Desha's Reno of the Turks Fan Fiction

Chapter 29: Home Alone

Rude wandered back into the lounge less than ten minutes after Tseng had informed him that Veld wished to speak to him… and Reno immediately knew that something was terribly wrong.

“Yo… Rude… The fuck did Veld do to ya?” the redhead asked, “You look like you just got told they’re sendin’ you on permanent assignment to the Great Glacier.”

“… Worse,” the other rookie replied, shaking his head in despair.

“… Uh… ‘kay, I know I’m gonna regret askin’, but what’s worse than freezin’ your ass off for the rest of your life?”

Rude collapsed onto the couch and buried his face in his hands.

“Hell Week…” he groaned. “I knew it was coming… but I didn’t think it’d be next week!”

Reno arched an eyebrow in curiosity. That was a new one. He’d never heard mention of any such thing up until now.

“What’s Hell Week?”

Rude looked up at him, incredulously.

“No one told you?” he asked, eyes going wide behind his ever-present sunglasses. Reno slowly shook his head. Well… that certainly didn’t sound real promising. Now he wasn’t entirely sure he even wanted to know. Rude took a deep breath, visibly calming himself. “It’s a week long evaluation for rookies. It can happen any time after nine months on the job. Tres says they can spring an exercise on you at any time, day or night, anywhere you are. You never see ’em coming.” He groaned again. “I’ve been dreading it since the day I was promoted…”

The redhead chuckled. Rude never liked not knowing what was coming ahead of time. He’d told him awhile back that that was one of the reasons he’d gone into intelligence.

“Tch… Sounds like you’re makin’ a big deal over nothin’,” Reno stated, “I mean, what’s the worst they’ll do?”

“I don’t want to think about it. I’ve heard stories…” Rude replied with a shudder, and his fellow rookie laughed.

“From who?”

“… Sato.”

“Tch… Please. Sato’s full of shit. You know that. Last week, he told me he once wrestled a giant sea worm when he was a kid and was the hero of his whole village back home… Asshole was just tryin’ to freak you out.”

Rude leaned back against the cushions and groaned. Reno rolled his eyes.

“‘Kay, listen… It’s Friday. We’re goin’ out tonight, and you’re gettin’ so drunk you won’t even remember anything about Hell Week ’til next Monday.”

“Can’t,” Rude replied.

“Don’t gimme that bullshit. You’re not just gonna sit around mopin’ about this…”

His friend shook his head.

“No… I mean, I’m busy tonight. Margret and I have plans…”

“Oh, yeah?” Reno queried. A grin quickly spread over his face. “That’s the third night this week. You’re seein’ an awful lot of her lately… Just how serious is this gettin’?”

The other rookie flushed bright red and cleared his throat. Reno’s grin widened and he draped an arm over the teenager’s shoulders.

“You’re totally goin’ for it tonight, aren’t ya?! ‘Bout fuckin’ time you took my advice ‘n got laid!”

Rude shot him a glare. “Keep it down, will you? I don’t need everyone in the office knowing about it!” he hissed, mortified.

“Knowin’ that you’re still a virgin? Or knowin’ that you’re plannin’ not bein’ one tomorrow mornin’?” the redhead snickered.

“Either,” he shot back, smacking the younger Turk in the back of the head. Reno only laughed, and continued to grin at his friend. Finally Rude sighed, shaking his head in defeat. “You’re a total pervert. You do know that, right?”

“When have I ever denied that?” the redhead asked with a shrug. Rude chuckled softly in reply. “Heh… Guess I gotta find someone else to hang out with tonight, then.”

“Tseng’s got plans?”

Reno cackled loudly. “Not quite the kinda company I was thinkin’ of… I mean, if you’re gettin’ some tonight, I don’t see why I shouldn’t do the same. Wonder if Izzy’s doin’ anything?”

“… What’s with you and Izzy, anyway?”

“What’dya mean?” Reno asked, genuinely confused by the question. Rude shifted awkwardly.

“… You’ve kinda been seeing her a lot. Does she know you’re… sleeping with other women, too?”

