Desha's Reno of the Turks Fan Fiction

Chapter 11: Everybunny Dies

The day had started out so well… it really had. Which made it that much harder to figure out where it had all gone so terribly, horribly wrong.

Scratch that. She could pinpoint exactly where it had gone wrong. What she didn’t quite understand was how one person could manage to turn such a simple task into such a disaster. It had seemed so easy this morning.

Do something nice for Reno.

And now… well, now he would never, ever forgive her when he found out what she’d done.

---

Eight hours earlier…

“Good morning, sir!” Elena called out cheerfully, a smile beaming on her face. It was Monday, and she’d had an absolutely wonderful weekend.

Friday night, she’d finally found the courage to ask Tseng to see a movie with her, and he’d accepted. Saturday, she’d spent half the day in sheer bliss at the new salon and spa that had opened a few blocks from her apartment complex. Sunday, she’d enjoyed a pleasant jog and then had time to take care of a few household chores and do a little light reading before joining Rude for the new episode of Shadow & Sword.

And to cap things off, her near perfect weekend had ended with one of the best night’s sleep she’d had in ages.

The only thing she’d found lacking was the absence of any sort of plot or prank courtesy of her red-headed compatriot… an absence made keener by the sheer length time of nothing notable having happened to her at Reno’s hands. It had been weeks!

As much as she’d once thought finally seeing an end to their competition would be a godsend… a part of her was a little wounded. Sure it had been humiliating and childish… but it was also some of the most fun she’d ever had. And now, it was almost as if Reno suddenly just didn’t care enough to bother anymore.

The more rational part of her mind told her that was a good thing. The increasingly intricate pranks had caused no end of trouble in both her personal and professional life. They undermined her dignity and endangered her job; they had annoyed Tseng to the point that for a time, she was convinced that he was regretting her promotion. Hell, the aftermath of their endeavors had once nearly gotten Reno killed… twice if you counted what had happened to them on Halloween.

Elena should have been absolutely ecstatic that Reno seemed to have decided to move on to some other form of entertainment. Instead, she just felt abandoned.

Part of that came from the simple fact that, beyond their good-natured feud, Elena really didn’t spend much time with Reno, outside of actually working with him. Sure… there were the occasional after-hours drinks with the whole team, and once in awhile, Tseng hosted a movie night they all inevitably turned up for… but she seldom saw Reno one-on-one.

That wasn’t the case with Rude and Tseng. She had a standing invitation with Rude every Sunday evening to watch the week’s episode of Shadow & Sword. Apparently, he’d been trying for years to get Reno and Tseng into the show, but they’d never shown even a passing interest. When he’d learned Elena was die-hard a fan, too, he’d offered his hospitality (and, as an added incentive, his surprisingly good cooking) almost immediately.

And Tseng… well, they didn’t exactly have regular plans, but she still saw far more of him than she did Reno off duty.

And that, she had to admit, actually hurt a bit. For awhile, Elena had thought she and Reno were becoming friends. But it had been weeks since Reno’s last gag, and the lack of his presence in her daily non-work routine was becoming rather pronounced. It hadn’t occurred to her before now but maybe that silly little rivalry was all they ever really had… and now, Reno seemed to have grown bored of it. Or just bored of her.

Still, her weekend had been a particularly pleasant one on the whole, and it was hard not to be downright chipper this morning. Tseng looked up from pouring a cup of coffee and nodded in greeting.

“You’re certainly in a good mood, Elena,” he replied, “Any particular reason?”

“Not real-”

Her reply was abruptly cut short as the door to the Turks’ main office slammed open with a decidedly angry bang. Tseng sighed.

“And, apparently, on the opposite end of the spectrum…” he deadpanned, “Good morning, Reno.”

“Yeah… well, it’s morning, anyway,” the redhead groused, throwing himself into the chair behind his desk and pecking out his network log-in with angry pokes at his keyboard. Tseng glanced at Elena and raised an eyebrow.

“I swear, I had nothing to do with it, sir,” she said hurriedly, before Tseng got the wrong idea and accused her of, as he had taken to putting it, albeit only half-seriously, ‘engaging in ridiculous antics unbecoming of a Turk’. That wasn’t to say that she didn’t have a – surprise – planned for Reno, despite his recent disinterest. She just hadn’t yet set things in motion. Whatever had rendered their usually jovial teammate so sour this morning, Elena could honestly say it wasn’t her doing.

Tseng turned to Reno.

“Fine… Since you obviously want someone to ask, ” he said, “What’s the matter?”

Reno snorted and folded his arms over his chest, giving Elena the distinct impression of a pouting toddler who hadn’t gotten his way.

“I had a lousy weekend, ” he replied, “My asshole landlord made me give away Snuffy.”

“Who… or what… is a ‘Snuffy’,” Tseng asked, confusion, and possibly regret at even asking, evident in his voice.

“His rat,” Elena said with a shudder, thinking back to the visit awhile back she’d made to Reno’s apartment. She’d met the little rodent when it had gotten a little too friendly for her comfort. She shuddered a second time, remembering the icky sensation of having its nose sniffing through her hair as she stood stock still until Reno had finally deigned to take pity on her and moved him away.

“Ferret!” Reno snapped back at her.

“Since when do you have a ferret?” Tseng queried, pinching the bridge of his nose in a gesture that clearly said, ‘They really don’t pay me enough for this.’

“Well, I don’t anymore,” Reno corrected, looking decidedly put out, “Had to give him to some kid down the block…”

“Where did you even get…” Tseng began, before thinking better of delving too deeply into this conversation, “On second though, never mind. Reno, I’m sorry about your pet, but is it really necessary to take it out on the rest of us?”

Reno muttered something under his breath, and went back to glaring at his email. Elena couldn’t help but feel a little bad for him. Sure, Snuffy was a creepy little rat-thing, with beady eyes and sharp teeth and tiny, needle-like claws – and from what Reno had told her, he seemed to have been something of an accidental acquisition – but Reno had seemed rather fond of the little vermin when he’d introduced them. If you could call laughing maniacally while the rodent had climbed up her sleeve, perched itself on her shoulder, and started nosing and pawing at her hair an “introduction”.

