Desha's Reno of the Turks Fan Fiction

Chapter 17: Fever Dreams

“For Ifrit’s sake, just make it stop!” Reno moaned. He stood in the doorway of his bedroom, back pressed to the doorframe as he desperately tried to maneuver into the right position to dispel the itching sensation that tortured him from between his shoulder blades. He closed his eyes in relief as he finally found the right spot.

“Oh… Oh, yeah… that’s more like it…” he sighed… then groaned again in frustration when the itch reappeared, this time on his arm… then at the back of his neck… then his chest. Soon he was in an all out frenzy, scratching frantically. For every itch he managed to rid himself of, at least three more seemed to creep over his flesh. He was on the verge of tearing his clothes off right then and there, just so that he could better dig his nails into his skin, when his PHS rang insistently.

“What?!” he yelled into phone, voice tinged with near-hysteria, fervently attacking another itch on his left side.

“You’re late, Reno,” said a familiar voice on the other end of the line.

“I don’t fucking care!” Reno replied, “Rude, just tell Tseng that I’m usin’ a sick day, will ya?” He couldn’t stand it anymore… His entire body itched now, and it was slowly driving him mad.

“… Pretty sure you’ve used all your sick days.”

“Again… I don’t fucking care!” Reno lamented, his voice rising nearly a full octave as the itching suddenly seemed to double in intensity, sending him clawing awkwardly at his back for what seemed like the hundredth time since he’d awoken that morning.

“…”

“Look, I’m not comin’ in today. The boss wants me, he’s gonna have ta come drag me out of this apartment himself!” he continued, and abruptly ended the call before yanking his shirt off over his head and flinging it across the room. If he had to draw blood to get this to stop, he damn well would.

---

Behind his sunglasses, Rude blinked in surprise, not quite sure what to make of his short conversation with his fellow Turk. The note of distress in Reno’s voice had definitely not escaped his notice.

There was a reason the redhead never seemed to have any sick leave saved up… He rarely actually got sick, but his proclivity for being injured had landed him an overnight – or, on occasion, several nights – stay in the hospital more times than Rude cared to count.

“Where’s Reno?”

Rude turned to face the Turk leader, still rather disturbed by the phone call. Reno really hadn’t sounded at all like himself.

“Out sick, apparently” he stated.

Tseng raised an eyebrow. “Reno? Our Reno? The same Reno who, the last time he was legitimately ill, still dragged himself into the office and collapsed?” Tseng looked vaguely concerned. Reno liked his time off, but on the infrequent occasions he opted to use his sick leave – when he managed to still have some – for a personal day, he’d always been honest about it… and contacted him first to make sure it wouldn’t be too great an inconvenience. The fact that he hadn’t led Tseng to believe the man really wasn’t well this morning.

“Said you’d have to drag him in yourself if you wanted him here,” Rude confirmed.

“Indeed?” mused Tseng, wondering if Reno had meant that simply as a statement of fact or as a challenge. One never knew with the redhead.

“… Something sounded off,” Rude added, causing his superior to frown.

“I take it you think we should check on him,” he stated. He’d already been leaning toward doing just that anyway. That Rude seemed to be thinking along the same lines only nudged him closer to acting on the impulse.

“Check on who?” a new voice asked, and the Turk leader turned to see Elena slipping through the door with an assortment of files under her arm, “This is everything I could find in the archives on anyone named Wallace, by the way, sir.”

“Thank you, Elena,” he said with a nod, “You can just leave them on my desk for now. We were discussing Reno… and his current absence.”

Elena frowned. “Is something wrong?”

“Says he’s sick,” Rude replied.

“And Reno is virtually never sick,” Tseng stated, definitively, “And when he is sick, it’s never anything typical. I trust you recall the last time. He was fine half a day later, but could barely remain conscious before that.”

“Yes, sir… I remember,” she said, her own worry growing now. She’d been the one tasked with looking after him for the afternoon last time, after all… and while he had indeed gotten over the bug quickly, there was no denying that for several hours, it had completely knocked him to the floor.

“That was probably the least unusual thing I’ve ever seen him ill with.” Tseng hesitated for a moment, before finally sighing in defeat. “I’ll be back shortly. I’m going to make sure he hasn’t somehow managed to contract the plague… or something equally Reno-like.”

---

Less than fifteen minutes later, Tseng was standing outside Reno’s apartment.