“Oh, that. Yeah, sure she knows. We’re not datin’ or anything. She’s kinda got a thing for this guy on twelve anyway, but he doesn’t really seem too interested in her, so… I’m the next best thing. Or some number, anyway. She sleeps around just as much as I do.” When Rude blinked in surprise, the redhead couldn’t help but snigger. “What do you expect, man? She fucked me in a supply closet within four hours of meetin’ me.” He grinned widely. “And just to be fair… I’m as guilty of that as she is. It’s a convenience thing. We both like to fuck, so why not fuck each other when we don’t have any other plans? Saves us the trouble of tryin’ to pick someone up last minute.”

“And that doesn’t… bother you?”

Reno snorted in laughter. “Rude… pal… You’re talkin’ to a guy who lost his virginity to a rentgirl when he was fourteen and then more or less lived with said rentgirl ’til Tseng came and got me. Trust me… I don’t have a problem with someone I’m hookin’ up with doin’ someone else when I’m not around…” He grinned lewdly and added, “Speakin’ of which… remind me to tell ya sometime how me ‘n Lira met in the first place… I actually only knew her about half an hour before we ended up in bed. And not ’cause I was a customer…”

Rude laughed quietly and glanced up at the clock. “Hmph… and on that note… it’s five. We’re off duty and I need to pick up some stuff for dinner. I’ll see you later.”

He stood and headed for the door, but before he could reach it, it opened, revealing Tseng and Luca in mid conversation.

“Lemme know how it goes!” Reno called after him, as Rude slipped past the two senior Turks. “I’m gonna want details, pal!”

He grinned when there was no answer from his friend. Tseng raised an eyebrow in curiosity.

“How what goes?” he asked, and the redhead shrugged.

“Rude’s got a date.”

Luca snickered, knowingly. “One last hurrah before Hell Week starts…” he commented, drawing an amused snort from the Turk lieutenant as well.

“Yeeeeah… About that,” Reno replied, turning his gaze on Tseng. “Just when exactly were you gonna tell me about the whole Hell Week thing?”

Tseng looked faintly surprised for a moment.

“I’m… sorry. I suppose it simply didn’t occur to me that you wouldn’t know about it by now. In retrospect, that was a rather foolish assumption on my part.”

Luca laughed. “Geez, Tseng… You didn’t tell your own rookie about Hell Week? Good thing Rude was first in line, or the poor kid might’ve had it sprung on him outta nowhere…”

“That is actually the point, you know,” the Wutaiian Turk responded, rolling his eyes. “They’re not supposed to expect it.”

---

Saturday morning dawned bright and crisp. Fall was most assuredly on the brink of arrival, and the cooler weather over the past few days was proof of it. Reno yawned and rolled over with a groan as he realized that he’d forgotten to close the curtains last night. The morning sun was shining directly onto his bed, keeping him from going back to sleep. He’d have to get up and close the if he wanted any chance at success… but getting out of bed wasn’t particularly appealing. He was comfortable and warm. Finally, he simply dragged the covers over his head.

Unfortunately for him, Izzy hadn’t been available after work. Hopefully Rude’s evening had been more… entertaining… than his had been. Since he was free, somehow Tseng had roped him into a shopping trip, saying that the rookie’s wardrobe needed some additions for the upcoming cold weather. Truth be told, it hadn’t been a terrible evening. He actually rather liked it when Tseng spent time with him and it wasn’t work related. But it wasn’t what he’d planned on, and that irked him slightly.

Still… he’d come away from it with a new coat, heavy boots for when fall faded into winter, gloves, scarves, hats. All sorts of things… many of which he’d always had to do without before the Turks.

It still struck him as odd how unconcerned Tseng always was about such things. Down below, if he needed new clothes, Reno’d had a few options for obtaining them. He could skip a few meals and buy them, assuming he could get them at a decent price. He could trade for them. Or he could scavenge them… which nine times out of ten was what he ended up doing because he usually had fuck all to trade, and frankly he’d rather walk around naked than not eat.

Tseng, though… if Reno needed something – not just wanted it, but legitimately needed it – he simply bought it for him. It was a concept the former slum rat occasionally still had trouble wrapping his head around.

As much as he was afraid to admit it, a part of him wondered when that sort of treatment would end. He wasn’t under any illusion that Tseng would be his caretaker forever… but he couldn’t help but wonder how much longer he had to enjoy it. He never would have admitted that, either, but he did enjoy it. For the first time in a very long, he was able to just be a kid on occasion, and he’d been surprised to discover just how big of a relief that could be. He loved it here in Tseng’s apartment.

