Desha's Reno of the Turks Fan Fiction

Chapter 2: Elena’s Revenge

She’d been only faintly aware of strong arms carrying her through the dark, and distant voices whose words she couldn’t make out. Then, everything was softness and warmth, familiar scents, and silence. Elena woke in her own bed with no recollection of how she came to be there. Slowly, as wakefulness returned, memory began to filter through from the hazy depths of her mind. And with memory, also came righteous indignation.

“Reno…” she growled softly, sitting up in bed. That jerk. Now she remembered. He’d had her running in circles, doing everything for him all day yesterday, like a trained moogle. She’d cooked for him… she’d cleaned for him – Elena briefly shuddered at that particular memory – and to top it all off, he’d gotten her sick as well… and embarrassed her in front of Tseng. She punched a fist into her pillow.

“Awake, I see,” said a voice from the doorway, and Elena nearly jumped out of her skin.

“Apologies,” Tseng added, stepping into the room, “I didn’t mean to startle you.”

“S-sir..?” she squeaked out, blinking in confusion, and subtly pulling the covers up over her pajamas… which she realized belatedly that she hadn’t been wearing the last time she’d seen the Turk leader. Which meant that Tseng must have… Oh. She was grateful the room was still in shadows at such an early hour, because she was certain she must have turned an impressive shade of pink at that realization.

“I brought you home last night,” he replied, “I thought it best to stay until you were feeling more yourself again. Whatever Reno gave you hit you pretty hard. You were a bit… out of it.”

“Thank you, sir. I appreciate that,” she said, forcing down the awkwardness she felt… though by rights, it shouldn’t have bothered her. Even recruits were taught that Turks couldn’t afford excessive modesty. If you were captured, stripped naked and forced to fight your way out, you shouldn’t even have to think twice about it. Still, though…

It took her a moment to realize that she’d drifted off into her own thoughts, and now Tseng was speaking again.

“… giving you the day off. Reno will be here at eight sharp, and you have my permission to do with him as you see fit. Provided, of course, that he returns to work tomorrow in one piece, and preferably without any permanent psychological damage.”

“Sir? I get to decide what Reno’s punishment is?” she asked, wide-eyed, not certain she’d actually heard him correctly. Tseng chuckled softly.

“Yes, Elena… You are the injured party in this instance, and so it seems only fair that you exact a certain level of restitution. And frankly, Reno deserves it for taking advantage of you like that. I expect better of him. I trust you find that agreeable?”

“Yes, sir,” she said, allowing a grin to spread over her face. Oh, this was going to be good.

“Then I’ll leave you to it,” Tseng stated, as he turned to go, “… A word of advice. Reno is under orders to obey you, and he will do so. As much as he may act to the contrary, he’s earned his position in the Turks and respects the chain of command. But that doesn’t mean he won’t try and convince you otherwise. Don’t let him.”

“I won’t, sir.”

“Good,” he replied, “I’ll let myself out.”

With that, he was gone, leaving Elena to her thoughts. Moments later, she was out of bed, and rushing to dress and prepare. An entire day to exact revenge on Reno? She had some planning to do… and an errand to run before Reno arrived. Revenge was going to be sweet.

---

“Good morning, sir…” Elena addressed the Turks second-in-command as she ushered him into her living room at promptly eight in the morning. Reno glowered at her. What had he done to deserve this? Ok, sure… he’d taken things a little too far yesterday. And he definitely felt bad about having pushed her so hard knowing now that she’d been getting sick towards the end of the day. He wouldn’t have done that if he’d realized sooner. But really? Making him her slave for a day as payback? That seemed a bit much.

“Let’s just get this over with, ‘Lena,” he groused. He really didn’t like the look she was giving him.

“Absolutely,” she said with a smile, “And it’s Elena. You will call me by my right name for the rest of the day.”

“Fine. Elena.”

“Much better… now… put this on,” Elena added, thrusting a department store bag into Reno’s hands. She’d made a special trip as soon as she was presentable this morning. Reno rolled his eyes and peered into the bag, suddenly blanching at its contents.

