right about now, if Reno was right about how the others had expected this to play out. They had to have thrown a significant wrench into the plan by now. They weren’t where they were supposed to be, and they weren’t together. Like himself, Tres was pretty good when it came to working from a plan… but having to change things up on the fly tended to throw him a bit, and made him overthink his next move.
Reno, meanwhile, likely had things planned out half a dozen steps in advance with contingencies ready to go the moment the situation changed. He’d been following the redhead’s lead all morning.
Rude had told his friend some time ago that he’d make a good strategist… and the more he got to know the younger rookie, the more certain of that he became. He really did have a gift for it, and Rude wondered if Tseng had noticed that.
Probably so, given that, as he understood it, the Turk lieutenant had all but demanded his recruitment. Tres had explained to him the significance of a first rookie shortly after they’d been told Reno was coming to join them. Far more often than not, it wasn’t just a matter of choosing a rookie, but an eventual successor, as well. It wasn’t a hard and fast rule, of course… but it was fairly common. Tseng had been Veld’s first rookie… and now he was his second in command. It wouldn’t have surprised Rude to learn that the redhead was slowly being groomed for the same role.
Though he suspected that Reno himself would have dismissed that idea outright. Rude knew full well that his friend still didn’t feel as though he were meeting expectations… particularly after his recent misadventure… and he suspected that much of that came from being so utterly unwanted for so long.
His train of thought was derailed by another soft sound on the floor. He paused again as a shadow flitted past the intersection and around the corner ahead of him, and he forced himself not to laugh. Apparently they weren’t going to be subtle about this. He obediently followed, knowing that, whoever it was, they were intentionally leading him somewhere. It was his job to begin to coax them back over to where Reno would be waiting…
Reno put the finishing touches on his little display, and grinned. The looks on their faces when they saw this were going to be epic… and maybe next time they’d think twice before messing with a couple of rookies. It was time to get their attention.
He sent a text message to Rude… their predetermined signal that he was ready… and waited. It took several minutes, as he suspected his friend was clear on the other side of the building by now, but soon enough he heard footsteps outside the door. If things had gone as they’d planned, whoever was keeping an eye on them would have seen the bald Turk glance down at his phone, and then hightail it across the floor with a slightly panicked look on his face. And if they held true to form, they’d be close behind.
The redhead smirked and cracked open the door as the footsteps were passing by, and reached out into the hallway, careful not to be caught on camera, grabbing the other Turk and dragging him inside. He slammed the door as hard as he could behind him and flipped the lock, sniggering.
“Everything go alright?”
Rude returned the smug look. “If they weren’t following me before, they will be after Tres tells ’em someone dragged me through a door…” He glanced around the room and snickered. “You sure you used enough blood?”
Reno shrugged. “I wanted to be thorough,” he replied, and tossed the other Turk a pair of handcuffs before hopping up onto the bloodstained bed. Maybe he had been a little heavy handed… but he was going for shock. And this would definitely be a shock.
“Hope we’re not the ones stuck cleaning it up…” Rude laughed as he fastened the younger man to the headboard. Reno grinned and dumped a bottle filled with more of the faux-blood over his chest and stomach, before completing the look by tucking a long knife from the building’s kitchen into his armpit so that it stood up as though stuck clean through him. Rude snorted softly.
“Hey… It’s only gotta be convincin’ for like five seconds,” Reno shot back in a whisper, and tossed him a second bottle, “Now get the fuck down on the floor ‘n look murdered.”
More footsteps were heard, rushing toward them. They had only seconds. Rude hurried to douse himself and collapse at the foot of the bed. Almost the moment he hit the floor, the doorknob rattled. Reno grinned widely and let out an agonized scream and then went perfectly still, waiting.
The door was immediately kicked in.
“Reno! Rude!” Luca shouted. It was followed by a gasp of horror, and the redhead was fairly certain that had been Kai.
“… Oh, dear sweet Shiva…” Saya breathed as she pushed her way past her cousin.
“Reno?!” That was Tseng’s voice, and Reno had to try very hard not to move a muscle.
“What’s going on? Sato! Move, will ya?” Shay demanded, peering over the taller Turk’s shoulder. “… Oh my Holy…”
No one moved for a second of two, but then Reno felt hands on him, rolling him onto his back. Tseng swore as the handcuffs prevented him from picking the younger man up, and fingers crept up to the artery in his neck, frantically seeking out a pulse.
More rapid footsteps echoed from the hallway, and moments later, Tres joined the group as well.
“Rude?! The fuck happened? Are they okay?”
He would have loved to have continued the charade… but the redhead was about two seconds from laughing hysterically. He slowly turned his head towards Tseng, opening his eyes, and gave him his best evil smile.
“Boo,” he said, calmly. Rude snickered from his position on the floor, and Tseng swore loudly in Wutaiian before roughly dropping the rookie he was by now cradling back onto the blood-soaked sheets with an annoyed glare.
“Yeh devious little bastards!” Sato cried, suddenly bursting out laughing.
“Ugh…” Kai groaned, “I’m going to kill both of your for this, you little shits!”
“Hey, you guys started it with all that fake intruder bullshit,” Reno replied.
“This wasn’t funny,” Saya retorted, but her cousin was, by then, nearly doubled over.
“Are yeh kiddin’ me? This was way better than what Tres had planned!” Sato guffawed. By then, Tres was helping Rude back to his feet, but he paused long enough to shoot Sato a withering look. The Mideelian Turk just continued to laugh. “Gotta tell Remy about this. She’s gonna be right pissed she decided ta head back upstairs ‘n miss out. Bet she’da liked ta see the look on Tres’ face just now…”
“Ah, fuck you, Sato,” Tres muttered, escorting his rookie towards the door. “Come on, Rude… We’re goin’ back to the office and you’re tellin’ me exactly how you two fuckers pulled this shit off without me realizin’ it.”
The other Turks filed out one by one behind them, leaving Reno alone with Tseng. The Turk lieutenant gripped the rookie’s wrist and unlocked the handcuffs. Once he was free the senior Turk pulled him tightly against his chest, ignoring the ‘blood’ that quickly saturated the front of his uniform.
“If your goal was to give me a heart attack, you very nearly succeeded,” he said, lightly stroking Reno’s hair, “The next time you feel the need to outdo one of Tres’ pranks, I would greatly appreciate it if you didn’t fake your own death.”
“Heh… Don’t try ‘n prank me, and you won’t have to worry about it.”
Tseng released him and chuckled quietly.
“I suppose we did have it coming,” he agreed with a laugh. “Still… Coming face to face with one of my greatest fears was not an entirely pleasant experience.” He shook his head and smiled. “I’ll see you at the end of the day…”
Reno raised an eyebrow. “Uh… what’s that s’posed to mean?” he asked, uncertainly. Tseng smirked, and in dim light of the sleeping quarters it looked utterly evil.
“Tres seems to have commandeered your partner in crime… but someone still has to clean this up.”
The redhead paled slightly as he looked around the room… at the blood-stained walls and bed and floor and ceiling. Oh yeah… he’d definitely gotten carried away. He groaned loudly.
“You’re not serious…”
“You made the mess… and I won’t be fielding complaints from maintenance for this,” Tseng replied. “I’ll send Shay down with a mop and bucket for you. I’m sure you be finished by the time you’re off duty.”
Reno plopped down onto the bed and shook his head.
“By the time I’m off duty next week maybe…” he muttered, as Tseng took his leave. He distinctly heard his mentor laugh from out in the hallway.
~end chapter 33~