Desha's Reno of the Turks Fan Fiction

Chapter 8: When Valentine’s Day Attacks

The after-work crowd seemed to have descended on The Phoenix Nest en masse, filling the tiny bar to capacity. Waitresses were hurrying between tables, hustling to keep the customers happy, and the bartender seemed to be constantly in motion. Reno polished off his third beer of the night, and motioned for a fourth. Another workday was over, and, tomorrow being Friday, the weekend stretched out enticingly, just waiting for him make it through that pesky last day of the week. All in all, Reno was in a pretty damned good mood.

“Hey, Rude,” he said, grinning widely, and poking his drinking buddy and fellow-Turk in the ribs, “Valentine’s day is tomorrow… Spendin’ it with anyone in particular?”

“Nope.”

“Valentine’s Day is just another excuse for the greeting card companies to turn a profit,” Elena grumbled, irritably nursing a wine cooler. She hadn’t really wanted to go out after work, but Reno had insisted despite her protests. Ever since their week on the island, he’d been a lot less of an asshole and a lot more… Reno. And frankly, she’d discovered that she actually enjoyed Reno’s company when he was just being himself and not intentionally trying to piss her off, humiliate her, or otherwise drive her out of her mind. So it wasn’t that she didn’t want to be there. Finally being included socially was great. She just wasn’t in the best of moods tonight.

“Aw, you only say that because you were hopin’ to spend it with the boss. I told ya, just ask him yourself, and he’d probably say yes… but did you listen? No. You went off into your little fantasy world, thinkin’ maybe he’d come and sweep you off your feet like the guys in those lame-ass romance novels you’re always readin’. It’s pathetic, ‘Lena.”

“…” Rude inched slowly away from the redhead, suspecting that his mouth was going to get him into trouble. He loved Reno like a brother, but drunk-Reno definitely had a problem with knowing when to shut the hell up. And tonight, he just couldn’t seem to stop goading the rookie Turk. As for Elena… well, the rookie was quickly learning to stand up for herself. This was not going to end well.

“Fuck, we all know you’ve kinda got a thing for him… If you didn’t turn into such a babbling idiot when he’s around, you might even have a chance with him…”

“Shut up, Reno,” Elena snapped. Rude mentally echoed her words, though more pleadingly, willing his friend to drop it before he took it too far. But he had a feeling that Reno was intent on this direction of conversation, and he wasn’t about to try and get in the middle of it. Instead, Rude sat back and watched, mesmerized. It was a bit like a train wreck.

“Seriously, ‘Lena! You should see yourself when you try to talk to him. It’s hilarious!” he continued… Reno was definitely buzzed by this point, what few inhibitions he had squashed flat and long forgotten, and was utterly oblivious to the glare Elena was casting at him, “I’ve never seen anyone get so tongue-tied…”

This wasn’t going to be pretty, Rude was sure. Granted, Elena and Reno had been a lot more friendly toward one another after being disciplined and stranded on an island for a week… but sometimes, no matter how much you liked the guy, Reno occasionally just made you want to smack him. The redhead knew it, too… and seemed to thrive on the fact.

“I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again,” Reno added, turning to face her, “Don’t act so weak.”

Rude suppressed a groan. That was definitely the last straw; he could see it in her eyes. He ducked, just in case. Reno didn’t.

A hard right hook caught the redhead completely unprepared, and sent him tumbling off his bar stool. He watched, slightly dazed and sprawled on the floor, as Elena stormed out of the bar. It wasn’t until she was out of sight that Rude deemed the situation safe once more. He grabbed his fallen friend by the collar of his jacket and wordlessly hoisted him back onto his seat.

“Was it something I said?” Reno asked, with a lopsided grin.

---

‘Roses are red, but this one is white. I’m sorry that I made you punch me last night. I’ll make amends, I promise you. Just don’t hit me again… My eye’s still black and blue.’

Elena snorted in quiet laughter as she read the card affixed to the stem of the single white rose. It had been waiting for her on her desk when she’d come in to work. Reno’s untidy scrawl was unmistakeable, as was his signature brand of humor.