“No. No way in hell,” he hissed. He tossed the bag onto the couch and folded his arms stubbornly across his chest.

---

“I hate you,” said Reno, “I really do.” He gave the filly, high-cut black skirt of the maid’s uniform a sharp tug down in a desperate attempt to show a little less thigh. He failed miserably. “I really, really hate you.”

Elena just smiled and straightened the lacy white apron.

“I think you look adorable,” she replied, looking him over. She was quite proud of herself. The look on Reno’s face when he realized what it was had been too perfect. And just as Tseng had assured her he would, he ultimately obeyed her order – under protest – which had made it even sweeter. Smothering a laugh, she handed him a pair of three-inch heels to go with the outfit. Reno scowled and snatched them from her hands, making a point of not even attempting to hide how he felt about this new humiliation as he put the shoes on.

“Here,” said Elena, thrusting a toothbrush into Reno’s hand, “You can start in the kitchen.” He muttered something Elena was pretty sure was rather unflattering under his breath, and stormed – or at least came as close to storming as he could in three-inch heels… he wobbled several times during the short journey, and pointedly ignored the snickering coming from across the room – into the kitchen and dropped to his knees next to the bucket of soapy water she’d left there for him.

‘Shoulda just told Tseng to let her shoot me. God, this is going to take all fucking day,’ Reno seethed, mashing the bristles of the toothbrush hard into the tile in irritation. Elena’s apartment was already spotless, from his point of view… This was the very definition of petty.

Worse than the pettiness itself, however, was that Tseng had actually given her permission to inflict this level of pettiness on him. Tseng had been ticked at him last night, to put it mildly. He’d gotten quite the lecture on violation of trust and treating the rookie like he had when her integration into the team was largely his responsibility. And then there was Rude… If he found out about any of this, he’d never let him live it down.

Reno stood, muttering curses under his breath, and picked up the bucket. He staggered to the next section of floor, fighting to maintain his balance in the shoes. ‘How the fuck do women walk in these things?!’ he asked himself as he nearly rolled his ankle.

---

At last he was finished. Every inch of tile had tasted his toothbrush-wielding wrath, and the toothbrush itself had been reduced to little more than stick. His knees ached terribly from having been crawling around the kitchen for the last four hours. Reno had to grip the counter to hoist himself to his feet. He gingerly walked out of the kitchen, using the wall as a support, as, between the ache in his legs and the damned shoes, he couldn’t guarantee he wouldn’t end up sprawled on the floor. He found Elena curled up in a chair, reading a book.

“I’m done. Can I take this off now, ‘Lena?” he asked gesturing to the outfit he wore. Elena glared at him. “Elena,” he quickly corrected himself.

“Nope,” she replied, lowering her gaze back to her book, and holding out a feather duster. Reno snatched it, and Elena grinned wickedly at the string of muttered profanities as he made his way over to one of the bookcases in the living room and began dusting. She peered over the top of the book and watched him. He looked utterly miserable. ‘Good,’ she thought.

Reno, meanwhile was beginning to wonder just how badly he’d underestimated the rookie. She had certainly never struck him as especially vindictive. He’d had her pegged as the type who was mostly willing to suffer in silence instead of standing up for herself – which, incidentally, was something he’d fully intended to train her out of as quickly as possible. Now he was seriously starting to reconsider his initial impression.

He had only been at his latest task a few minutes when a loud knock at the door pulled him from his thoughts.

“Answer that, would you Reno,” Elena called out from the chair.

“What?! Forget it!” Elena fixed him with a cold stare. ‘Goddammit, Tseng…’ he cursed silently.

“Fine,” he hissed through clenched teeth, “Maybe I’ll get lucky and it’ll be the friendly neighborhood serial killer.”

He teetered only slightly in the shoes as he moved toward the door, wondering if it was a good thing or a very, very bad thing that he was actually starting to get the hang of walking in these abominations. With a sigh of resignation, he twisted the knob and yanked open the door.