Her less than pleasant reminiscence was interrupted, however, as the door opened one final time, admitting the fourth and final member of the team. Rude strode in calmly, nodding to Elena and Tseng, before pausing in front of Reno.

“… What’s with you?” he asked, blunt and to the point as always, immediately noting his partner’s uncharacteristically black mood.

“He had to give away his rat,” Elena supplied.

“He’s. A. FERRET!” Reno spat back at her, in a tone of such vehemence, it actually made her cringe.

“… Snuffy?” Rude said with a frown, and Elena couldn’t help but think the normally unreadable Turk sounded a little sad at the prospect.

“Yeah…” Reno, who apparently had just been craving a little sympathy, sighed, “New building rule… No ‘exotic’ pets allowed.”

“I don’t mean to sound uncaring,” Tseng interrupted, “But we do have actual work to do today.”

“Sure… I’m in mourning, and all you care about is work, work, work,” Reno replied, sounding a little more like his old self now that someone had finally answered his cry for attention.

“For Holy’s sake, Reno,” said an increasingly exasperated-sounding Tseng, “It’s not as if it died. I realize you’re upset about having to give him away, but I’m sure… Snuffy… will be very happy in his new home.”

“Sure, Reno,” Elena piped up, “A kid will have more time for him anyway, right? He won’t have to worry leaving him behind for a mission, or not being able to take care of him because of an injury… It’s probably for the best.”

Reno suddenly leveled an angry glare at her.

“For the best?” he fumed, “Oh, that’s real nice, Elena. What, so now I just shouldn’t have a pet because of what I do?”

That definitely hadn’t come out quite how she’d intended it. She’d been trying to make him feel better, not worse. Just once, it would be nice not to say the absolute wrong thing. Unfortunately, tact wasn’t always her strong suit. She decided to cut her losses and hastily retreated to her own desk without saying anything farther.

---

Two hours later, after Reno and Rude had been sent down to meet with a potentially double-crossing informant in Wall Market, Tseng had delegated a number of the Turks’ backlog of incident reports to her. As she worked her way through the pile, Elena still couldn’t shake the nagging feeling of guilt she had over opening her big mouth and firmly inserting her foot.

‘Maybe I should postpone what I’ve got planned for Reno,’ she mused. As anxious as she was to see what sort of effect ghost peppers had on Reno and his legendary appetite, today didn’t really seem like appropriate timing.

She sighed and filled in yet another digital form from the information on the hard copy, struggling to read Reno’s notes. Frankly, she was convinced that her being stuck with Reno’s backlog so often had less to do with her being the rookie, and more to do with her being the only person in Midgar who could actually decipher the man’s handwriting. Elena was willing to bet that even Reno couldn’t read half of what he wrote down.

‘Maybe I should just apologize,’ she told herself. After all, on further reflection, her comment had come across as a little cold… and Reno had definitely taken it a lot more personally than she’d intended.

‘Or I could offer to take him out to lunch… Reno never turns down free food, and he’s always happier after he’s been fed.’

She worried that might be awkward, though, especially since she been harboring more and more doubts lately about the current status of their friendship… ever since the unexpected cease-fire had entered its third week.

‘Or… maybe I could do something nice to cheer him up!’ she thought. That was an idea. Do something to both snap him out of his foul mood AND say she was sorry for being so flippant about the loss of his pet. Maybe something personal… something that showed him that she really considered him a friend beyond the boundaries of their little prank war.

Mr. Foo-Foo.

The thought came to her in a flash of brilliance. Of course! What was more personal to Reno than his beloved childhood toy? The thing was filthy and ragged and positively falling apart. She could clean it up for him; fix the little stuffed rabbit’s drooping ear, and the mismatched buttons that had been sewn haphazardly on to replace its long-missing eyes.

It was absolutely perfect!

But… how to do it? Getting the toy wasn’t the problem. With a little effort, she could break into Reno’s apartment at lunch, take Mr. Foo-Foo, and be back before anyone was the wiser… but then what? It would be impossible to fix it AND handle her afternoon assignment. She’d be backing Tseng up on a security inspection of the Sector 5 reactor. And Reno would surely notice Mr. Foo-Foo’s absence if she didn’t return him before he got home tonight.

“Reno’d know how to pull it off,” she quietly muttered to herself, “Ugh… if he were really that desperate for a day off, he’d have just called in sick first thing in the morning.” It was a little late for that, though… unless…

---

Elena steadied herself. If Tseng suspected anything was amiss, this would never work… and she’d probably be formally reprimanded. She hesitantly knocked on the door that separated Tseng’s workspace from the rest of their shared office.

“Come in,” he called out. This was it. No turning back now. Elena pushed open the door and leaned heavily on the doorframe in her best display of weakness and fatigue.

“S-sir?” she said, ensuring that her voice sounded appropriately tired and strained. Tseng looked up from his laptop, and began to respond, but stopped short when he saw her.

“Elena?” he questioned, “Are you feeling alright?”

“I… er… n-no, sir, I-I’m really not,” she replied. Tseng stood, and rounded his desk, approaching her. Elena could feel the sweat beading on her forehead. She hadn’t expected him to want a closer look at her. He’d be furious if he realized that she was faking. Even Reno didn’t have the balls to attempt to lie to Tseng’s face like that.

Much to her relief, her nervousness actually seemed to work in her favor. There was no suspicion, no scrutiny… not even a cataloging of her symptoms. Instead, Tseng calmly guided her back out the door.

“Then go home. Get some rest,” he said simply, “Would you like me to drive you?”

Normally, she’d have jumped at an offer like that. But tempting as it was, the longer she lingered, the more likely Tseng was to catch on. And besides which, she was under a time limit. She needed to get to Reno’s place, get Mr. Foo-Foo, and get back to her own apartment so she could work in safety.

“N-no, sir,” Elena replied, “I can manage. Thank you, sir.”