“Reno?” he called, knocking a second time… his first attempt having gone unanswered. He was about three seconds away from pulling out a lock pick when the door finally swung inward.

“What?!” asked Reno, in a near-whining tone. He stood, clad in only his underwear, eyes filled with desperation as he scratched at his shoulder. Tiny clusters of red spots… and angry red welts that were almost certainly from his own fingernails, littered his entire body. In a few places, he’d actually drawn blood.

Tseng’s eyes widened. Only Reno… “What in the world… ?”

He stepped inside, placing hand on Reno’s arm and pulling him towards the couch. The redhead clawed viciously at his chest, and Tseng had to grab him to get him to stop before he did any farther damage to himself. Reno whimpered softly, closing his eyes as Tseng pressed the back of his hand against his forehead.

“Reno, you’re burning up,” he stated, matter-of-factly.

“Don’t care… Itching won’t stop…” he hissed, wrenching away from Tseng’s grip on his arm, and returning to his scratching frenzy. Tseng finally had to pin his arms at his sides, holding him firmly in place. Reno’s entire body quivered as the maddening sensation seemed to attack from every angle.

“Fuck… Tseng, I can’t take this anymore! Do something… Please!” he begged, shaking from the sheer desire to scratch. The Turk leader hadn’t seen Reno look so helpless in years.

“It’s alright,” he said, comfortingly, gently coaxing him to lay down on the couch. The moment he released him, the younger man’s hand crept up to continue his assault on his own skin. Tseng grabbed his wrists. “Reno, I need you to try to stop. You’re going to hurt yourself. I’m going to have Rude collect Dr. Ward and bring her here. I’m sure she can help.”

Reno finally nodded, squeezing his eyes shut as he tried to resist the ever-growing need to scratch.

---

When Rude’s PHS rang for the second time that morning, he answered immediately.

“Rude here.”

“Get Dr. Ward. Bring her to Reno’s apartment,” Tseng’s voice ordered without preamble. Rude felt his stomach clench uncomfortably. If Tseng was requesting the doctor, something was very wrong. Though at least Reno was still at home… not on his way to the hospital.

“On it,” he stated, on his feet immediately and heading for the door. He nearly trampled Elena in his rush as she returned with coffee for them both.

“W-what’s wrong?” she asked, wide-eyed.

“… Not sure. Tseng wants Dr. Ward at Reno’s place. Now,” he replied.

“I’ll go with you,” she said, setting the coffee on the edge of the nearest desk, and falling into step behind him as he beelined for the elevator.

“Did he say anything else?” Elena asked as the car started its descent. Rude shook his head, watching impatiently as the floor numbers flashed by on the display. She may not have been able to read Rude as well as Reno could… but even she could see the man was worried. She wasn’t exactly unconcerned herself.

The elevator reached it’s destination, chiming as the doors opened, releasing its occupants. Elena had never actually been to the building’s medical suite before, somehow having managed to avoid any injuries she couldn’t treat herself, and having her initial medical workup with her own doctor rather than the company one. It was smaller than she’d expected… but then, they weren’t exactly running a hospital here.

“Rude… Good ta see yeh. You’re not dragging in a certain redhead again, are yeh?” the gray-haired Dr. Justinia Ward chided as she caught sight of them. “Ah… nope. I see yeh’ve brought me a blonde instead today. That’s a nice change of pace. Hmm… Elena, wasn’t it?”

Elena opened her mouth to reply, but Rude cut her off.

“Tseng sent us to get you,” he said, “Wants you at Reno’s place sooner rather than later.”

Dr. Ward demeanor shifted almost instantly from conversational to professional. “Of course he does. I haven’t seen Reno in more’n a week… He’s overdue. What’s the matter, then?” she asked, turning to gather a few things into her bag.

“Didn’t say. Just said to get you and bring you there.”

Ward scoffed. “Bah! That Tseng! Couldn’t take two seconds to have yeh pass along what I’m expected ta be treating the little troublemaker for, I suppose. Odin forbid I have some idea what I’m getting myself inta. He’ll be getting an earful from me later, I don’t mind telling yeh. Can yeh at least tell me… injury or illness?”

“Illness,” Rude informed her. Dr. Ward, made a soft noise of acknowledgment and reached for several more items, stowing them in her bag.

“Well, let’s be going, then,” she said a minute later, when she’d stuffed the small satchel to near-bursting.