“Tseng!” he yelped in surprise, as he met the visitor’s gaze briefly before instinct took over and he attempted to dart behind the door. Not that it was going to do him a damn bit of good. The Turk leader had undoubtedly already gotten an eyeful. Unfortunately, he wasn’t quite as accustomed to the shoes as he’d thought. Reno felt his ankle twist painfully in the wrong direction, as he suddenly found himself falling face first onto the carpet. Tseng stepped casually into Elena’s apartment, carefully avoiding Reno’s prone form.

“I see you’re not having any trouble with him,” he said as Elena set her book aside and rose from her chair to greet him.

“No, sir… No trouble at all,” she replied.

“Oh, don’t worry about me… I’m just fine, everyone… Really…” Reno snarked from his position on the floor, his voice muffled by the carpet. Elena bit her lower lip so as not to begin a fit of laughter she couldn’t stop. Reno remained motionless on the floor, deciding he was more comfortable now than he’d been since this Ifrit-forsaken day had begun.

“Indeed…” said Tseng, ignoring Reno’s sarcasm with an amused smile, “I just thought I’d check in and see how things were going. It seems you have things well in hand, Elena.”

“T-thank you, sir,” she replied, somewhat flustered by the compliment. Tseng reached down and helped Reno to his feet. Reno glared at the pair for a moment before wordlessly limping back over to the shelves to resume his dusting, rather than stand around being ridiculed. His ankle throbbed with every step, and the wobbly heels didn’t help, but he ignored it.

“Try not to hurt him too badly, Elena… I want you both back on duty once Reno’s learned his lesson,” said Tseng.

“Yes, sir,” Elena replied, nodding. Tseng gave a soft laugh and shook his head.

“Rude is going to regret not coming with me when I tell him what you’ve got Reno wearing…” he added, with one final glance in Reno’s direction. Reno cringed. Tseng nodded a farewell to Elena and took his leave of them. Elena closed the door behind him and grinned to herself. Knowing Tseng approved made the sweet satisfaction she felt right at that moment so much more delicious.

She turned back toward Reno, snickering as she watched his display of alternating between limping and dusting as he moved around the room. Reno caught her watching out of the corner of his eye and gave an exaggerated whimper as he rested his weight on the injured ankle.

“Oh fine. You can take off the shoes… before you break your neck,” said Elena, smirking.

“Thank god,” Reno groaned in relief, as he gladly kicked the shoes off his feet and under the couch. He winced as the blood flow he hadn’t even realized had been cut off returned to his toes. ‘I need a drink,’ he thought to himself, wondering what Elena kept in the fridge.

“Wow… I hadn’t even realized it was after noon,” Elena said suddenly, interrupting Reno’s thoughts once again, “Go make us some lunch.”

“Yes, your majesty,” Reno grumbled, heading for the kitchen.

---

“Well, that figures,” he sighed, noting the distinct lack of alcoholic beverages in Elena’s kitchen. In fact, the contents of the refrigerator looked nauseatingly healthy and far too green for his taste. At last he found something that seemed at least vaguely edible… Egg salad. It was either that, or starve, and despite how his day was going, he wasn’t quite willing to starve himself to death just yet. But oh, what he wouldn’t have given for a burger, or a mountain of chili fries, or even a slice of week old pizza. But apparently, it was not to be. He slapped together two sandwiches, gathered a few other items from the pantry, and carried it all over to the table.

“Smile, Reno!”

He looked up just in time to be momentarily blinded by a bright flash of light.

“The fuck… ?”

Another flash. “No!” he shouted, the reality of the situation setting in. He could hear Elena giggling like a child as he blinked and rubbed his eyes, trying to get rid of the spots that now dotted his vision. That did it. He’d reached his limit. It was one thing to be subjected to outright humiliation while sequestered here in Elena’s apartment, but he’d be damned if there was going to be photographic evidence.