And he knew it couldn’t last. He was seventeen now… in less than a year, he’d be eighteen, and of age. And then he’d be on his own.

Well… alright, maybe that was being just a little melodramatic, now that he thought about it. He’d still be a Turk, and he’d sill be under Tseng’s command. But he wouldn’t be the Turk lieutenant’s ward any longer. He might not even still be a rookie by then. The caretaking would cease, and he’d have to go back to taking care of himself. He felt a little bit of dread at that thought.

And really… it might come even sooner than he feared. Tseng had explained that Hell Week was an evaluation period for rookies, used to determine not just deficiencies in their training but also how much more they needed before they graduated to full-fledged Turk. What if he did too well during his own Hell Week, and Tseng decided to boot him out on his own, then and there?

The redhead sighed and rolled over to the side of the bed. He worked his way out from under the blankets, and leaned over the edge, thrusting a hand into the shadows beneath him and feeling around for a moment. At last his fingers encountered the smooth surface of a small cardboard box. Reno grinned and pulled it out of its hiding place and under the covers with him, opening the top and inhaling deeply.

The sweet scent of chocolate baked goods greeted him, and he shoved a hand into the narrow opening, drawing out a few of the cookies.

“Mmm…” he moaned, happily, ignoring the sudden knock on his door. He helped himself to another one, and then another. They crunched satisfyingly as he bit into them.

“Reno…” a voice beside him suddenly said. The redhead immediately stopped chewing. “I believe we’ve discussed this. No food in bed.”

“Mmph…” he grunted, struggling to swallow the large mouthful of sweets. “What food?” he finally managed to mumble around it, before trying again. It went down hard and somewhat painfully. A crumb wedged itself in the back of his throat and he suddenly found himself trapped in a momentary coughing fit. Tseng pulled back the covers.

“… ‘What food,’ indeed…” he snorted softly, shaking his head with a smile. He reached out and took the box from the redhead. “If you’re that hungry, why don’t you simply get up and eat breakfast?”

“‘Cause it’s Saturday, and I’m not gettin’ up ’til I absolutely have to,” he shot back.

“Well, you’re not going to lay there getting crumbs all over the bed all morning, either.”

Reno glared slightly, but didn’t press the issue. “Okay, fine…” he sighed. “There a reason you’re in here lookin’ for contraband snack foods at…” He paused to glance over at the clock. “… nine in the mornin’?”

“Actually, yes,” Tseng replied, chuckling, “I came to inform you that I will be gone until tomorrow evening. And that I trust I will return to find both you and the apartment in the same condition I left them.”

The rookie cocked his head to one side, curiously. “What’s up? Veld makin’ you work on your day off or somethin’? I can come, too, if ya need a hand. I don’t really have plans…”

Tseng cleared his throat softly. “… No. I… It seems that Viridia unexpectedly has some time off this weekend, and –”

“Heh… yeah. You probably don’t need my help with that…” he cut in, in a suggestive tone. Fuck… apparently everyone was getting laid this weekend except him. He’d have to see what he could do about that.

“… No, I most certainly do not,” he agreed, fixing the redhead with a slightly annoyed glare. It soon faded. “There’s food in the refrigerator, but I’ve left money on the kitchen counter if you’d prefer not to cook. Your curfew is still ten o’clock whether I am here or not, and should there be an emergency, Saya is aware that you’re here alone. Call her first, as she can get here far sooner than I’ll be able to.”

Reno snickered quietly.

“Uh… Boss? Ya know I lived on my own for like… seven years, right? I think I can manage to not kill myself or burn the place down for a whole two days.”

“Try not to get arrested again, either, if you please,” the Wutaiian replied, teasing him slightly.

“Can’t promise anything,” the redhead replied with a yawn, sitting up and stretching.

“Reno…”

“It was a joke!” he quickly protested, raising his hands in surrender. “Geez… grow a sense of humor already, Tseng. I was just kiddin’. Go have fun. I’ll be fine.”

Tseng eyed him a moment longer, before nodding and turning to go.