Tseng nodded, “If you’re sure…”

“I’m sure,” she said, gathering her things from her desk, “I-I’ll see you tomorrow, sir.”

---

She didn’t dare drop the act until she was out of the building, in her car, and six blocks away. She’d even headed off in the direction of her own apartment and then circled back towards Reno’s, just in case. It never hurt to be a little paranoid… Tseng may have seemed to have taken her at her word, but why take the chance?

Elena switched lanes and passed a slow-moving sedan. All she had to do now was break into Reno’s apartment, steal his most treasured possession, fix it up, and return it before he got off work.

Easy. Nothing to it at all.

---

Traffic had not been in her favor. It had taken nearly forty-five minutes to make a trip that should have taken less than twenty. Elena checked her watch. 1:17 pm. She had just under four hours before Reno would be leaving work. Just under four hours to get Mr. Foo-Foo, finish his makeover, and get him back home.

The elevator opened on Reno’s floor, and she slipped casually into the hallway. An older woman boarded the elevator as she stepped off, but paid her no mind. Elena went straight to Reno’s door, pulling a lock pick from her breast pocket. She checked that no one was coming, and then crouched down and got to work.

It wasn’t especially difficult to pick a lock; she’d done it dozens of times. But she was nowhere near as fast at it as Reno or Rude, and being out in the open, in a well-trafficked residential hallway was making her a little nervous. She’d have a hell of a time explaining herself if anyone saw her.

Thankfully, after a few tense moments, a dropped pick, and a self-deprecating curse, a soft click announced her success. She let out the breath she’d been holding and turned the knob, letting herself into Reno’s domicile.

Elena looked around, and nearly decided that she was in the wrong place. On her handful of previous visits, the place had been an utter pigsty. Reno had a tolerance for disorder that could only be described as inconceivable. Today, though… the place was practically pristine, by Reno’s standards. He certainly wasn’t going to win any housekeeping awards, but the floors were clear of the usual clutter and even appeared to have been vacuumed, the kitchen looked, if not spotless, at least sanitary… and, perhaps most shocking of all, when she ventured into his bedroom, she found that the bed was even made.

Elena shook her head. The mystery of Reno’s sudden penchant for not living like an animal would have to wait for another time. She had a mission to complete… and her objective was in sight. Mr. Foo-Foo sat unperturbed on the bed, propped up against one of the pillows. With a laugh of triumph, she snatched the bunny and bid a hasty retreat back to her car.

---

Meanwhile…

“Told you he’d hit at least six feet,” Reno crowed, a smug grin firmly in place as he gave his electro mag-rod a quick twirl. Rude shrugged, unimpressed, and pushed open the door to the Turks’ main office.

“I see your mood has finally improved,” Tseng commented. He was seated on the sofa by the window, a mug of Wutaiian tea in one hand, and an open file folder in the other.

“Nothin’ like a little shock therapy to cheer a guy up,” Reno grinned, “Hey, where’d ya hide ‘Lena? Rude’s got it on video. I gotta show her… the look on the guy’s face was priceless!”

“You were only supposed to scare him, Reno,” Tseng said, his tone disapproving, “I thought I was clear about that…”

“Ah, relax… I didn’t do any damage,” Reno replied, “He was more surprised than hurt. Funny as all hell, though. Seriously, where’s ‘Lena?”

He looked around as if expecting her to appear at the mention of her name.

“Home,” Tseng replied, “She wasn’t feeling well.”

The grin fell from Reno’s face.

“She’s sick?” He certainly hadn’t expected that.

“Yes,” Tseng confirmed, “So I sent her home.”

“Well… that sucks,” said Reno, “Now who am I supposed to show this to? Rude’s already seen it and you have no sense of humor.”

Tseng rolled his eyes.

“Just because it’s not as twisted as yours doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist,” he said, good-naturedly.

Reno eyed him suspiciously for a moment.

“Yeah?” he prodded, “Huh… ya know she seemed just fine this morning. Seems awfully convenient that she’s suddenly ‘home sick’… Our little Elena hasn’t drafted you into her next prank, has she boss?”

His tone was teasing, but Reno had long considered the possibility. Tseng had a bit of a soft spot for the rookie Turk. If anyone could talk him into finally taking sides, it was Elena. Not that he’d ever really let it concern him. Rude would always have his back if he needed a hand. That more than evened things out, in Reno’s opinion. Tseng’s tolerance for idiocy had its limits. Rude, on the other hand, was willing to keep going until someone cried uncle.

Tseng shook his head.

“I assure you… I have not decided to forgo whatever dignity I may still have left to join in your ill-conceived antics,” he said, taking a sip of tea, “Elena was ill. I sent her home. There’s really nothing more to it.”

He paused a moment before adding, “Besides which… I had hoped the two of you had finally lost interest in tormenting one another. It’s been unusually quiet for weeks now.”

“Heh… Calm before the storm, boss. Calm before the storm.”

Tseng very nearly groaned out loud. Rude patted him comfortingly on the shoulder.

“… So. She’s really sick, huh?” Reno continued, a bit more subdued than before. Tseng nodded.

“Well… that sucks,” he reiterated. He returned to his desk, tossing his mag-rod down beside a half-eaten bag of gummy worms and a spare ammo clip, a sullen look settling over his features. He’d kind of been looking forward to showing Elena that video. She always got the most indignant expression on her face when he did something inherently twisted like that. He loved teasing her about it. Now he was being denied his fun.

“If you’re going to brood,” Tseng commented, as he dumped a stack of papers in front of him, “at least make yourself useful while you’re doing it. Elena left before she had a chance to finish your backlog.”

“Ugh… paperwork,” he scoffed, “Hey, Rude… you wanna-”

“No.”

“Some friend you are.”

“He couldn’t help you even if he wanted to,” Tseng interjected, “He’s taking over Elena’s afternoon assignment and coming with me to Sector 5. Speaking of which… we should be going.”

“… Have fun,” Rude said, and Reno could have sworn he was actually smirking as the pair walked out the door, leaving him to the bane of his existence.

Reno sighed and picked up the first form, cringing at the sight of his own handwriting. How the hell was Elena able read this? He couldn’t even read half of it.

