Desha's Reno of the Turks Fan Fiction

Chapter 8: When Valentine’s Day Attacks

Reno polished off his third beer of the night, and motioned for another. Another day at work was over, and, tommorrow being Friday, the weekend stretched out welcomingly, just waiting for him to finish off that pesky last day of the week. All in all, Reno was in a pretty damned good mood.

“Hey, Rude,” he said, grinning widely, and poking his drinking buddy and fellow-Turk in the ribs, “Valentine’s day is tomorrow… Spendin’ it with anyone in particular?”

“… No.”

“Valentine’s Day is just another excuse for the greeting card companies to make a little extra cash,” Elena grumbled, irritably nursing a wine cooler.

“Aw, you only say that because Tseng didn’t ask you out. I told ya… just ask him yourself, and he’d probably say yes… but did you listen? No. You went off into your little fantasy world, hoping he’d come and sweep you off your feet like the guys in those stupid romance novels you’re always readin’. It’s pathetic, ‘Lena.”

“…” Rude inched slowly away from the redhead, suspecting that his mouth was going to get him into trouble… Sometimes Reno just didn’t know when to stop goading the rookie Turk. And it usually didn’t end well.

“I mean it’s obvious you like him… If you didn’t turn into such a babbling idiot when he’s around, you might even have a chance with him…”

“Shut up, Reno,” Elena snapped. But Reno was intent on speaking his mind. Rude sat back and watched, mesmerized. It was a bit like a train wreck.

“Seriously, ‘Lena! You should see yourself when you try to talk to him. It’s hilarious!” he continued… Reno was definitly buzzed by this point, his inhibitions squashed flat and long forgotten, utterly oblivious to the glare Elena was casting at him, “I’ve never seen anyone get so tongue-tied, yo…”

This wasn’t going to be pretty, Rude was sure. Granted, Elena and Reno had been getting along better than they ever had after Tseng had forced them to spend an entire week alone together, but occasionally Reno just made you want to smack him. And the redhead knew it, too… and seemed to thrive on the fact.

“I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again,” Reno added, turning to face her, “Don’t act so weak.”

That was definitely the last straw, Rude could see it in her eyes. He ducked, just in case.

Reno didn’t.

A hard right hook caught the redhead unprepared, and sent him tumbling off his bar stool. He watched, slightly dazed, sprawled on the floor, as Elena stormed out of the bar. Once she was gone, Rude deemed the situation safe once more, and helped his fallen friend back up.

“Was it something I said?” Reno asked, with a lop-sided grin.

———-

‘Roses are red, but this one is white. I’m sorry that I made you punch me last night. I’ll make it up to you, I promise to you. Just don’t hit me again… My eye’s still black and blue.’

Elena snorted in quiet laughter as she read the card affixed to the stem of single white rose. It had been waiting for her on her desk when she’d come in to work. Reno’s untidy scrawl was unmistakeable, as was his signature sense of humor.

Truth be told, she’d felt a little bad about hitting him… once her initial anger’d had a chance to abate, that is. And much as she hated to admit it (and she really hated to admit it…), Reno had been right. Obnoxious, but right. She should have asked Tseng out for Valentine’s Day herself. She had been hoping against hope that he would ask her. And she did tend to babble like an idiot when she attempted to speak to the Wutaian Turk in anything less than a professional capacity. Still… had it really been necessary for Reno to point all of that out to her?

Elena lifted the rose and inhaled its sweet scent, smiling.

It was awfully nice of him to appologize for it, she had to give him that. The truth was, she felt that she was the one who owed him an appology.

“So… Am I forgiven? Or should I go into hiding for a few more days?” a voice drawled from the doorway. Elena snapped out of her reverie and looked up. Reno’s head was peeking cautiously around the doorframe. His left eye was ringed by large bruise that had turned a hideous shade of bluish-purple overnight.

“Oh, Reno!” Elena gasped, “A-are your alright? I… I didn’t realize I’d hit you that hard!”

“Tch… You’ve got a helluva right hook, girl,” Reno said, looking relieved that she wasn’t stil angry, “But I think I’ll live. ‘Sides… you know how easy I bruise. It looks worse than it really is.”

“You’re sure?” she asked, not entirely convinced.

“Yeah, yeah…” Reno said, waving her off as she got up from behind the desk, “Listen… If we’re back on good terms again, I had an idea I wanted to run past you.”

“An… idea?” Elena queried, not sure where this was going.

“Well, we do still owe Tseng for his little camping trip from hell, ya know. It’s been weeks… and we haven’t tried anything. Though I gotta admit, it was fun watching him jump at shadows expecting us to do something in retaliation. But I think he’s finally let his guard down. Now’s our chance to really get him good,” said Reno, sadistic intent in his eyes.

“I… I don’t know, Reno…” Elena replied, “I mean… it’ll just get us into trouble again.”