“That’s it! I’ve put up with you ordering me around all day… I cleaned, I humiliated myself, I made you lunch… I even wore this stupid outfit. But this ends now, dammit! Tseng can go shove this ‘punishment’ right up his ass, because I’m done!” Reno yelled, eying the PHS in Elena’s hand. He lunged for it, dreading what she might do with those pictures if he didn’t delete them. The rookie Turk let out a surprised yelp and dove out of the way just before Reno could tackle her, his own momentum sending him to the floor, where he landed face down, the wind momentarily knocked out of him. It had been a very near miss. Reno was scary fast, especially when he was angry, and Elena knew that, despite her own training, she wouldn’t be able to keep ahead of him for long. Before he could recover, she bolted, timing her steps to plant a foot firmly between Reno’s shoulder blades and slamming him hard into the floor again with a loud grunt. Elena disappeared into her bedroom, locking the door behind her, and hoping that he wouldn’t just break it down.

“Elena!” Reno’s voice sounded muffled through the door. “Get out here!”

---

‘Oh, crap… now what do I do?’ Elena thought. Well… at least he wasn’t so pissed off that he was going to start breaking things… but the cheap interior door lock wouldn’t keep Reno out for long. Sure enough, a moment later, he popped the lock and shoved the door open.

“Hand it over, Elena,” he growled, and Elena thought that he probably would have looked incredibly intimidating just then… were it not that he was presently dressed as a French maid. As it was, the image was so surreal she almost laughed. Almost. She was actually a little worried what he might do if she dared. She cautiously held her PHS out to him. Reno grabbed it from her, thumbed through the gallery, and deleted the offending images before wordlessly handing it back to her.

Mission accomplished, he turned on his heel, and stormed out of the bedroom, and then out of the apartment altogether. Just when she thought it safe to breathe a sigh of relief, laughter rang out from the hallway of Elena’s apartment building. Moments later, Reno slunk back into her apartment, slamming the door behind him.

“Alright… Now hand over my clothes…” he said in measured tones. Elena could plainly hear someone still laughing hysterically outside in the hall.

---

Tseng arrived at the office the next morning to find Reno sulking behind his desk. He tapped his watch, amazed to find that it was indeed still working.

“Reno… Are you aware you’re on time?” he asked with some surprise, “Early, in fact…”

“Damage control. I wanted to get here before Elena…” said Reno, yawning, “Just in case she decides that what she put me through yesterday wasn’t enough.”

“Don’t you think you’re being just a bit paranoid, Reno?”

Before Reno could answer, the door opened and in walked Rude. Upon seeing Reno, he paused for a moment, looked down at his watch, and then back up at Reno. Reno was almost certain he saw an eyebrow rise in curiosity behind the dark lenses. Finally, Rude shrugged and sat down at his desk, still eying Reno oddly.

“Oh, shut up,” Reno snapped at him, earning a soft snort of laughter from his partner. Tseng settled himself on the corner of Reno’s desk, eager to see his reaction to Elena’s arrival. He didn’t have long to wait, as the door swung open minutes later. Elena emerged from the hallway, a cheerful smile on her face and two colorfully wrapped boxes under her arm.

“Good morning, Rude… I have a present for you,” she said strolling over to her fellow-Turk and handing him one of the boxes. “And one for you too, sir…” she continued, holding the second out to Tseng, who took it with a small smile. “Open them.”

“Hey… How is that fair? Don’t I get anything?” Reno pouted.

“Oh, you’ll get what’s coming to you, Reno…” Elena replied. Tseng raised an eyebrow quizzically and began removing the wrapping paper. Rude did the same. The two men opened the boxes, Tseng chuckling softly as he pulled out the package’s contents. Rude, on the other hand, cackled loudly, causing Reno to jump in shock at the normally stoic man’s reaction.

“What? What is it?” asked Reno. Rude answered him by standing and reaching up to remove one of the Shinra emblems from the wall behind him, replacing it with the framed photograph from the box Elena had given him.

Reno eyes went wide, as he saw the eight by ten photo of himself… The same photo he had been so sure he’d sent to a digital oblivion when he’d taken her phone.

“I fucking deleted that. I know I did,” he groaned, raising a hand to hide his face.

“Automatic cloud backup,” Elena explained, “All my photos get uploaded immediately and stored online. I think it really adds something to the room, don’t you Reno?”

She smiled sweetly, as Reno repeatedly slammed his forehead onto his desk.

-fin-