‘I ‘spose I really oughtta thank her for sparin’ me this shit one of these days,’ he mused to himself.

Coffee. That’s what he needed. No one should have to deal with paperwork without coffee. And maybe a ham sandwich. And some of those little pink cookies ‘Lena kept in her desk drawer and thought he didn’t know about…

---

Elena let herself into her apartment just before 2 pm. She had three hours… well, really more like two and a half, seeing as she still had to return the bunny before Reno got home… to make over the toy.

“Well, Mr. Foo-Foo… first thing’s first. Let’s get you cleaned up,” she said, grabbing her laundry supplies from the closet, and high-tailing it down to the complex’s communal laundry room.

When she got there, she found it surprisingly crowded, considering it was the middle of the afternoon. Two elderly women she recognized in passing hovered beside a bank of washing machines that spun their loads loudly in the narrow room. At the far end, a skinny teenage boy had commandeered two more machines and a dryer, and sat on a nearby bench looking bored. A mother and four young children occupied the side of the room opposite the old women; the two eldest boys were engaged in a mock battle, fighting one another with a broom, and what looked like an old soup ladle. Their mother ignored them for the most part, her attention occupied by her two smaller children and the load of laundry she was tiredly transferring to a dryer.

Elena hurried to claim one of the only two empty washers in the room, at the far end near the teen. She popped Mr. Foo-Foo in, along with a generous helping of detergent, and started the wash cycle.

A short while later, she checked her watch again. 2:30 pm. ‘Plenty of time,’ she thought.

Her stomach chose that moment to growl at her loudly, reminding her that she’d skipped breakfast this morning, having been planning on sampling a new Mideel-style restaurant at lunch time. Her unexpected clandestine operation, however, had resulted in her skipping lunch as well.

‘Well… it’s not like you can do much of anything else right now…’ a little voice told her as the wash cycle finished and she moved Mr. Foo-Foo into an empty dryer. It couldn’t hurt to raid the vending machines really quickly…

---

“Hey, Rude,” Reno prodded. After Rude had strolled back into the office around three-thirty with Tseng, it had taken Reno all of five minutes to talk Rude into helping him out with the pile of paperwork. Tseng, on the other hand, had made a hasty retreat into his own office.

“…” Sunglass-hidden eyes glanced up at him,

“You doin’ anything tonight?” he asked. He’d gotten it into his head that maybe someone ought to check up on Elena. Make sure she was coming back to work tomorrow. Because if she wasn’t, he was going to be doing this Ifrit-forsaken data entry all day tomorrow as well.

And alright… he also kind of hated thinking about her all alone and sick.

“… Kinda,” Rude replied. Reno gave a short laugh. ‘Kinda.’ He had a pretty good idea what that meant. It was that bartender down below in Sector 7 again. The guy was crushing… hard. Reno shook his head. Aside from her being a suspected sympathizer, or possibly even a member, of an anti-Shinra group that had recently popped up on the Turk’s radar, she was also a real nasty piece of work in Reno’s opinion.

Though, to be fair, that was his opinion of anyone who physically threw him out of a bar and into the gutter, and told him not to come back. Hell, he wasn’t even the one who’d started the bar fight. He’d damn well finished it, though. Next thing he knew, he was flying head over heals through the door. Who’da guessed the chick was so strong?

“Yeah, ok… Nevermind, then,” Reno said, giving Rude a knowing look.

“…”

“Still dunno what you see in her,” he added, before smiling lewdly, “… You know… besides the obvious. Doesn’t really make up for the personality issues, though.”

“…”

“Oh, come on. Don’t be like that,” he said in an affronted tone, “Ya know I’m just teasin’ ya.”

“…”

“Whatever. Have fun,” he said with a lecherous grin. It seemed Reno was on his own to visit Elena. Behind his sunglasses, Rude just rolled his eyes. Reno stood up and headed for the door.

“I’m grabbin’ another coffee. You want anything?”

“… Apple juice?”

“Tch… seriously? What are we? Five?” Reno teased.

“You offered,” Rude shrugged.

---

Four minutes. It couldn’t possibly have been more than four minutes. Things had been perfectly fine four minutes ago.

Elena had left the laundry room. She had walked unhurriedly down the hallway and around the corner. She’d paused in front of the vending machines, and dithered over whether she wanted something salty or sweet before finally settling on sweet. She made her purchase and taken a bite, savoring the creamy chocolate before turning and calmly meandering back the way she’d come.

Four minutes. It couldn’t possibly have been more than that.

What she returned to was pandemonium. She’d heard it, and smelled it, well before she saw it. At first, Elena had just thought the two little boys had gotten even more rowdy… but then she heard the alarm go off and caught the scent of smoke in the air.

“What in the world… ?” she gasped, as her leisurely pace quickly become a sprint. By the time she reached the laundry room, smoke was billowing through the doorway and the other residents were rushing to make a hasty exit. This couldn’t possibly be good…

Elena pushed her way past the fleeing apartment dwellers, coughing harshly as the acrid smoke that was rapidly filling the room hit her. She waved a hand in front of her face in a futile effort to clear the air, a feeling of dread setting in.

‘Forget smoke inhalation… if anything happens to Mr. Foo-Foo, Reno is gonna kill me!’ she thought, plunging deeper into the room. The farther she went, the thicker the smoke got. Come to think of it, it seemed to be much thicker the closer she got to her dryer.

“Oh, dear sweet Holy… no…” she moaned, feeling her blood run cold. She switched direction and seized the extinguisher by the door, before turning back and racing toward the dryer… only to find herself flat on her face a moment later when her feet tangled on something stretched across the aisle. The extinguisher flew out of her hands and skittered across the floor.

She spared the briefest of glances down as she clambered back to her feet. It was a broom.

“Stupid kids!” she muttered, reclaiming the fire extinguisher, and barreling toward her goal. Flames were licking the edges of the dryer’s door. Without thinking, Elena grabbed the handle and bit back a shriek of pain as the hot metal burned her fingers, but she wrenched it open anyway. She aimed the extinguisher into the open dryer and pulled the trigger.