“Call Saya immediately if there’s anytrouble…” he called back over his shoulder. Reno just rolled his eyes and pulled the covers back over his head. A moment later his hand poked out and reached under the bed again, hauling up a second hidden box of cookies. He grinned as he opened it.

“And no eating in bed!” Tseng’s voice chastised him from the living room before he could seize hold of one of the tasty treats.

“Tch… Not psychic, my ass…” he muttered under his breath, and tucked the box back under the bed.

---

Rude woke to the sensation of soft lips nibbling on his earlobe and a warm body pressed pleasingly against his own. He tightened his grip around his bedmate’s waist, and nuzzled his check against her bare shoulder.

“Morning…” Margret whispered, her voice silky and soft. She kissed him, and Rude gently rolled over, pulling her along with him until she was on top of him. He smiled, still somewhat sleepy.

“Hi.”

She giggled and focused her attention on his collarbone, drawing a faint moan from her lover. Rude was content to lay back and let her do whatever she wanted to him. Last night might very well have been the best night of his life.

He’d been half-terrified when dinner had was over and they’d moved on to the couch, and then into the bedroom. He’d tried not to let it show just how nervous he’d been, but Margret had seen right through him… and it hadn’t bothered her. Hell, he’d brought the evening to crashing halt the second she touched him, and she’d simply smiled and gone back to lavishing him with kisses until he was ready to try again. After that minor humiliation things had gotten a lot less nerve-wracking and a lot more enjoyable.

“So… Are your breakfasts as good as your dinners?” Margret asked, her breath tickling the side of his neck.

“Definitely,” Rude replied, grinning.

“Are they as good as your… desserts?” she teased.

“… Guess that depends on how well you liked dessert.” His tone was lighthearted, but he did have to admit to being more than a little curious about what she’d thought of… him. He didn’t exactly have a lot of experience to draw upon in that department.

She giggled again. “Oh… I liked it. In fact, I wouldn’t mind having seconds of that before breakfast…”

---

Reno sighed and rested his chin on his palm as he leaned against the armrest of the couch. He groaned as the picture on the TV turned unrecognizable again. Scrambled porn really wasn’t doing it for him this morning. Too bad Tseng didn’t pay for the actual channels. He’d have been finished ages ago if he could get a decent signal for more than five seconds.

It was times like this he missed having Lira around. She was always up for some fun. Even if she’d been working all night, she rarely turned him down. He supposed he’d actually gotten a little spoiled by that. He had a lot more of just about everything up here on the Plate… but the one thing he had a lot less of seemed to be sex. He grinned slightly and closed his eyes. Lira was fucking amazing. Incredible body… incredible tongue… Dear Ifrit, the things that woman’s tongue could do. Izzy was a lot of fun, but she had nothing on Lira.

The redhead moaned out loud as his entire body convulsed with the force of his release. Moments later, it was over and he slumped back against the cushions, satiated.

“Heh… Who needs porn, anyway?” he snickered and groped beside him for the remote. He switched channels before shutting the television off, and dragged himself to his feet, heading off to the bathroom to clean up.

Well… that was one item off his to-do list for today. It wasn’t a particularly long list, to be honest. He was kind of making it up as he went. At the moment, it contained only three items. Breakfast… jack off… shower. Not that he was especially productive on the weekends to begin with, but he had to admit… without Tseng here to nag him, he was being downright lazy. Even breakfast had been put on hold in favor of item number two. He really needed to step up his game this afternoon.

Reno stripped as he went, leaving a trail of clothing behind him, and climbed into the shower, cranking up the heat until it was just shy of scalding. That was another perk of being Plateside. Fucking hot water. Not room temperature. Not luke-fucking-warm. Hot. As much of it was he could use, whenever he wanted it.

The redhead sighed in content and let it wash over him for a few minutes, before finally reaching for the soap and scrubbing himself down. When he was done, he climbed out and toweled off, wiping a hand across the fog-covered mirror, and gazing at his own reflection. His hair was getting long again. Not that he really gave a shit about his appearance in general, but it did tend to get annoying when it wouldn’t stay out of his eyes.

He’d kept it fairly short for as long as he could remember for that very reason. Maybe he ought to just let it grow out. Then he could tie it back like Tseng did and not have to worry about it.