---

“Yer not gonna do Reno a bit of good if yeh kill us all before we get there,” Dr. Ward commented as Rude narrowly avoided a head-on collision while passing a slow-moving truck, “Or, barring that, give me a heart attack.”

Rude frowned at her reflection in the rearview mirror… but he did slow down noticeably. Much to Elena’s relief as well.

“I know yer worried, ’bout him,” she continued, “But if it were life ‘n death, Tseng woulda sent him straight on to the emergency room… not summoned me to come ta him.”

The three of them rode in silence for the remaining time it took before they were pulling into the parking lot of Reno’s apartment complex. Rude opened the door for Dr. Ward, dutifully escorting the doctor into the building as Elena trailed behind. Minutes later, they were stepping out onto the fifth floor, and heading toward Reno’s door. Elena hurried ahead and knocked.

“Come in,” came Tseng’s voice from within. She quickly pushed the door open and stepped inside, followed, moments later, by Rude and the Dr. Ward. Tseng looked up, nodding in greeting, before returning his attention to his ailing compatriot.

Elena rounded the couch, and blinked in surprise.

Reno was laying face down on the cushions, mostly undressed, with his arms wrapped tightly around pillow, as Tseng soothingly rubbed his hand back and forth along his spine. Every so often a tremor would wrack his body, as though he were trying very hard not to react to something. Every square inch of him that Elena could see looked to be covered in bright red dots, barely larger than a pinhead, that seemed to cluster in groups of five or six… and interspersed between them were angry-looking welts, several of which were bleeding slightly.

She suddenly had the nearly uncontrollable urge to laugh hysterically, and she had to bite down hard on her lower lip to stop herself. She knew exactly what was wrong with Reno…

Apparently, so did Dr. Ward… because when she saw her patient, there was no attempt at holding back the laughter.

“Oh, Reno… yeh poor thing…” she chuckled. Tseng looked up incredulously.

“What exactly do you find so amusing about this?” he asked, clearly annoyed by her reaction.

“Oh now, don’t yeh go getting your panties in a bunch, Tseng,” she said, “He’ll be just fine. Not so often yeh see a grown man come down with chocobo pox, though. Leave it ta Reno ta manage it…” She knelt down next to the redhead, patting him gently on the shoulder. “I see yeh’ve been scratching a wee bit…”

Elena glanced back at Rude… who suddenly seemed far less concerned about his friend and was backing out the door, looking slightly terrified – as much as he ever did, anyway. Apparently, Reno wasn’t the only Turk who’d never had chocobo pox as a child.

“I seriously can’t take any more itching, Doc…” Reno whimpered, “Please just make it stop!”

“Don’t yeh worry… we’ll get yeh fixed right up,” she assured him, as she pulled him into a sitting position. She set her bag down, digging through it for a moment, and coming up with a thermometer, which she wordlessly popped into Reno’s mouth.

“Fuck my temperature,” he moaned, “Do something about the damn itching!”

“You’ll keep that thermometer under yer tongue and yer mouth shut for the next sixty seconds, if you know what’s good for yeh,” Dr. Ward commanded in a tone that brokered no argument. Reno whined, but did as he was told. She moved to place a stethoscope against his chest, and he flinched violently.

“Oh, for pity’s sake,” she sighed, and warmed the instrument by rubbing it against her sleeve. Elena stifled a giggle. The next time the doctor tried, Reno let her make contact. “Deep breath, now,” she requested, and he immediately obeyed. “Good boy… one more time,” she said, moving the stethoscope to the opposite side, smiling at whatever it was she heard when Reno inhaled deeply a second time. Dr. Ward retrieved the thermometer, and checked the results.

“Well, the good news is yer lungs are perfectly clear… which means yeh probably aren’t gonna end up with a nasty chest infection to go along with this like a lotta people your age do… if yeh take it easy on yourself for a few days, and actually do what I tell yeh for once, that is. The bad news is that yer running a fever of a hundred ‘n four. I’m surprised yer not half delirious, ta be honest.”

“Doc… please… the itching…” Reno pleaded, essentially ignoring everything she’d just said.

“Alright, alright…” she replied, returning to her bag, “We’ll just getcha a nice antihistamine. Won’t get rid of it completely, but it’ll help quite a bit. You’re awfully lucky I thought ta bring this, since someone neglected to give me any information ’bout your symptoms before dragging me out here.” She looked pointedly at Tseng, who had the good sense not to attempt to defend himself to the woman. She held up a vial of clear liquid, and a syringe. Reno’s eyes widened.