While it was true that she’d agreed to “join” Reno after their forced camping trip, the heat of the moment had long since passed, and she was beginning to think that she’d been a little hasty.

“Heh… Gettin’ cold feet, ‘Lena?” Reno grinned knowingly, as he stepped fully inside her small office and closed the door behind him. Her reaction wasn’t exactly a surprise… she was still largely testing the waters of her position with the Turks. Stepping out of line… even thinking about stepping out of line… unnerved her, and Reno knew it.

“W-Well…”

“What if I told you that by the end of it, you’ll be having a nice candlelit dinner with Tsengy-kins on Valentine’s Day?”

Oh, yes… That got her attention. He could literally see her beginning to crack.

“Doesn’t sound like much of a prank… What’s the plan?” she asked, narrowing her eyes at him.

Bingo.

“So glad you asked,” Reno said.

———-

“What happened to you?” Tseng asked upon spying his second-in-command reclined on the sofa in the Turk’s private lounge, an ice pack held over his eye. Reno lifted the ice pack away, revealing the deep purple bruise it was covering.

“Don’t ask,” he muttered. Tseng sighed, wondering just how much trouble Reno’d managed to get into last night, and where said trouble had occured.

“Care to explain?” he dead-panned, his arms folded across his chest. It wasn’t a request.

“Tch… I pissed off Elena, that’s all,” Reno replied. Tseng cocked an eyebrow.

“I should have known having the two of you on civil terms was just too good to be true,” he noted, “What happened?”

“I forgot to duck,” the redhead said with a shrug.

“I meant,” Tseng patiently spelled out, “What did you do to make her angry enough to give you a black eye?”

Reno opened his mouth to reply, but it was at that moment the very topic of conversation herself walked into the lounge, shot an icy glare at Reno, stormed across the room and poured herself a cup of coffee.

“Mornin’, ‘Lena!” Reno said cheerfully. Elena pointedly ignored him, picked up her coffee, and stormed back out of the room. Tseng groaned inwardly. Weeks of peace and quiet… weeks in which he had dared to hope that the feud between the two Turks had ended permanently… all brought to an end in a single night. He could already feel the familiar headache beginning.

———-

“Oh… You’re good. For a minute there, I almost thought you really were ticked at me,” Reno said, grinning madly as he slipped into the elevator alongside the female Turk. Elena shyly returned the smile at the compliment.

“Do you think Tseng believed it?”

“Hell, yeah he believed it!” Reno laughed, “You shoulda seen his face. Almost made me feel sorry for him…”

“So what’s the next step?”

“Next, we enlist a little outside help…”

“Outside help?” Elena asked.

“Heh… El Presidente’s secretary owes me a favor. I plan on calling it in.”

“W-what are you going to do?” suddenly not liking the direction this was taking. A joke on Tseng was one thing… but getting the President of Shinra, Inc. involved? Elena wasn’t sure she liked that idea.

“Relax, ‘Lena…” Reno replied, “It’s nothin’ that’ll get us in any real trouble… ‘cept maybe with Tseng, when he finds out he’s been had… I just need to borrow a little stationary, that’s all. Can’t forge a direct order from the President without his personal stationary, after all…”

———-

“What’s up, boss?” Reno drawled, sauntering into Tseng’s office.

‘Right, on cue,’ he thought to himself, spying the sheet of paper in Tseng’s hand. Of course, he already knew exactly what it said, having composed it himself… and forged Shinra’s signature (which had not been a remotely an easy task). Moments later, Elena joined the little group, narrowing her eyes evilly at Reno, but otherwise ignoring him.

“You wanted to see me, sir?” she asked Tseng, in her most professional voice.

“I have an assignment for the two of you,” he replied.

‘Oh, so predictable,’ Reno mused silently, ‘A little hostility between Turks, and his natural reaction is to force us to work together. Tseng, you’re walking right into our hands…’

“It seems that one of our researchers has been selling company secrets. The President wants him neutralized. Immediately,” Tseng continued, apparently oblivious to Reno’s inner monolouge, handing a dossier to Elena… a dossier, that Reno knew to be a complete forgery. The man in the file didn’t exist… never had existed. That part had been a serious risk. If Tseng had sensed something was wrong, and had dug around in the company records to verify the information, the forgery would have been revealed immediately… but using an actual employee file was out of the question. It would not bode well for either him or Elena if an innocent employee ended up dead just because Tseng happened to run into them first. Fortunately, it seemed that Reno’s little ruse had been convincing enough, and Tseng had accepted the file at face value.

“Yes, sir,” Elena replied, accepting the folder. Tseng glanced at Reno.

“No problem, boss,” he said with an indifferent shrug, “We’ll have it taken care of by quittin’ time.”