Reno shrugged and hastily ran a comb through the tangled mess before wandering back to his bedroom for fresh clothes. Then he made his way out to the kitchen. As promised, an envelope sat on the counter, and the rookie opened it to find two hundred and fifty gil tucked neatly inside.

“Fuck, Tseng… How much you think I’m gonna eat in forty eight hours?” he snickered to himself. Sure, he was frequently referred to as a human garbage disposal by the rest of the team, but for Ifirt’s sake…

He shrugged and tossed it back onto the counter and went to poke around in the fridge. No sense ordering shit when there was plenty to fill him up right here. Maybe he’d buy lunch, though. He could never say no to pizza. It had very quickly become his new favorite food.

Reno quickly piled some leftover chicken, some pasta, some sliced green peppers… along with anything else that looked vaguely appetizing, into a bowl and grabbed a fork. Sidestepping his discarded clothes, he walked out into the living room and plopped down onto the couch and turned on the TV.

The redhead grinned to himself. Technically he wasn’t supposed to eat out here anymore than he was supposed to eat in his room, but by now, Tseng was probably halfway to Junon and what his mentor didn’t know wouldn’t hurt him. He put his feet up on the coffee table and dug into his bizarre little concoction as he channel surfed.

---

It was just after noon, and Rude was alone again. Margret had to cover for a friend at work this weekend, and their morning after together had ended just moments ago.

Rude had always been a bit of a loner. He had friends back in Rocket Town growing up, of course… but honestly, none of them had been close friends. He’d never felt like they really understood him very well. Here in Midgar, though… here, he’d found not one, but two people he connected with on a level he could hardly begin to describe. Margret… and Reno. And it was wonderful.

He grinned silently to himself, wondering if his friend’s evening had gone as well as his had. He knew perfectly well what the other teenager had planned. After a few minutes he grabbed his PHS from the table, and dialed Reno’s number. He answered on the second ring.

“Soooo? How’d it go?” the younger teen asked without preamble. “You still a virgin?”

Rude snorted a soft laugh. Trust that to be the very first question out of the redhead’s mouth…

“… I don’t kiss and tell,” he replied, shaking his head in amusement.

“Oh, come on, you asshole! You can’t just torture a guy like that. I’ve been dyin’ here, waitin’ to hear from you. You get laid last night or what?!”

“Hmph… Did you?” he teased in reply.

“No, as a matter of fact. Which really sucks for me. Now let me live vicariously through you already…” the other rookie replied, snickering.

“You up to anything today?” Rude asked instead.

“If I were do you think I’d be all but begging to hear about your evening?”

“Wanna grab some lunch?”

“Hell, yeah!” he responded, enthusiastically. “Hey, Tseng’s gone for the weekend. Why don’t you head over here, and I’ll cook for you for a change?”

“… Thought you didn’t cook?” Rude said, somewhat uncertainly. If he remembered correctly, Reno had described his cooking as tasting ‘like death’. That didn’t sound especially promising.

“Eh… Tseng can’t cook for shit, either, so I’ve been practicin’. Come on… worst case scenario, it sucks and we order a pizza instead.”

Rude laughed quietly. “Alright. I’m on my way.”

---

Worst case scenario, he’d said. We’ll order a pizza, he’d said.

Rude moaned faintly as he tried to catch his breath in between bouts of vomiting. He didn’t know what was in that… ‘food’… but right now, he was half-convinced he was dying.

It had started out innocently enough. Reno had thrown together burgers and was just finishing them up when Rude had arrived. And to be fair, they actually hadn’t tasted terrible. Not great, either, but alright… especially considering the redhead’s lack of ability in the kitchen. It was a good effort.

And then, things had taken a turn for the worse. That had to have been close to an hour ago. In that time, he hadn’t been able to move from his position on the floor, hunched over the toilet. Every few seconds, his stomach would resume its mission to eject the entirety of its contents… or possibly turn itself inside out. He wasn’t quite sure at this point, as much of the effort resulted only in increasingly painful dry heaving.

Rude shakily groped for the lever and flushed the current aftermath, only to be hit with a fresh wave of nausea moments later. He moaned again.

“… Uh… h-hey,” Reno’s voice said from the hallway, “So… Tseng said to call you first if there was a problem. Well, I… kinda got a problem.”