“W-wait… Ya gotta do it like that?” he asked, suddenly looking nervous. Elena stared at him.

“You’re not afraid of needles, are you?” she snickered. The redhead glared at her, and might have even looked intimidating were he not covered in spots.

“Poor thing’s terrified of ’em. Has been since the day I met him… haven’t yeh?” Dr. Ward spoke up, and Reno immediately shifted targets. “Don’t yeh give me that look. You know it’s true. Now this is faster, and’ll last yeh longer than the tablets… which, by the way, I didn’t think ta bring due to lack of information, so you’ll be waiting while I run back ‘n get ’em if yeh insist on it.”

Reno’s hand twitched toward his chest, and Tseng quickly caught it before he could start scratching again.

“Fine. Just… do it quick,” he finally relented, shuddering. Dr. Ward filled the syringe, and took hold of Reno’s arm. He shut his eyes and turned away with a frightened – though, Elena suspected, somewhat exaggerated – whimper. She expertly finished the injection in about two seconds.

“All done,” she said, patting his arm gently. Reno slowly relaxed. “That’ll probably make yeh a might sleepy pretty soon. Before you’re completely dead on your feet, I want ta get yeh into a cold bath, ‘n see if we can’t get that fever of yours down. Tseng, ya mind givin’ me a hand?”

“Of course,” the Turk leader replied, though before he could do anything else, his PHS rang. Thoroughly irritated, he removed the phone from his jacket pocket and answered the call.

“Tseng here.” The person on the other end of the line was shouting so loudly, Elena could hear it from several feet away… she couldn’t quite make out the words, but they certainly didn’t sound happy. He was so loud, even Tseng flinched.

“Yes, sir,” he replied calmly, “I understand. I’ll leave immediately.”

“Sir?” Elena queried, once he’d ended the call.

“Heidegger,” he said, not sounding the least bit amused, “I’m wanted personally for his security detail while he tours Reactor Five to inspect the defensive upgrades. Right now. I suppose Rude will have to help with…” He looked around the room, only then realizing that the fourth member of the team had made himself scarce. “Elena, where’s Rude?”

“The hall, I think, sir,” she replied, “As soon as he heard Reno had chocobo pox, he took off. I guess he hasn’t had them before, either…”

“Don’t blame him, then,” Ward said, “They’re a right menace for adults… better to get ’em young ‘n be done with it. Lifetime immunity after that. How’re ya feeling now, Reno?”

“Better,” Reno murmured. His eyes were drifting shut already.

“Good. Now just to be clear… the pair of yeh? Yeh’ve both had it already, I hope.”

“I had it when I was six,” Elena replied. Tseng was easing a barely-conscious Reno back down against the pillow on the couch. He nodded, somewhat distractedly.

“Well, thank goodness for that,” Dr. Ward said, “Last thing I need is three patients.”

“Sir, if you need to go, I’ll stay and help Dr. Ward with Reno…” Elena offered.

“Thank you, Elena,” he replied, gratefully, rising to his feet. He cast one more glance at the redhead before turning on his heel and heading out the door.

“Well then, I suppose it’s just you ‘n me,” the doctor said, warmly, “Go and run a bath. Nice ‘n cold, if yeh please. He won’t like it, I’m sure, but that fever needs ta come down before it gets any higher.”

Elena nodded and hurried to fill the tub. She left the tap running and returned to see what further help she could be.

“‘Fraid I’m not much for heavy lifting these days, but I’ll do what I can. Think yeh can manage him?”

“I think so,” she said, “Reno’s pretty light.”

Reno blinked blearily as Elena eased his arm over her shoulders, lifting him to his feet. Dr. Ward slipped herself under his other arm, and between the two of them they half-carried him to the bathroom.

“Get the rest of his clothes off, and we’ll pop him in the water,” the doctor said, motioning to his boxers. She felt Reno shake slightly, and she suddenly realized that he was laughing almost silently.

“I don’t care if you’re sick… I swear to god, Reno, if you make one comment…”

“‘Bout what?” he replied, innocently, perking up slightly for a moment as the opportunity to tease his favorite rookie presented itself. The short burst of energy passed, however, and soon, he was leaning his head tiredly on Elena’s shoulder, and allowing his eyes to close, oblivious to what she and the doctor were doing.