Truth be told, she’d felt awful about hitting him like that… once her initial anger had finally had a chance to abate, that is, which was quite some time later. And much as she hated to admit it – and she really hated to admit it – Reno had been right. Obnoxious, but right. She should have asked Tseng out for Valentine’s Day herself, and yes… she did tend to babble like an idiot when she attempted to speak to the Wutaiian Turk in anything less than a professional capacity. She didn’t really appreciate having that pointed out to her, however.

Elena lifted the rose from its little glass vase and inhaled its sweet scent, smiling.

It was kind of sweet of him to apologize for it… Especially given that she was pretty sure that she was the one who should be doing the apologizing.

“So… Am I forgiven? Or should I go into hiding for a few more days?” a voice drawled from the doorway. Elena snapped out of her reverie and looked up. Reno’s head was peeking cautiously around the door frame of the main office shared by the four members of the Turks. His left eye was ringed by large bruise that had turned a hideous shade of bluish-purple overnight.

“Oh, god… Reno!” Elena gasped, “A-are you alright? I… I didn’t realize I’d hit you that hard!”

“Tch… You’ve got a helluva right hook, rookie,” Reno said, looking relieved that she wasn’t still angry, as he stepped fully into the office, “But I’m pretty sure I’ll live. ‘Sides… you know how easy I bruise. It looks worse than it really is, and it’ll be gone by Monday.”

“You’re sure?” she asked, not entirely convinced.

“Yeah, it’ll be fine…” Reno said, waving her off as she got up from behind the desk, “Listen… If we’re back on good terms again, I had an idea I wanted to run past you.”

“An… idea?” Elena queried, not sure where this was going.

“Yep. We still owe Tseng for his little camping trip from hell, ya know. It’s been weeks, and we haven’t tried anything. Though I gotta admit, it’s been fun watching him jump at shadows expectin’ at least one of us to do something in retaliation. But I think he’s finally let his guard down. Now’s our chance for some payback,” said Reno, sadistic intent in his eyes.

“I… I don’t know, Reno…” Elena replied, “I mean… it’ll just get us into trouble again.”

It was true that she’d agreed to “join” Reno after their forced camping trip, but the heat of the moment had long since passed, and she was beginning to think that she’d been a little hasty.

“Heh… Gettin’ cold feet, ‘Lena?” Reno grinned knowingly. He was hardly surprised. In fact, he’d been expecting this. Elena was still at the point of testing the waters of her position with the Turks. She was a lot more confident than she’d been in the beginning, but stepping out of line – even thinking about stepping out of line – still unnerved her, and Reno knew it. Which was why he’d included something much too tempting for her to pass up in his plans.

“W-Well…”

“What if I told you that by the end of it, you’ll be having a nice candlelit dinner with Tsengy-kins on Valentine’s Day?”

Oh, yeah… That got her attention, alright. He could literally see her beginning to crack.

“This… doesn’t sound like much of a prank… What’s the plan?” she asked, narrowing her eyes at him.

Bingo.

“I am ever so glad you asked,” Reno said, impishly.

---

“What happened to you?” Tseng asked upon spying his second-in-command reclined on the sofa in the Turk’s private lounge, an ice pack held over his eye. Reno lifted the ice away, revealing the deep purple bruise it was covering.

“Long, boring story, Boss. I doubt you’d be interested,” he muttered. Tseng sighed, wondering just how much trouble Reno’d managed to get himself into last night, and where said trouble had occurred. On the bright side, he hadn’t gotten any late-night calls from Rude informing him that the redhead was in the emergency room, so apparently the injury was as superficial as it looked.

“Try me,” he dead-panned, his arms folded across his chest. It wasn’t a request.

“Tch… I pissed off ‘Lena, that’s all,” Reno replied, with an offhanded shrug. Tseng cocked an eyebrow.

“I should have known having the two of you on civil terms was just too good to be true,” he noted, “What happened?”

“Heh… I forgot to duck,” the redhead said, smirking.