It took him a moment to realize, in his somewhat dazed state of mind, that his friend was on the phone, rather than talking to him.

“Nah, nothin’ like that. I’m fine, but… um… I think I mighta maybe… accidentally poisoned Rude.” He paused for a few seconds, apparently listening to the other person’s reply. “Yeah… ‘kay. See ya in a few. Thanks.”

Soft footsteps entered the bathroom, and and a hand came to rest between his shoulder blades.

“Hang in there, pal… Saya’s on her way over.”

Rude spared a momentary glance up at his friend, flashing him a accusing look. The redhead cringed.

“I’m really sorry…” he added.

“How are you not sick, too?” Rude groaned, letting his forehead rest on the cool toilet seat. “You ate twice as much…”

“Tch… please. My stomach can handle anything. If spendin’ half my life eatin’ cripshays didn’t kill me, a little bad burger meat won’t do shit.”

“Oh, god…” he whimpered at the mention of snacking on one of those ugly little creatures from the slums, and quickly started heaving again. He’d heard that people sometimes ate them in the poorer sectors, but he’d never really believed it. Reno rubbed his back, comforting him as best he could until it stopped again.

“Uh… heh… maybe I should quit talkin’ about the shit I used to eat as a kid, huh…”

“At least… I’m not… gonna die a virgin…” Rude panted in response.

---

Reno sighed and stared down at his ankles. He was presently sitting cross-legged on the couch in the living room, having been chased off by Saya, and, somewhat unexpectedly, Dr. Ward, whom the senior Turk had dutifully brought with her.

He felt terrible. And not because of his horrendous cooking. Rude was sick because of him. He sighed again and hugged his knees against his chest, resting his chin on top of them.

Why couldn’t he have been the one to end up puking his guts out? Why’d it have to be Rude? He’d asked him over in part to hear about how his date with Margret had gone, but also to help him keep his mind off his impending Hell Week. It wasn’t supposed to turn out like this.

“Oh, dear Shiva… dinnae tell me yer feelin’ sick now, too…”

The redhead looked up as Saya made her way over to him, a look of concern on her face. He shook his head.

“No. Just feelin’ like the biggest asshole on the fuckin’ planet. How’s Rude?”

Saya smiled and took a seat next to him. “He’ll be alright in a few days. Just a wee bit o’ food poisonin’, accordin’ ta the Doc. Needs some rest is all. Yer sure yeh feel alright? Tseng’d have my head if I left a sick rookie on his own, ‘n I think Rude’ll fare better in his own bed ‘stead ‘o yers, so I’m takin’ him home in a few minutes.”

“Yeah… I’m fine.”

“What in Odin’s name did yeh feed the poor boy, anyway?” Saya chuckled softly. Reno sank down in his seat.

“… I made burgers. I guess maybe the meat’d been sittin’ around too long.” He shrugged slightly. “Never bothered me eatin’ something that was a little past its prime. I didn’t even think twice about it…” He looked up at her, imploringly. “How pissed at me is he?”

“I think he’s too poorly just now ta be anything other’n nauseous, ta be honest…” she snickered in reply. Reno groaned and hugged his knees tighter. Saya leaned in and put her arm around him. “Oh, now… I’m sure he’s not angry with yeh. Yeh didnae do anything on purpose. No need ta fret. Rude’ll be back on his feet in no time.”

From the hallway, Reno heard the sound of a door opening and then closing again. A moment later, Dr. Ward appeared in the corridor. She quickly zeroed in on the pair and walked over to them.

“He’ll be alright ta travel, I think. That anti-emetic I gave him seems ta be settling his stomach nicely. For the time being, anyway. I doubt this is over for him quite yet. Yeh can take him home now.”

Saya grinned and ruffled Reno’s hair before standing up and hurrying off to collect the other rookie. She returned shortly, escorting Rude slowly towards the door. The redhead got to his feet as well, and accompanied them.

“I’m really, really sorry…” he said.

Rude groaned softly, clutching his stomach.

“… I’m never eating your cooking again.”

“… Yeah. That’s probably for the best,” he replied, guiltily, “Just… feel better, ‘kay?”

His friend nodded and Saya gently guided him out the door. After a few steps, Rude glanced back at him and forced a grin.

“At least you got me out of Hell Week for awhile…”

~end chapter 29~