---

Reno woke to the not exactly unfamiliar sensation of a warm body curled against his side. He sighed softly and nestled himself against his current bedmate, wondering briefly if he should know who it was. The last thing he remembered was being very, very sleepy, and resting his head against Elena’s shoulder.

With a start, his eyes snapped open, breath hitching slightly as he realized that… yes, he was indeed in bed with Elena… who was pressed firmly against him, her face nuzzling his neck. One of her hands was lightly petting his hair, while the other began making gentle sweeps along his chest under the sheets.

“‘Lena?” he managed, thoroughly confused.

“Morning, sleepyhead,” she teased, and much to his intense shock, she leaned in and kissed him deeply. His eyes widened. This was definitely not normal. He gingerly pushed her away, staring at her in disbelief.

“Uh… ‘Lena? Did… something happen last night?” he asked hesitantly. This couldn’t possibly be a good thing. He couldn’t remember anything at all after falling asleep. What exactly had he… they… done? Elena giggled teasingly.

“Oh… just the same thing that’s been happening most nights for the last six months or so,” she said coyly. A chill shot through him. Six months? What the hell was she talking about?

“Of course, that’s going to change when the baby comes… so we should really enjoy it while we can…” she purred, seductively. His mouth went dry…

“The WHAT?!” he shrieked.

---

Reno sat up rigidly in bed, breathing heavily and shaking. It took him a moment to realize he was alone.

“Oh, thank fuck…” he moaned, “It was a just dream.” He laughed to himself, feeling slightly delirious with relief, as he flopped back onto the pillows. The bedroom door creaked open a crack.

“Er… Reno? Are you awake?” Elena said in a hushed voice, poking her head in.

“Yeah, ‘Lena… I’m up,” he replied. He raised an eyebrow when he saw her frown at him, a decidedly annoyed look on her face. What was that about?

“Well it’s about time. You’ve been asleep all day. Um… Are you feeling any better?”

Something about this all seemed vaguely familiar.

“Ugh… Kinda…” he replied automatically, not really knowing why he was feigning such a pitiful whine. He felt fine. The doc did good work, even if she was a little too fond of needles for his taste.

She pushed the door open the rest of the way and stepped into the room. “Well… look. Tseng asked me to look after you until you were feeling more yourself. So is there anything I can get you?”

Reno blinked. “Uh… ‘Lena? What the hell are you wearing?” High cut, poofy black skirt… lacy white apron… frilly top… Why the fuck was Elena in his apartment dressed as a maid?

“Would you stop calling me that?” she asked, petulantly, “You know I hate it. And I don’t know what you mean. This is my normal uniform.”

“Having trouble with him, Elena?” a familiar voice called from the other room. Tseng appeared in the doorway, and Reno rubbed his eyes in incredulity.

“Boss?” he said, wondering if he was a lot sicker than he’d been led to believe. Tseng was dressed identically to Elena… right down to the three-inch pumps that made his legs look rather distractingly shapely.

“If you’re feeling better, we could really use you back in the office. Heidegger has instituted a new policy. We’ll be taking on no further assignments until the backlog of incident reports has been cleared.”

“Uhhh…”

“Elena, I think if we’re going to make any progress on those reports, we may need to take drastic measures to get Reno back to work…” Tseng intoned, glancing meaningfully at the rookie.

“Yes, sir,” she said, reaching into the top drawer of Reno’s dresser and withdrawing what was easily the largest syringe he’d ever seen in his life.

“Whoa… Wait a minute! W-what do ya think you’re doin’ with that?!” the redhead said, nervously backing himself up against the headboard, as Elena approached. She grinned menacingly, and Reno dove for the other side of the bed, scrambling to his feet and making a run for the door. He pushed passed the Turk leader, and ran headlong into a solid body, slamming to an abrupt halt.

“… Going somewhere?” a maid uniform-clad Rude asked, lifting him bodily off the ground and hauling him back to the bed. Tseng in that outfit had been shocking… but seeing Rude likewise dressed was downright disturbing. He and Tseng held Reno in place as Elena brought the syringe into view.

“Don’t worry, Reno… you won’t feel a thing…” she said, ominously. Reno shuddered. No matter how much he fought, the other two Turks held him fast as Elena drew closer. Unable to escape, he shut his eyes tight, and screamed.