“I meant,” Tseng patiently spelled out, “What did you do to make her angry enough punch you in the face?”

Reno opened his mouth to reply, but it was at that moment the very topic of conversation herself walked into the lounge, shot an icy glare at Reno, stormed across the room and poured herself a cup of coffee.

“Mornin’, ‘Lena!” Reno said cheerfully. Elena pointedly ignored him, picked up her coffee, and stormed back out of the room. Tseng groaned inwardly. Weeks of peace and quiet… weeks in which he had dared to hope that the feud between his two Turks had ended permanently… all brought to an end in a single night. He could already feel the familiar headache beginning.

---

“Damn, ‘Lena… That was a hell of a performance. For a minute there, even I was convinced you were ticked at me,” Reno said, grinning madly as he slipped into the elevator alongside the rookie Turk. Elena shyly smiled at the compliment.

“You really think Tseng bought it?”

“Hell, yeah he bought it!” Reno laughed, “You shoulda seen his face. Almost made me feel sorry for him…”

“So… what’s next?”

“Next, we enlist a little outside help…”

“Outside help?” Elena asked.

“Heh… El Presidente’s secretary owes me a favor. I plan on calling it in.”

“The president? W-what are you going to do?” She was suddenly not liking the direction this was taking. A joke on Tseng, was one thing… but getting the President of Shinra involved? Did Reno have a death wish or something?

“Relax, ‘Lena…” Reno replied, “It’s nothin’ that’ll get us in any real trouble… ‘cept maybe with Tseng, when he finds out we’ve been messin’ with him. I just need to borrow a little stationary, that’s all. Can’t forge a direct order from the President without his personal stationary, ya know…”

---

“What’s up, Boss?” Reno drawled, sauntering into Tseng’s office.

‘Right, on cue,’ he thought to himself, spying the sheet of paper in Tseng’s hand. He, of course, already knew exactly what it said, having personally composed it not forty minutes ago… and quite expertly forged Shinra’s signature, if he did say so himself. Moments later, Elena joined the little group, narrowing her eyes coldly at Reno, but otherwise ignoring him.

“You wanted to see me, sir?” she asked Tseng, in her most professional voice.

“I have an assignment for the two of you,” he replied.

‘Oh, so predictable,’ Reno mused silently, ‘A little hostility in the ranks, and his natural reaction is to force us to work together. Tseng, you’re walkin’ right into our hands…’

“One of our researchers has been selling company secrets. The President wants him neutralized. Immediately,” Tseng continued, apparently oblivious to Reno’s inner monolog. He handed him a dossier… a dossier, that Reno and Elena both knew to be a complete forgery. The man in the file didn’t exist… had never existed. That part had been a calculated risk on his part. If Tseng’s suspicions had been aroused, and he’d dug around in the company records to verify the information, it would have been immediately apparent that the file was a fake. But using an actual employee file was completely out of the question. Having an innocent employee end up dead just because Tseng inconveniently happened to run into them before the joke got to the punchline wasn’t something he was willing to chance. Fortunately, it seemed that Reno’s little ruse had been convincing enough. Tseng had accepted the file at face value.

“Yes, sir,” Elena replied, as Reno accepted the folder. Tseng eyed Reno, pointedly.

“No problem, Boss,” he said with an indifferent shrug, “We’ll have it taken care of by quittin’ time.”

“Then get going,” said Tseng, dismissing the two Turks. Elena turned sharply, and strode smartly out the door. Reno gave Tseng a casual wave and followed suit, not in any particular hurry.

“And now the fun begins…” said Reno, as soon as they were out of earshot.

---

Sector 4 of the Plate was largely reserved for the most respectable and upscale businesses of upper Midgar. It was where one could find high-end hotels, five-star restaurants, elaborate shopping plazas, and elite department stores. It was where high society spent their time. And their money.

And it was where Reno and Elena were casually making their way through the waves of pedestrians busily window shopping on the main street.

“Ok, Reno…” Elena finally said, as she hurried to keep up, “What’s the deal… you still haven’t filled me in on the details!”