“Then get going,” said Tseng, dismissing the two Turks. Elena turned sharply, and strode smartly out the door. Reno gave Tseng a casual wave and followed suit, not in any particular hurry.

“And now the fun begins…” said Reno, as soon as they were out of earshot.

———-

Sector 4 of the Plate was largely reserved for the most respectable and upscale businesses of upper Midgar. High-end hotels… five-star restaurants… shopping plazas… department stores… It was where high society spent their time. And their money.

And it was where Reno and Elena were casually making their way through the waves of pedestrians busily window shopping on the main street.

“Ok, Reno…” Elena finally said, as she hurried to keep up, “What’s the deal… you still haven’t filled me in on the details!”

“I know, I know… just hold on a little longer. Soon as we get where we’re goin’, I’ll explain everything.”

They moved quickly along the street, Elena practically jogging to keep up with Reno’s longer stride. Suddenly, he stopped short in front of a large glass revolving door. He grabbed her by the wrist, and pulled her inside.

“R-Reno… This is…”

“Pretty swanky, huh?” Reno grinned. Swanky was an understatement. Elena gazed around at the huge lobby of the The Silver Swan… easily the most expensive hotel in upper Midgar. Plush carpeting spread out in a red swath leading to a huge polished marble staircase. Deep grey columns flanked it on either side. The uncovered portions of the floor were of the same stone, and and the walls were paneled with beautifully rich hardwood. A trio of crystal chandeliers hung from the high ceiling, bathing the entire room in soft golden light.

A man in a very expensive-looking suit was rounding the concierge’s desk, making a beeline for the two Turks, whom, Elena belated realized, must have looked horribly out of place. Especially Reno, with his unkempt hair, sloppy appearance… and very noticably bruised face.

“Can I help you, sir,” the man asked, his tone clearly indicating that he felt the two of them didn’t even belong in the general vicinity of the hotel, much less in its lobby.

“Aw, drop the snotty upperclass act, Kel,” Reno grinned, “She’s not a date.”

Elena blinked as the man immediately assumed a friendly expression, grinning right back at the redhead as if he’d known Reno all his life.

“What the hell happened to your eye, man?” the man, Kel, replied, his whole demeaner changing.

“She happened,” Reno replied, shooting a half-hearted glare at his partner in crime.

“Yeah? Heh… knowing you, you probably deserved it,” Kel smirked. Reno paused a moment before replying.

“… Yeah, I kinda did. Kel, meet Elena… ‘Lena, this is Kel Volkman. Ya know, Kel… I swear, one of these days you’re gonna start talkin’ permanently like the pompous ass you pretend to be.”

“Ugh… don’t even joke about that,” Kel replied, rolling his eyes. The tone of voice and expression on the man’s face now so completely contradicted his professional attire that Elena had to try very hard not to burst out laughing, “So you’re the rookie, huh?”

“Er… Y-yeah,” Elena replied, confused as to how the man knew that, “How did you…”

“Kel’s an old friend of mine… We hang out now and then,” Reno explained, as Kel led them into the office behind the concierge’s desk, “Known him since I was… what? ‘Bout ten or eleven?”

“Somethin’ like that, yeah,” Kel confirmed, “We go way back.”

“So… You two grew up together?” Elena asked.

“Nah…” said Reno, “We were in a gang together. Well… we called it a gang, anyway. Mostly dumb kids with nothin’ better to do, though. And then Tseng came along and recruited me…”

“And I stuck around in the slums for awhile, until I decided to find something better…” Kel interjected.

“And we met up again ’bout six years ago,” Reno finished, “Kel pretty much runs this place. Let’s me… ah… drop by… on occasion. When I really wanna impress a date.”

“Like you’ve ever had trouble impressing a date?” Kel smirked.

“Uhhh… Ok, Reno. I give up. What are we doing here?” Elena finally asked.

“Oh yeah… Guess I better fill you both in on the rest of the plan,” said Reno.

———-

Tseng glanced at the clock. It was nearing 7:00, and he hadn’t heard a word from Reno and Elena. They should have checked in by now. It was regulation on any mission that didn’t require a communications blackout. And now, just moments ago he’d tried first Reno’s PHS, and then Elena’s, but there had been no answer.

It was time, he knew, to start looking for them. He hit the speed dial button for Rude’s PHS…

———-

Reno glanced at the glowing screen on his phone. The log showed one missed call. The number belonged to Tseng.

“Looks like we’ve finally been missed,” he commented with a wry grin.

“How long until they find us, do you think?”

“Least another hour… I made sure our trail was obvious, but not blatently obvious.”

He and Elena were lounging quite happily in one of the hotel’s larger suites, after spending the last few hours in preparation for Tseng’s arrival. The first thing they’d have to do was neutralize Rude… as Reno had no doubt in his mind that Tseng would arrive with backup. For that purpose, he’d recruited Kel to keep an eye on the security monitors. Knowing Tseng, he would likely send Rude up along an alternate route to ensure that any major escape routes were covered. Trapping him in an elevator would be ideal… but barring that, there were other means in place of keeping him from reaching the suite.