---

He was still screaming when he woke up safely alone in his bed. For a moment he lay there staring at the ceiling as he waited for his heart to stop trying to leap out of his chest… which it nearly did anyway as he suddenly realized that it wasn’t his ceiling he was staring at. Reno sat bolt upright, looking around at his – rather cramped – surroundings.

“Ok… now I know this has gotta be a dream…” he muttered. He had no idea why his subconscious had decided to put his bed inside an elevator, but it was somehow far less unsettling than the last two times he’d woken up. Or thought he’d woken up. Or whatever.

He shrugged and crawled across the mattress to the panel of buttons by the door, and hit the one for the Turks’ main offices, waiting patiently as the elevator car began to rise. He sat back as the floors ticked by, quickly reaching his destination… and then climbing past it. The elevator rose steadily… past the fiftieth floor… the sixtieth floor… the sixty-fifth… finally stopping at the sixty-ninth.

“Oh crap…” he moaned, as he was suddenly plunged into momentary darkness before finding himself in the pale orange glow of the emergency lighting. He braced himself.

Right on cue, he felt the queasy sensation in the pit of his stomach as the car dropped. The floor numbers on the screen above the door ticked by so quickly he could even read them. He dove for the panel containing the manual brake, just barely able to wrench it open with his bed in the way, and hauled down on the lever. The car screeched to a stop, and the lights came back on. Reno laid back on the bed and relaxed. Nothing to it.

The elevator car began to rise again, stopping at its original destination. He sat up as the doors slid open, fully expecting to see Tseng waiting for him. Instead, he was met by a certain blonde-haired rookie.

“Mornin’ Reno,” Elena said cheerfully, “Welcome to Hell Week!”

With that, she pressed the button beside the elevator doors. They slammed shut with a bang, and Reno once again found himself in total darkness.

“Ah, fuck… Why me… ?!” he shouted as the car dropped again.

---

He sat up, shivering violently. Reno stared down at his body… or what he could see of it. Most of it was submerged beneath a layer of crushed ice. He looked up and realized he was in his bathtub. Shaking, he tried to leverage himself out of the ice bath, only to cry out as a sharp pain lanced through his lower abdomen, causing him to fall back, breathing raggedly.

He pushed some of the ice out of the way, looking for the source of the pain. It wasn’t hard to find. The deeper he dug, the more the ice became tinted with red, until he could finally see his stomach. A neat incision had been made in his left side, and it was slowly oozing blood into the melting ice.

“It’s an urban legend that’s been around for decades,” Tseng’s voice suddenly pointed out, and Reno’s attention snapped up to the man’s face. He was certain he hadn’t been there a moment ago. Eyes going wide, Reno shifted his gaze to what was in his commander’s hand, immediately feeling nauseated.

“As I believe told you… if I were going to steal a kidney, I certainly wouldn’t leave a witness,” Tseng added, his free hand drawing his gun.

“Wait! Tseng, don’t!” he shouted, a split second before the gunshot.

---

Warmth radiated from the person beside him under the covers, and Reno decided he much preferred this to the ice bath. At least no one was trying to shoot him, or skewer him, or torture him in this dream. And if his fever-addled brain was going to keep sticking him in bed with the rookie, he might as well enjoy it. Not as if she’d ever have to know, after all…

He cuddled up closer to her, letting his hands drift gently over her body… and very quickly realized that this was definitely not Elena. Cringing, he forced his eyes open.

“… Mornin’ sleepyhead…” Rude purred in an almost creepy imitation of Elena’s tone the first time around.

“Oh, come on!” Reno shouted, not particularly wanting to wait around to find out if Rude was going to be having his baby, too.

---

He sat up with a sharp cry, shaking with cold.

“Reno!?” Elena’s voice called to him, snapping his unfocused gaze toward her, “A-are you alright?”

The redhead swallowed harshly, eyes flitting around the room frantically. “Reno?” Elena prodded, in a concerned tone, as she rested a hand on his shoulder. He flinched away, not knowing what to expect from this Elena, but suspecting that he wasn’t going to like it. He dared to take his eyes off of her for the few seconds it took him to glance down at the ice bath… finding that it was only water.

“Dr. Ward?!” Elena shouted, sounding worried.

“Alright… Alright… I’m right here,” the elderly doctor assured her, as she appeared in the doorway, “Well… awake, are yeh?”