“I know, I know… just hold on a little longer. Soon as we get where we’re goin’, I’ll explain everything.”

They moved quickly along the street, Elena practically having to jog to keep up with Reno’s longer stride and his effortless ability to slip in and out of the throngs of people that surrounded them. Suddenly, he stopped short in front of a large glass revolving door. He grabbed her by the wrist, and pulled her inside.

“R-Reno… This is…”

“Pretty swanky, huh?” Reno grinned. Swanky was an understatement. Elena gazed around at the huge lobby of the The Silver Swan… easily the most expensive hotel in upper Midgar. Plush carpeting spread out in a wine-colored swath leading to a huge polished marble staircase. Deep gray stone columns flanked it on either side. The uncovered portions of the floor were of the same stone, and the walls were paneled with beautifully rich cherry hardwood. A trio of crystal chandeliers hung from the high ceiling, bathing the entire room in soft golden light.

A man in a very expensive-looking suit was rounding the concierge’s desk, making a beeline for the two Turks, whom, Elena belated realized, must have looked horribly out of place. Especially Reno, with his unkempt hair, sloppy appearance… and very noticeably bruised face.

“Can I help you, sir,” the man asked, his tone clearly indicating that he felt the two of them didn’t belong in the general vicinity of the hotel, much less in its lobby.

“You can drop the snotty upper class act, Kel,” Reno grinned, “I’m not tryin’ ta get in her pants.”

Elena blinked as the man immediately assumed a friendly expression, grinning right back at the redhead as if he’d known Reno all his life.

“Seriously? You walk in with this pretty little thing on your arm and you’re not plannin’ on makin’ her your Valentine? And what the hell happened to your eye, yo?” the man – Kel, apparently – replied, his whole demeanor changing.

“She happened,” Reno replied, shooting a half-hearted glare at his partner in crime.

“Yeah? Well, knowing you, ya probably deserved it,” Kel smirked, turning to Elena, “Somethin’ he did or somethin’ he said? My money’s on somethin’ he said.”

“That would be a safe bet,” Elena said, immediately beginning to like this friend of Reno’s. Kel laughed, and ushered the pair of them into the back office.

” ‘Lena, this is Kel Volkman. Ya know, Kel… I swear, the longer ya work here, the more pompous you sound when you’re pretendin’ to kick me out. One of these days, it’s gonna be permanent.”

“Ugh… don’t even joke about that,” Kel replied, rolling his eyes. The tone of voice and expression on the man’s face now so completely contradicted his professional attire that Elena had to try very hard not to burst out laughing, “So… if you’re not with Reno, you lookin’ for a date tonight? ‘Cause I’m free and I’ve got my choice of rooms… We could have some fun…” He waggled his eyebrows at her suggestively.

Elena blushed. Reno’s own frequent joking innuendo aside, she wasn’t exactly used to being hit on quite so blatantly.

“Reign it in, Kel… Elena’s off limits,” Reno replied before she could say anything. His tone wasn’t threatening towards the other man, but it also didn’t leave any room for argument. Kel tilted his head in acknowledgment.

“Elena. Elena…” he mused, “Oh, right! So you’re the rookie, huh?”

“Er… Yeah,” Elena replied, confused as to how the man knew that.

“Ha… Now I get it,” Kel replied, and Reno rolled his eyes, “Reno talks about ya. Much as he’s allowed to say, anyway. You Turks are harder ‘n hell to pry information out of.”

Elena looked at Reno, surprised to discover that she was apparently a regular topic of conversation with his friends. She kind of had to wonder what exactly he said about her.

“Kel’s an old friend of mine… We hang out now and then,” Reno explained, “Known him since I was… what? ‘Bout ten or eleven?”

“Somethin’ like that, yeah,” Kel confirmed, as he pulled a bottle of a very expensive brand of beer out of the mini-fridge in his office and tossed it to Reno, before offering one to Elena as well, “We go way back.”

“No thanks,” she declined, with a smile, “So… You two grew up together?”