The next thing she knew, she was engulfed in a cloud of yellowish-gray chemicals as the fire suppressant filled the inside of the dryer, and then, having no more room, rebounded back on her. She backed away instinctively, but still ended up coughing and sputtering and spitting out chalky, bitter-tasting powder.

When the air finally cleared enough that she dared open her eyes, she looked, with an icy dread, at the sight that lay before her.

“I’m so dead,” she squeaked.

Elena reached for the charred, smoking remains of Mr. Foo-Foo, hesitantly pulling his mangled body from the dryer. One ear was burned down to a stump, and he was missing an arm. The bunny’s torso was blackened and split open, and some of the stuffing was still smoldering. His fur, which had already been badly matted to begin with, was not not only burnt, but also caked in fire retardant chemicals, and the button eyes had melted and fused to his head in a grotesque parody of a child’s toy.

“So… so… so… dead,” she intoned.

And then the sprinklers finally went off.

---

Her shoes squished loudly as Elena slogged back into her apartment. The fire department had only let people back inside moments ago, after more than an hour spent determining that the fire was, in fact, out. Cradled in her arms was what was left of Mr. Foo-Foo. She felt chilled, and it had nothing to do with the fact that she was still soaking wet and filthy.

Elena let herself drop gracelessly into one of her kitchen chairs, and laid the charred and sopping lump of fabric and fluff on the table.

“What have I done?” she moaned, and buried her face in her hands. She could feel the tears pricking at corners of her eyes, and vehemently willed them away, only to be hit by a fresh wave of despair a moment later, as she imagined what would happen when Reno found out.

He would be devastated. Elena chewed her lower lip in worry. She knew what that toy had represented to him – the only tangible reminder he had of his mother. And she had just destroyed it.

Destroyed it? Hell, she’d practically cremated it. He’d never forgive her. Never.

‘How am I even going to tell him?’ she wondered. And she knew she had to tell him. Sure… she could cover it up; get rid of the evidence and claim ignorance of the whole thing. She was home sick, recovering from a sudden illness, completely unaware of anything that may or may not have involved as certain stuffed bunny. It was tempting.

It was also completely unrealistic. The fact was, despite her success with convincing Tseng to send her home, in general, Elena was a terrible liar… and on top of that, the guilt alone would drive her to confess the moment Reno brought the subject up. The worst part was that no matter how much remorse she felt, Reno was just going to be so deeply hurt. And she wasn’t sure there was anything she could ever do to make it up to him.

And to think… this whole mess happened all because she’d wanted to show Reno that he was more to her than just a rival to play outlandish pranks on for a little fun. He was a friend. A good friend.

Or at least he had been. She was fairly certain that any affinity Reno might have had for her had just, quite literally, gone up in flames. He would despise her after this.

Elena’s chest constricted painfully at that thought. She’d made a lot of mistakes in her short time as a rookie Turk, but this was by far the cruelest, most heartless thing that had ever resulted from one of her screw-ups.

“I’m a horrible person…” she finally said with a sob, as the dam holding back her tears slowly began to crack. Her only consolation was that at least she wouldn’t have to face Reno until tomorrow. She was pretty sure that if she had to do it now, she would utterly break.

Elena was abruptly jarred from her rapid downward spiral by a knock at the door. She sighed and numbly made her way over, too lost in her present crisis to even bother wondering who it could be.

Twisting the doorknob, she pulled it open and looked up at her visitor…

Elena’s eyes widened, and her breath caught in her throat, as she realized who she was looking at… and she did the only thing she could think of. She slammed the door in Reno’s face and backed away in horror.

---

To say that her reaction had caught him off guard was an understatement, would be an understatement in and of itself. Reno stood at Elena’s door for a moment, trying to sort out what had just happened… not to mention what he’d just seen. Elena had gone white as a ghost as soon as she’d laid eyes on him.

” ‘Lena?’ he called out, trying the door and finding it locked, “Hey! Are you alright? ‘Lena, let me in!”

He received no reply, but he could clearly hear her moving around inside the apartment. And a moment later, a shout, followed by thud, followed by what sounded like panicked cursing.

” ‘Lena?!” he called again, decidedly alarmed now, “Ah, the hell with this…”

He’d deal with the property damage later. Right now, he just wanted to make sure she was alright. The door yielded easily to a little brute force, and Reno was in.

He found her sprawled on the floor, one leg entwined with the legs of the chair she’d apparently fallen over, looking for all the world like a condemned prisoner on the way to her own execution. Reno was somewhat taken aback by the terrified, yet resigned, expression Elena wore as he moved toward her.

” ‘Lena?” he questioned. He leaned down, untangled her, and righted the chair, before lifting her bodily from the floor and placing her in it.

---

Elena swore angrily as she lay in a heap on the ground.

‘Stupid!’ she chastised herself, futily glaring at the chair she’d almost managed to break her neck falling over. She was not the least bit surprised to hear the sound of splintering wood a moment later. An apartment door wouldn’t hold off a determined Turk for any significant amount of time. She looked up to find Reno heading toward her, and her heart twisted at the expression of concern he wore. That concern would soon turn to betrayal… or hurt… or fury… or all of the above. Her lower lip trembled as she accepted the inevitable.

” ‘Lena?” Reno’s voice was questioning and cautious. Elena bit back a sob. He was the only person who ever called her ‘Lena. She had absolutely hated it at first, because it sounded so juvenile – and she was pretty sure he’d started doing it just to irritate her – but over time it had grown on her. She wondered if he’d still call her that, or if she’d just be ‘Elena’ again after he found out. For that matter, she wondered if they’d even be on speaking terms.

Elena heard, more than saw, the chair being set back on its legs, and seconds later, a pair of strong hands lifted her off the floor and set her carefully on the abused piece of furniture.

Reno’s hands gripped her gently, but firmly, by the shoulders, forcing her eyes back up to meet his gaze.

“What the hell is going on, ‘Lena?” he asked in a worried tone, “What happened to you?”