“I have no idea…” Reno managed, a little breathlessly, after a moment’s hesitation. Elena looked over at Dr. Ward, more than slightly perturbed by the man’s behavior. The doctor shook her head.

“Perfectly normal ta be a wee bit disoriented with a fever like this,” she said, and Elena relaxed minutely, “Been having some interesting dreams there, Reno?”

“I… I’m not missin’ a kidney, am I?” Reno asked, somewhat hesitantly.

“Not that I’m aware of,” Dr. Ward replied, chuckling softly, “Dya want me ta check for yeh?” She knelt down next to him and rested a hand on his forehead. “Well, yeh feel a might cooler, but we won’t really know if the fever’s coming down ’til we let yeh warm back up a bit. Grab a towel for him, would yeh, Elena? Let’s get him inta bed.”

Elena rose to do as requested, but Reno caught hold of her sleeve before she could go too far.

“Uh… hey, ‘Lena? Don’t take this the wrong way, but… just for my own peace of mind,” he said, eying her suspiciously, “You’re… not pregnant, right?”

“Excuse me?!” she responded, sounding more than a little insulted.

“I’ll just assume that’s a no,” he sheepishly replied, “Please don’t kill me.”

“Hmph… Interesting dreams, indeed,” Dr. Ward commented, smirking slightly.

A few minutes later, Reno found himself dressed and tucked beneath the covers, the two women hovering over him. He was at last convinced that he was really awake.

“Think yeh could eat something?” Dr. Ward asked.

“Not really feelin’ very hungry…” he replied, and Elena’s jaw dropped in shock.

“A-are you sure he’s alright?” she asked. Ward nodded.

“He may be a bottomless pit, but even Reno’s only human. Probably won’t have much of an appetite ’til that fever finally breaks,” she said, “I’d still like ta get something in yeh, though. Elena, take his temperature for me while I go and see if he keeps anything besides junk food in the house.”

“Yes, ma’am,” she replied, reaching for the thermometer. As the doctor left, Elena moved to slip the instrument into Reno’s mouth, only to have him pull away from her, as he scratched at the back of his neck.

“Ugh… Reno. Would you stop being so difficult?” she sighed. Dr. Ward poked her head back into the room..

“Yeh best behave yourself for her, yeh little menace. Otherwise, you’ll be getting my other thermometer,” she said threateningly. Elena snickered loudly as Reno paled and immediately became far more cooperative.

“Don’t laugh… She’s not joking,” Reno said with a shudder, moving to dig his nails into his left arm.

“And don’t yeh dare start that scratching again!” Ward’s voice called from the other room. He winced, and forced his hand back down.

“She’s also a fuckin’ psychic,” he muttered.

The rookie took the opportunity to shove the thermometer under his tongue with a smirk. He glared at her, annoyed, for a full minute until she retrieved it.

“A hundred and two,” she read, “And exactly how do you know she’s not joking?”

“Made the mistake of doubting her once… and only once,” he replied, darkly, “That woman isn’t a doctor… she’s a goddamn sadist with a medical license. And her sole purpose in life is to torment me.”

“Reno!” Elena scolded him, “After all she’s done, how can you say something like that?”

“Because it’s true,” he groused, crossing his arms stubbornly, “Oh, sure… she acts like a perfectly nice, sweet, caring old lady… and then she jabs you with a needle when your back’s turned, or damn near gives ya fuckin’ a heart attack stickin’ freezin’ cold metal shit on you… or in you… without any warning… or refuses to hand over the candy ya damn well deserve for puttin’ up with her crap just ’cause she doesn’t like it when people swear a little…” He paused for a moment, eyes squeezed shut in frustration, “Or worse, she won’t let ya scratch when it still fuckin’ itches ’cause her stupid shot didn’t work! Ah, the hell with this…”

He finally gave in, scratching vigorously at his chest until Elena seized him.

“Now there’s gratitude for yeh,” Dr. Ward chastised. She carried in a tray with a bowl of soup and glass of milk, setting it on the bedside table, “Really, Reno… do yeh not eat anything that isn’t pre-packaged, frozen, microwaveable or all of the above? And I told yeh before… that antihistamine I gave yeh won’t do much more’n take the edge off…”

Reno huffed softly, plainly irritated, as Elena cautiously released him and then helped him sit up in bed.

“Well, then what fucking good is havin’ ya here?” he scowled, arms crossed, as he tried his hardest to ignore the fact that his skin was beginning to crawl again. He had to admit, though… it was nowhere near as bad as it had been that morning.