“Nah…” said Reno, uncapping the bottle on the edge of a filing cabinet, and taking a swig, “We were in a gang together. Well… we called it a gang, anyway. Mostly just a bunch of dumb kids with nothin’ better to do, though. And then Tseng came along and recruited me…”

“And I fucked around in the slums for awhile, until I decided to find something better…” Kel interjected.

“We met up again ’bout six years ago,” Reno finished, “Kel pretty much runs this place. Let’s me drop by on occasion. When I really wanna impress a date.”

“Like you’ve ever had trouble impressing a date?” Kel smirked.

“Uhhh… Ok, Reno. I give up. What are we doing here?” Elena finally asked.

“Oh yeah… Guess I better fill you both in on the rest of the plan,” said Reno.

---

Tseng glanced at the clock. It was nearing 4:00pm, and he hadn’t heard a word from Reno and Elena. They should have checked in by now. It was regulation on any mission that didn’t require a communications blackout. And now, just moments ago he’d tried first Reno’s PHS, and then Elena’s, but there had been no answer.

It was time, he knew, to start looking for them. He panned through his contact list and hit Rude’s number…

---

Reno glanced at the glowing screen on his phone. The log showed one missed call. The number belonged to Tseng.

“Looks like we’ve finally been missed,” he commented with a wry grin.

“How long until they find us, do you think?”

“Least another hour… I made sure our trail was obvious, but not too obvious.”

He and Elena were lounging quite comfortably in one of the hotel’s larger suites, after spending the last few hours in preparation for Tseng’s arrival. Reno had been feeding gil into the vibrating bed for the last twenty minutes. He shoved another coin in the slot and laid back, spread-eagle on the bed.

“Thiiiiis… iiiiiiis… fuuuuuckiiiiiing… aaaaawesoooome…” he said, intentionally drawing out the syllables to get the full effect, and causing Elena, who was putting the suite’s wide screen TV to good use, to giggle.

“Reno, if you stay on that thing much longer, you’re going to scramble your brain,” she jabbed. He stuck his tongue out at her, then moaned softly and closed his eyes, thoroughly enjoying the next five minutes.

“Awww…” He sighed as the timer ran out again, and sat up. He supposed it was for the best. Fun was fun, but Tseng would be arriving soon.

The first thing they’d have to do was neutralize Rude… as Reno had no doubt in his mind that Tseng would arrive with backup. For that purpose, he’d recruited Kel to keep an eye on the security monitors. Knowing the Turk leader, he would likely send Rude up along an alternate route to ensure that any major means of escape were covered. Trapping him in an elevator would be ideal… but barring that, Reno had other ways of keeping him from reaching the suite.

A knock at the door interrupted Reno’s thoughts, and he hurried to answer it.

“All set in here?” asked Kel, as he wheeled in a large cart laden with covered dishes.

“All set,” Reno confirmed, “Just give us a call when they get here, alright?”

Kel nodded, flashed Reno a grin, and headed back to his post at the front desk.

---

“Mr. Volkman? I believe you spoke to my associate earlier…”

“Ah yes,” Kel replied, turning his attention on the two men who had just entered, recognizing the taller, balder of the two instantly.

“And they’re here?”

“Yes, sir… as I told him,” he motioned to Rude, “… they arrived several hours ago. I sent them to this room,” Kel confirmed, handing over the electronic card key for the suite currently occupied by the two scheming Turks.

“Thank you… you’ve been most helpful.”

With that Tseng and Rude separated, and the Turk-leader mounting the stairs, as Rude stepped calmly into the elevator.

---

The phone in the suite rang.

“Finally!” Reno said with a gleeful cackle. He’d been waiting impatiently for the call, and practically leapt for the phone, seizing the receiver.

“Yeah?” he queried, then paused, listening to the response, “Sweet… thanks, man. I owe ya.”

He hung up the phone and turned to Elena, beaming with excitement.

“Show time. They’re on their way up. Kel’s gonna hold Rude in the elevator… Tseng’s all ours.”