His eyes took in her bedraggled appearance, and Elena realized that she must look rather bizarre sitting there in the middle of her kitchen, still soggy and covered in fire suppressant and soot. She opened her mouth to reply, but no sound came out.

“Come on, ‘Lena… What’s wrong?” he prodded, lifting a hand to tuck a few strands of hair back behind her ear, “You know you can tell me…”

That was enough to finally do her in. Between the soft touch as his fingers grazed her cheek, the concern in his voice, and the insistent demand to know what had reduced her to such a state, Elena couldn’t hold back any longer.

“Reno, I’m so sorry! I-it was an accident! I s-swear I d-didn’t do it on purpose!” she stammered between sobs. The dam broke altogether then, the tears it had been holding back making their way down her cheeks freely, leaving streaks in the grime.

Reno pulled her against his chest in an awkward embrace, as she sobbed into the lapel of his suit jacket.

---

‘What the hell…’ had been his first thought when Elena has started apologizing as if her life depended on it. And the the tears had started, and he really began to worry.

Reno did the only thing he really could do… he held her and let her cry, tensing when she had buried her face against his chest. He had never been good at this sort of thing… in fact, as a general rule, he tried to avoid it at all costs… and he was sure that Elena could feel the stiff apprehension in his posture.

He hated seeing women cry… mostly because he inevitably felt entirely useless through the entire ordeal, but also because it tended to dredge up unpleasant memories. But what else could he do? This was ‘Lena… he couldn’t just leave her to her misery and hope it all sorted itself out, now could he?

Gradually, the sobs that wracked her body began to diminish, as Elena slowly regained her composure. When he’d judged that enough time had passed in silence, Reno finally moved back a step, holding her at arms length so he could look her over.

“Feel better?” he asked softly. Elena sniffled but didn’t answer, refusing to meet his gaze, “Hey, come on,” he said, tilting her chin up and making her look at him.

“Whatever it is, it can’t be that bad,” he insisted, “So what’s wrong? … And what on earth are you covered in?”

He rubbed some of the damp, powdery substance between his fingers. Whatever it was, it was everywhere; clumped in Elena’s hair, coating her exposed skin, caked onto her wet clothes… He frowned at the gritty texture and chemical smell it gave off. He decided that he didn’t care what it was at the moment… it definitely wasn’t something a person should have all over them for any length of time.

“Ok… here’s the plan,” he said, guiding her towards the bathroom, “First, you’re gonna go wash this crap off, and then you’re gonna tell me what kind of trouble you’ve managed to get yourself into. In excruciating detail.”

“Y-yes, sir,” Elena whispered. He watched silently as she disappeared into her bedroom, and moments later, heard the tap turn on in the attached bathroom.

‘Yes, sir?’ he thought, ‘Since when does she call me “sir”?’

Sure, Elena could be a stickler for regulations, and he was technically her superior… but it wasn’t as if they were on the clock at the moment. Hell, the only person on the team who ever really merited a ‘sir’ was Tseng. Reno, personally, couldn’t care less, and Elena had been calling him by name since shortly after she’d been promoted. Why the formality now?

Reno wondered if he should contact Tseng. The Turk leader would certainly want to be kept in the loop if one of his own was in trouble. Then again, he had no idea if this was a personal issue or a professional one. And if it was personal, he didn’t want to make things worse by violating her privacy and involving the boss if it wasn’t strictly necessary.

He sighed and brushed some of the powdery substance off his jacket. No… it would be better to wait until he had more information to work with before he got anyone else involved.

---

Elena stood under the spray of hot water, watching the fire suppressant swirl down the drain. Turning up the temperature as hot as she could stand it, she mechanically washed it out of her hair and scrubbed it from her skin.

‘You are such a coward,’ she told herself, ‘Couldn’t even get the words out…’

She’d started to confess… she’d gotten as far as a pathetic attempt at an apology before her guilt and shame had gotten the better of her.

‘A weak, pathetic coward,’ her inner monologue continued. And the worst part was that Reno had been doing his best to comfort her… which only made her feel more ashamed of what she’d done, and more unable to admit to it.

She longed to stay under the spray of the faucet. Maybe if she took long enough, Reno would just give up and leave. She snorted derisively as soon as she thought it.

‘Not likely,’ she told herself, ‘Probably’d barge right in to make sure I’m still alive. It’s not like Reno’s known for being shy.’

Elena sighed and turned off the water. She reached for the towel she’d left on the hook and dried herself off before wrapping it around her body and heading to her closet for some clean clothes.

‘Can’t put it off any longer,’ she finally thought, ‘Time to face the music.’

---

Meanwhile, Reno had been snooping, hoping for some clue as to what was going on with his fellow Turk. So far, all he’d uncovered was a lump of soggy, burnt fabric sitting on Elena’s kitchen table. Now, he sat at the table, poking at the strange mass.

Reno picked it up, grimacing at the feel of it. It was heavy with water – at least he hoped it was only water – and coated in the same chemical powder Elena had been. The fabric was badly charred and beginning to fall apart, and some sort of stuffing was escaping from the seams that were giving way. It looked like some sort of toy. He turned it over, looking at the thing’s face… and froze.

“No…” he whispered, “It can’t be…”

What was left of the toy’s face was a distorted mosaic of melted buttons and scorched fluff, but he knew it too well not to recognize it.

Reno’s stomach dropped, and he felt as if he’d just taken a physical blow. All these years… Mr. Foo-Foo had somehow survived the worst the slums had to offer, Turk missions, and mandatory camping trips from hell. One day alone with Elena, and there was hardly anything left of him.

The sense of loss was profound. Mr. Foo-Foo had been a reminder… a sort of totem to memories Reno had been afraid would slip away without him. For a moment, he couldn’t breathe. Mr. Foo-Foo was the only thing he had left of her… his mother. The only thing. He’d never even had so much as a photo of her. Just Mr. Foo-Foo.

“How could she… ?” he whispered in disbelief. Elena knew. He’d told her the whole story. She knew why he kept it. She knew why he… cherished it. And she’d destroyed it.