“Well, if that’s the way yeh really feel, maybe yeh want me ta refer yeh ta a different doctor,” she said, her tone serious. Reno froze.

“W-what?” he stammered, looking up at her and blinking in shock. She’d never threatened him with that before, even when he was at his worst. Ward sniggered at the slightly panicked expression the redhead now wore.

“Oh, now relax. I’m just teasing, yeh silly creature,” she replied, before adding with a grin, “Probably couldn’t be rid of yeh even if I tried… and I wouldn’t wish the likes of yeh on my worst enemy, besides. Now eat. Meantime, I’ll get yeh something ta help yeh feel a little more comfortable,” She placed the tray carefully on his lap and pointedly stared him down. The redhead hurriedly obeyed. Ward smirked, and leaned over toward Elena, whispering loudly before heading for the door again, “He’s a good boy, really – just horribly grumpy when he’s sick or hurt. I try not ta hold it against him…”

“I can hear ya, you know…” Reno grumbled at her retreating figure, narrowing his eyes warningly at Elena when she snickered in response. Dr. Ward returned moments later with a small bottle of pink liquid.

“Alright, you,” she said, firmly, “I don’t want any complaining ’bout the way it smells, the way it feels, or the the way it looks. Yeh want that itching ta stop, yer just gonna havta deal with it.”

---

Reno was home for the remainder of the week… most of which was spent coated in a blotchy white layer of calamine lotion to keep the itching at bay. Aside from a daily visit from Dr. Ward to ensure he was following her instructions – and to issue admonitions and threats of uncomfortable medical procedures if she found he wasn’t – he was largely left to his own devices. It certainly wasn’t that he expected to be waited on hand and foot, but he was a little surprised neither Tseng nor Elena had stopped by to at least make sure he was still alive. Rude’s absence could be forgiven… Elena had told him why the man wouldn’t come anywhere near him until the danger of contagion had passed. But the other two better have had a damn good excuse for leaving him to slowly go stir crazy.

By Thursday afternoon, he’d been climbing the walls. By Friday, he was practically begging Ward for leave to return to work, contagious or not. By the following Tuesday, he was all but nominating her for sainthood for finally granting it.

And so, Wednesday morning found the redhead in the office nearly an hour early… something that was so unheard of he half expected Tseng to faint from shock when he saw him. Which was why he was very surprised when, at nearly five minutes to seven, it was only Elena who – almost literally – dragged herself through the door.

“Mornin’ ‘Lena,” he drawled, feet propped up on his desk as he leaned back in his chair, grinning at the rookie.

“Oh, thank Ifrit you’re back!” she groaned. Reno cocked an eyebrow at the expression of sheer relief etched across her face.

“Ya miss me or somethin’?” he asked, a little miffed, “Coulda stopped by any time in the past week if you were so desperate for my company, ya know.”

“I-I’m sorry Reno… I meant to visit. I really did,” Elena said quickly, “It’s just been so hectic… and by the end of the day I was always just so tired… And then the weekend finally came, and I slept half the day Saturday, just to get caught up, and Sunday…”

“Uh… ‘Lena? Wanna back that up a little? What exactly did I miss?”

“Dr. Ward didn’t tell you?”

“Tell me what?” he asked, curious now. Why was it that the interesting things always seemed to happen when he was out?

“Tseng’s been out sick. Apparently he never had chocobo pox, either. I guess he wasn’t really paying attention when Ward asked him about it. He gave it to Rude, too. I’ve been here on my own since last Wednesday!” she said, looking a little overwhelmed just thinking about it, before adding, “I… I had to explain to Heidegger why I was the only one here…”

She shuddered at the memory, and Reno sat up.

“Ouch…” he commented. Heidegger was never fun to deal with. Even less so when he was annoyed. “Well, least you’re still in one piece.”

“Not for long… Tseng’s going to kill me when he gets back.”

Reno shot her a bemused smirk. “Yeah? Why’s that?”

“Because now Heidegger has chocobo pox, too… and because of me and my big mouth, he knows exactly who gave it to him…” she replied, miserably. Reno wasn’t sure whether to laugh or to feel extraordinarily sorry for the rookie. Finally, he settled on a compromise. He stood up and walked over to Elena, wrapping an arm gently around her shoulders.

“… Yep. You’re dead.”

~fin~