“I’m ready,” Elena replied.

Reno had already shed his uniform in favor of something a little more intimidating… an all black leather ensemble that effectively concealed his more distinguishing features, padding his stature and hiding some of his natural lankiness. As Elena took up he own pre-determined position on the bed, he reached for the two items that would complete his costume; a long black trench coat, and a ski-mask. He withdrew a small object that fit neatly in the palm of his hand from a coat pocket – a slender cylinder with metal pin protruding from the top – double-checking that all was ready.

He grabbed a roll of duct tape, and Elena held out her arms, willingly letting Reno bind them together.

“Too tight?” he asked when he was finished. He needed it to be convincing, but he still wanted her to be able to get out of it with a little effort if she really needed to.

“No, I’m good,” she replied. He grinned and pulled a long strip of cloth from his pocket, tying it around her mouth as a gag.

“Heh… Wish me luck,” he said, giving his co-conspirator a mock salute. Without another word, he slipped into the hallway.

---

Back pressed to the wall, Tseng stood on the landing, weapon drawn. His senses were on high alert, despite the aura of calm determination he projected. He wasn’t entirely sure what to expect, but whatever it was, he knew it was coming soon. Only a set of ornate wooden doors stood between him and the main part of the floor. One hand soundlessly swung the closest door outward, and he peered around it. The corridor beyond appeared empty, though he was instinctively certain someone was waiting for him.

There was no hesitation as he stepped into the hallway. Trap or no, standing around doing nothing wouldn’t get him any closer to his targets. The Turk leader moved like a ghost, approaching the suite to which he’d been given the key, all the while wondering which direction the expected attack would come from.

He didn’t have to wonder for long. Something metallic clattered loudly against the tiled floor behind him, and a hiss filled the silent air. He whirled around taking aim at the shadow that disappeared around the far corner, but the gas hit him almost immediately, sending him reeling back, dazed. It was potent stuff, and very effective. Tseng swore under his breath as he felt his entire body growing heavy, his reflexes sluggish. Moments later, he slumped to the floor, out cold.

When the air cleared a few minutes later, Reno slipped out of his hiding place. He gently nudged the unconscious man with the toe of his boot, half expecting Tseng to seize him by the ankle and send him twisting painfully to the ground, as he had done numerous times in training matches against him. Reno hated that move. Even on the padded mats in the gym, it fucking hurt every time, and he seldom managed to effectively counter it.

But he wanted to make damn sure Tseng was out before he did anything else. It wouldn’t be the first time the senior Turk had used such a ruse to regain the upper hand. But the gas grenade seemed to have done it’s job and Tseng was down for the count.

“You’re makin’ this too easy, Boss,” he teased, as he gripped his commander under the arms and dragged him towards the suite.

---

Tseng fought the drowsiness that threatened to send him back to a dreamless oblivion, forcing his eyelids to open, and surveying the room. He was seated at a table laden with mouthwatering dishes, dual candles burning brightly on either side of a floral centerpiece. He noticed it was set for two.

He quickly took stock of his situation. Weapon… on the mantle of the large fireplace, well out of reach. Wrists… securely fastened to the arms of a sturdy wooden chair with even sturdier steel handcuffs. Backup handcuff key… had been removed from its concealed spot inside the cuff of his shirt. Ankles… duct taped to the legs of the aforementioned chair. Elena… bound and gagged on the bed several feet away from him. Damn.

The room was dimly lit, the lights turned down low… though whether that was merely for ambiance or to better conceal the whereabouts of his captor, Tseng wasn’t certain.

“Elena? Are you alright?” he asked, calmly. The rookie Turk nodded her head, wide-eyed.

“I haven’t hurt her… yet,” a rough, somewhat unnatural voice growled from behind him.

A figure slunk out of the shadows, plucking Tseng’s own gun from the mantle, and strolling over to the captive Turk. Holding her at gunpoint, he dragged her to her feet, forcibly propelling her into the chair opposite Tseng. The Turk leader frowned at the rough treatment of his subordinate.