A cold fury settled over him, fighting with the hurt he felt. Had this been part of her next prank? Had Elena taken the toy as bait or blackmail? He set the remains of the toy bunny down on the table and clenched his fists. If that were the case, she was going to have a hell of a lot of explaining to do… and if he wasn’t satisfied with her explanation, well, frankly, he wasn’t sure what he was going to do… but Elena certainly wasn’t going to like it.

Reno heard the water shut off in the bathroom. He stood and walked across the apartment, his calm outward demeanor hiding the rage he currently felt, stopping just outside the door to Elena’s bedroom and crossing his arms over his chest. He glared at the closed door, and he waited.

---

Dressed in sweatpants and a t-shirt, Elena slowly reached for the door knob. There was no use putting it off… her time was up. Steeling herself, she turned the knob and opened the door… and came face to face with Reno. Elena froze, her whole body going numb, when she saw the look on his face. He knew…

Gone was the look of concern and compassion, replaced by an icy glare that seemed to pierce her to the core.

“Start. Talkin’,” he ground out, never taking his eyes off of her.

And the next thing she knew, she was babbling, trying to explain, apologize, and beg for mercy all at the same time.

“I-I’m so sorry, Reno! You were upset this morning, and then I had to go and open my big mouth and you were mad at me, and then Tseng and reports, and I thought maybe I could do something nice for you, and I-I told Tseng I was sick and got Mr. F-foo-Foo and wanted to wash him first, but then the dryer… t-the s-smoke and flames and I had to put it out and the sprinklers, and oh, god, Reno, I’m so sorry!”

She was not going to start crying like an overgrown child again. She was not. She was going to get through this if it – or Reno – killed her. At last, she dropped her gaze to the floor in an effort to maintain at least some semblance of self-control.

“I’m sorry… Please… please don’t hate me…” she pleaded miserably, her voice sounding small and weak even to her own ears.

---

Reno watched as Elena seemed to close in on herself, and he couldn’t help it… as angry as he was over the loss of his most valued possession, seeing ‘Lena in such a state of abject shame and remorse somehow pushed that all aside.

He sighed. The woman had a remarkable aptitude for doling out punishment on herself when her confidence was shaken… and in this instance, her confidence was non-existent.

Reno shook his head and covered the distance between them in a few short steps. Elena actually flinched when he reached out and laid a hand on her shoulder, and the implications of that reaction concerned him greatly.

He hadn’t completely followed her rambling, near-frantic explanation of the events leading up to Mr. Foo-Foo’s untimely demise… but he gathered that she’d been trying to make up for their conversation that morning and something had gone horribly wrong. He also realized that she truly believed that she’d done something unforgivable.

Sure, he was pissed… but in the end, it was only a toy – much as he might normally claim otherwise. There were more important things. And it looked like he desperately needed to make that clear.

“Elena…” he said, careful to keep any lingering animosity out of his voice, “Look at me.”

Elena hesitated a moment, looking for all the world as though she feared the worst.

“I don’t hate you, ‘Lena,” Reno said firmly when she finally met his eye.

“You-you’re not mad?” she managed, swallowing harshly against her own disbelief.

“Oh… I’m furious,” Reno replied, and Elena winced, “But I don’t hate you. Come on, ‘Lena. You gotta know me better than that by now…”

He put an arm around her and ushered her over to the sofa.

“And quit flinchin’ like I’m gonna tear you limb from limb,” he added, noting the way she’d suddenly tensed her entire body the moment he touched her, “Ya can’t seriously think I’d ever hurt ya…”

“S-sorry,” she whispered. He gently pushed her down onto the cushions and sat down beside her.

“I know you’re sorry,” he said, “You’ve said so at least four times in the last two minutes by my count… not to mention that little freakout you had when I showed up at your door. I get the point.”

Elena was silent.

“Seriously, ‘Lena… talk to me, ok? And don’t you dare start cryin’ again. One emotional breakdown is all I can take.”

“Sorry,” she replied, and then shook her head as if realizing that her vocabulary seemed to have shrunk to a single word.

“Well, this conversation is certainly going well…” Reno said, trying to lighten the mood a bit, “What exactly do I have to do to convince you I’m not planning to kill you?”

“I can’t believe you’re even still speaking to me,” Elena finally replied, “I thought for sure you’d… you’d be…”

“What? That’d I’d disavow ya or something?” Reno supplied, “Fuck, ‘Lena, what kind of a bastard do you think I am? I mean, I’m not exactly thrilled here, and I’m still more than slightly ticked at you… but I’ll get over it.”

“You will?”

Reno looked at her strangely. He’d always known that Elena could get a little down on herself, but this was taking things too far.

“Of course I will. Mr. Foo-Foo was important to me, but for fuck’s sake… it was just a toy. I’m not gonna end a friendship over a damn toy.”

“Lately I-I was starting to wonder if we even were still friends,” she admitted after a moment, daring to look up at him again. Reno was taken aback.

“Why would you even think something like that, ‘Lena?” he asked, thoroughly perplexed, as he searched his memory for anything he might have said or done recently to cause so much doubt in her mind. When it became obvious that no answer was forthcoming, he felt a flash of annoyance.

“Oh, hell no…” he said, a bit more harshly than he’d intended, “You don’t get to say somethin’ like that and then not tell me what the hell is going on in that apparently completely outta-touch-with-reality head of yours!”

He regretted his tone the moment the words left his mouth, but the fact was that he was being pulled in so many emotional directions at the moment that Elena’s perpetual guilt trip was starting to aggravate him, “You’re gonna explain that. Right now.”

---

Elena took a deep, shuddering breath. It never failed… things would start to seem like they were going her way, and then she’d say or do something to screw it up. Every time.

“I… just thought- It just seemed like you’ve been… I don’t know… tired of having me around lately,” she said lamely. God, she sounded so inadequate… but she pushed on anyway. “I mean… the only thing we ever do together is try to one-up each other with stupid jokes. And you haven’t even done that in… in weeks. I was starting to think you’d just gotten bored with me. And since I wasn’t entertaining anymore…”

She trailed off, not quite sure how to finish that thought without causing herself more humiliation than she already felt.