“Now… we’re gonna have a little fun,” the other man said.

“Indeed, we are… Reno,” Tseng responded a ghost of a smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. His captor froze. It was clearly not the reaction he’d expected. In the dim light, Tseng saw the unmistakable “Oh shit,” expression in the other Turk’s eyes.

“Aw, come on! You’ve gotta be kidding!” Reno whined in his normal voice, “How the fuck could you possibly…”

It was right about that time that Rude made his appearance by means of the French doors that separated the suite from the balcony… looking decidedly intimidating.

“H-hey… come on, partner. It was just a joke,” Reno said, setting the gun down and raising his hands in surrender. Rude smirked. Reno knew better than to put up a fight now that he’d been found out. In a matter of seconds, he was pinned face-down on the floor, his arms behind his back, held firmly in place by his fellow Turk.

“Ow… not so rough, man! I give, already!” he groused as Rude pressed a knee into his lower back to keep him from moving as a pair of handcuffs were snapped onto his wrists and the ski-mask was whipped off his head.

“Reno… Elena… A word of advice. Never try to pull one over on me,” Tseng replied, fixing his gaze on each of them in turn, “Rude, if you would be so kind…”

He nodded toward his own handcuffs that held him to the chair. Rude left Reno where he was and released the Turk leader.

“Should I cut her loose, too?” he asked, glancing at Elena.

“By all means,” Tseng replied as he released his legs from their bonds, and then picked up the glass of wine that sat at his place-setting and took a sip. It really was quite good… but then, it was hard to find fault with Reno’s knowledge of alcoholic beverages. Rude pulled a knife from his pocket and flicked out the blade, neatly slicing through the tape that held the rookie’s arms bound. Elena quickly did away with the cloth that had been used to gag her on her own.

“I had it planned out perfectly, dammit!” Reno insisted, rolling awkwardly only his side so that he could face the others, “How? How the fucking hell did you know?”

“You’re good, Reno. But I’m better,” he replied half-teasingly, goading the younger Turk’s temper, “The ‘target’ you were to be sent after? That was your first mistake. For future reference, I personally confirm the identity of every target sent to the Turks. Even when it’s supposedly sent to me by the President himself.”

Reno groaned, and Tseng couldn’t suppress a quiet chuckle as his expense.

“Your second mistake,” he continued, “Was not noticing you were being followed. Really Reno… I’m surprised at you. I would expect such a rookie mistake from Elena, who is, in fact, a rookie. But you? Very careless, Reno. Not to your usual standard at all.”

“Rude…” Reno moaned, knowing full well who must have been tailing him, “You bastard. How could you?”

“Orders are orders,” he said with a shrug.

In Reno’s defense, Tseng couldn’t hold him entirely responsible for not catching Rude in the act. Rude was just as skilled and seasoned a Turk as Reno himself. The odds hadn’t been in his favor, particularly since Reno had believed no one was any the wiser to the plot.

“You also relied far too much on the loyalty of your friend downstairs,” Tseng added.

“Wha…? Oh, for fuck’s sake. Kel, too?” Reno lamented.

“I’m afraid so… It seems he shares your fondness for practical jokes, and was only too happy to help us turn the tables on you.”

Reno just responded by banging his head repeatedly against the floor. All his planning… All of the set-up… All for nothing. He was gonna kick Kel’s ass.

“But your biggest mistake was assuming that I had let down my guard,” said Tseng, looking quite uncharacteristically smug, “I know you far too well, Reno, to believe that you would let a matter of personal revenge simply drop.”

“S-sir… just how much trouble are we in?” Elena asked nervously.

“Hmm… That is the question, isn’t it?” he said, not wanting to let them off the hook just yet, “What do you think I should do with you?”

“Let us go with a slap on the wrist and forget this whole thing ever happened?” Reno suggested.

“Nice try, Reno,” Tseng dead-panned.

“Can’t blame a guy for tryin’.”

“No… I think I’ll use the situation to my advantage,” said Tseng, “Rude, take our wanna-be kidnapper back to headquarters. It seems only fair that since he’s been caught, spending the night in one of the detention cells is in order.”

“WHAT?!” Reno shrieked, as Rude tossed him effortlessly over his shoulder and began to carry him bodily out of the room, “Ah, son of a… Tseng, did anyone ever tell you that you’re an evil, vindictive bastard?!”

“The smallest cell, if you would, Rude,” he added in response, allowing himself the luxury of enjoying Reno’s dismayed groan. The redhead’s protests gradually faded as he was ‘escorted’ out of the room and down the hallway. Tseng then turned his attention on Elena, who swallowed apprehensively.

“Would I be correct in assuming that this was, primarily, Reno’s idea?” he asked.

“Well…” she began. It had been entirely his idea… but she didn’t like throwing Reno under the bus like that. After all, she’d been more than willing to go along with it. It wasn’t fair that he ended up taking all the blame.

“The truth, Elena,” he prodded, “Though I can certainly appreciate your loyalty.”

“Y-yes, sir. It was mostly Reno’s idea,” she admitted.

“And you went along with it because…”

“I… I… Well, I… just… wanted…” she stammered, searching for the right words. Tseng just looked at her with his usual unwavering patience, waiting for her to find them, “It… was because of the camping trip, sir.”

“Oh?”

“I… I just got to know him a lot better. And I found out that he’s… well… not what I thought. I guess we kind went from just working together to… I don’t know…”

“To being friends?” Tseng offered.

Elena glanced up somewhat shyly. “Y-yes sir.”

Tseng regarded her for a moment, letting her squirm a bit in her nervousness. Finally he relented.

“Good. It’s about time.”

“Sir?”

“Elena, as Turks we have to trust one another implicitly, and part of being a Turk is earning that level of trust from your compatriots. And to do that, you have to get to know a person.” He chuckled and shook his head, “Believe me, I’m well aware that Reno isn’t the easiest person to get close to. Most people take him at face value and don’t bother to look past the obvious. I’m glad to see that you’ve managed to make some progress in that regard,” he said, smiling warmly now.

Elena was so flustered by the comment that she couldn’t say anything in reply.

“Of course… you did still team up with Reno in this endeavor. I’m afraid I can’t let that go without some sort of reprimand,” Tseng added, and Elena inwardly groaned. She should have known he wasn’t going to let her off the hook just because it had been Reno’s idea. That was part of being a Turk, too… taking responsibility when you screwed up.

“Yes, sir,” she replied, chastened.

“Therefore, you will join me for dinner.”

Elena’s gaze shot up to his face, and she blinked in surprise. That was it? Reno was being carted off to a holding cell, and who knew what else, and her punishment was dinner with Tseng? She couldn’t believe her luck.

“Oh, no… don’t think you’re getting off that easily,” Tseng smirked, as if he’d read her mind, “I simply think it would be a shame to waste all the trouble Reno went to in setting this up. And it is Valentine’s Day, after all. Plan on working this weekend, however. Beginning tomorrow, you will be joining Reno on a week long guard detail. For Professor Hojo in the biologic research department. It should be a very… memorable… experience.”

Elena shuddered involuntarily. Hojo, though she’d only met him briefly in passing, was not one of her favorite people. And besides her initial impressions, she’d heard stories.

“Yes, sir,” she said, resigning herself to her fate.

“But don’t let that spoil the evening,” Tseng added, lifting the cover off of one of the dishes.

“No, sir,” she replied, perking up a bit and smiling. It wasn’t all bad. Reno had promised her a candlelit dinner with Tseng on Valentine’s Day, after all, and in spite of things not going quite according to plan, he’d delivered. And if it came at the price of having to spend a week in the company of Shinra’s creepiest scientist… well… Reno’d be right there with her, so she knew she’d be alright.

She decided to put tomorrow’s punishment out of her mind, and enjoy herself while she could. She picked up a fork, and mused over which of the dishes before her she should sample first.

“Elena?”

“Sir?”

“Happy Valentine’s Day.”

-fin-