“So, let me get this straight,” Reno said after several tense moments of complete silence, “You somehow got it in your head that we weren’t friends… because I stopped tormenting you.”

His voice was incredulous.

” ‘Lena, that may be the most idiotic thing you’ve ever said to me.”

Elena had no idea what to say to that, torn between feeling decidedly insulted and oddly relieved at being called an idiot. Thankfully, Reno saved her the trouble of answering by all but flinging his arms around her and squeezing her so tight she could hardly breathe. She closed her eyes and leaned into the embrace, feeling her fear and doubt ebb away.

She wasn’t sure how long they sat like that. Suddenly, Reno snickered.

“Ya know… if you’d just waited until tomorrow, you’d have found out exactly how ‘bored’ I am with makin’ you look stupid…”

“W-what?” she stammered, lifting her head off his chest.

“Yeah… took me weeks to set it up. That’s why you’ve had it so easy lately…”

---

The next morning, Elena walked into the office, yawning and rubbing somewhat bloodshot eyes. Reno had stayed late into the night, and they’d had a very long, very serious talk that had left her feeling a thousand times better.

“Elena?” Tseng queried, eying her with apprehension, “If you’re still feeling ill, there was no need to come in this morning. We can manage without you for one more day…”

“Oh… Thank you, sir… but I’m actually feeling much better today, ” she replied.

‘Oh, no…’ she thought, ‘I completely forgot that I was supposed to have been sick yesterday!’

And then an even worse thought occurred to her.

‘What if Reno tells him?!’ By all rights, he really should. Technically speaking, he was even obligated to do so, as second in command.

“No offense, but you don’t look it,” Tseng replied, “Actually, you suddenly look quite pale.”

“Er… I…”

She had no doubt she looked pale. She was about to be caught in her lie, and Tseng was not going to be pleased. Just when she thought she was doomed, however, fate seemed to cut her a break for once.

“Yo, ‘Lena… you don’t look so good,” a voice piped up from the doorway. She looked over to see Reno and Rude. ‘When did they get here?’ she wondered. She hadn’t even noticed.

“… You alright?” Rude asked, looking her over. Elena shrank under the added scrutiny.

“Uh… Y-yeah. I’m fine”

“I dunno,” Reno opined, and circled her, shooting her a somewhat sadistic grin when he reached a point where only she could see it, “Awfully quick recovery, if you ask me…”

Elena’s eyes widened slightly. He was going to rat her out! Though, in the grand scheme of things, she had to admit… she deserved it. Reno let her suffer a few more moments before turning to Rude.

“Whaddaya think, partner?” he asked, “She look healthy to you? I mean, if this is her idea of ‘fine’, she musta had one foot in the grave yesterday…”

Rude shrugged, but the troubled expression remained. Tseng cleared his throat.

“Reno, stop being an ass,” he said, “Elena… go home.”

“I-I… but sir, I’m…”

Tseng held up a hand to silence her.

“No. Go home. That’s an order.”

“Really… I’m fine!” she said, somewhat mortified. What the hell was Reno playing at? Was he going to tell him, or was he just putting in some extra effort to make her squirm?

“Want me to take her home, boss?” Reno offered casually, as if the idea had only just occurred to him.

“Hmph… Why do I get the feeling you’re only offering in order to get out of our meeting with Scarlet that’s due to start in twenty minutes?”

“Me?” Reno gasped, “Play on your feelings of concern for ‘Lena just to get out of a meeting? Tseng… I’m shocked you’d even think such a thing. Shocked!”

Rude snorted. “… Laying it on a little thick there, Reno,” he commented.

“Yes… how could I ever doubt your sincerity?” came Tseng’s unusually sarcastic retort, “Fine… take her home, make sure she’s comfortable and then come straight back. One Turk short today we can handle… two would be a problem. So don’t take the scenic route.”

“Yeah sure, boss… no problem,” Reno replied, grabbing Elena by the arm and propelling her out the door ahead of him before Tseng could change his mind. He said nothing further until they were alone in an elevator descending to the parking deck.

“I ever tell you you’re a crap liar?” he said, grinning.

“Y-You’re not going to tell him I was faking yesterday?” Elena said, somewhat disbelieving of her luck.

“Nah…”

“But… why?”

“Tch… What Tseng doesn’t know won’t hurt him,” Reno replied, “Plus, if I tell him that, I gotta explain how I found out in the first place, and then he’s gonna want to hear the whole sordid story, and that’s just way more trouble than it’s worth… aaaaaaaand maybe I don’t wanna see Tseng pissed off at you. Even if you do kinda deserve it.”

“Thanks, Reno,” she said with sincerity.

“Oh… don’t thank me yet. See, I’ve thought of a way you can make things up to me after yesterday’s Mr. Foo-Foo fiasco, ” Reno replied, his grin widening.

“H-how?” she asked nervously.

“Well… I dropped by to see the kid down the street this morning, to see about getting Snuffy back. Kid’s mom practically begged me to take him before I even asked.”

“But I thought you weren’t allowed to keep him at your place,” Elena replied. She didn’t like where this was going.

“Oh… I’m not,” said Reno, “But your building has no such rule.”

“What?!” she shrieked, “You can’t be serious!”

Reno smirked.

“I’m dead serious,” he replied, “You’re gonna take Snuffy. You’re gonna feed him, and play with him, and let him run around your apartment to his little heart’s content.”

Elena was about to protest. The idea of actually living with some creepy little ferret-rat was less than appealing, even if she did owe Reno a huge debt.

“And I’m gonna come visit him whenever I feel like it,” he added, before she could say anything. Elena’s protest died on her lips.

Visit Snuffy? So… that meant he’d be visiting her, too, right? And not just to set her up for the next punchline. He’d just be there as… a friend.

Somehow, having Snuffy move in with her suddenly didn’t seem so bad.

“Well… I guess we can work something out,” Elena said, smiling slightly. No… not so bad at all.

-fin-