A knock at the door interupted Reno’s thought, and he hurried to answer it.

“All set in here?” asked Kel, as he wheeled in a large cart laden with covered dishes.

“All set,” Reno confirmed, “Just give us a call when they get here, yeah?”

Kel nodded, flashed Reno a grin, and headed back to his post at the front desk.

———-

“Mr. Volkman? I believe you spoke to my associate earlier…”

“Ah yes,” Kel replied, turning his attention on the two men who had just entered, recognizing the taller of the two instantly.

“And they’re here?”

“Yes, sir… as I told him,” he motioned to Rude, “… they arrived several hours ago. I sent them to this room,” Kel confirmed, handing over the electronic card key for the suite currently occupied by the two scheming Turks.

“Thank you… you’ve been most helpful.”

With that Tseng and Rude separated, and the Turk-leader mounting the stairs, as Rude stepped calmly into the elevator.

———-

The phone in the suite rang… Reno had been waiting impatiently for the call, and leapt on it, seizing the receiver.

“Kel?” he queried, then paused, listening to the response, “Sweet… thanks, man.”

He hung up the phone and turned to Elena.

“They’re on their way up. Kel’s gonna hold Rude in the elevator… Tseng’s all ours.”

“I’m ready,” Elena replied.

Reno, whose uniform had been shed in exchange for more intimidating attire… an all black ensemble, from head to toe… reached for the two items that would complete his costume. A ski-mask… and a small cylinder with a slender metal pin protruding from the top that fit neatly in the palm of his hand. Without another word, he slipped into the hallway.

———-

Tseng reached his destination quickly, pausing outside the heavy wooden doors that lead from the staircase landing to the floor’s main hallway. His weapon drawn, he soundlessly eased the door open. He wasn’t entirely sure what to expect, but whatever it was, he knew it was coming soon. He moved carefully down the hall towards the suite.

He didn’t have long to wait. Something metallic clattered loudly against the tiled floor behind him, and a hiss filled the silent air. He whirled around, the gas hitting him immediately, sending him reeling back, dazed. It was potent stuff, and Tseng felt his entire body growing heavy before he could act. Moments later, he slumped to the floor, out cold.

When the air cleared a few minutes later, Reno slipped out of his hiding place, and dragged the unconscious man into the suite. It had all been so easy.

‘Almost too easy,’ Reno mused, absently.

———-

Tseng fought the drowsiness that threatened to send him back to dreamland, forcing his eyelids open, and surveying his current situation. He was seated at a table laden with mouthwatering dishes, dual candles burning brightly on either side of a floral centerpiece. Weapon… on another table, far out of reach. Wrists… securely fastened to the arms of a sturdy wooden chair with even sturdier steel handcuffs. Ankles… duct taped to the legs of the aforementioned chair. Elena… bound and gagged on the bed several feet away from him. Damn.

The room was dimly lit, the lights turned down low, though whether that was merely for ambiance or to conceal the whereabouts of their captor, Tseng wasn’t certain. What he was certain of, though, was that Reno was nowhere to be seen… a fact that left him feeling a bit uneasy and vulnerable. Rude, too, was absent.

“Elena? Are you alright?” he asked. The rookie Turk nodded her head, wide-eyed.

“I haven’t hurt her… yet,” a rough, somewhat unnatural voice growled from behind him. There was something vaguely familiar about it, though it was a passing memory that Tseng couldn’t quite place.

A figure slunk out of the shadows, plucking Tseng’s gun from the table, and strolling over to the captive Turk. Holding her at gunpoint, he dragged her to her feet, propelling her into the chair opposite Tseng.

“Now… we’re going to have a little fun,” he said.

“Indeed, we are… Reno,” Tseng responded a ghost of a smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. The other man froze, clearly not expecting that response. In the dim light, Tseng saw the unmistakable “Oh shit,” expression in the Turk’s eyes. It was right about that time that Rude made his appearance by means of the French doors that separated the suite from the balcony.

In a matter of seconds, Reno was disarmed and pinned face-down on the floor, his arms behind his back, held firmly in place by his fellow Turk. A pair of handcuffs were snapped onto his wrists moments later, and the ski-mask whipped off his head.

“Aw, come on! You’ve gotta be kidding!” Reno whined, “How the fuck could you possibly…”

“Reno… A word of advice. Never try to pull one over on me,” Tseng replied, cutting him off, “Rude, if you would be so kind…”

He nodded toward his own handcuffs that held him to the chair. Rude left Reno where he was and released the Turk leader, and then Elena.

“I had it planned out perfectly, dammit!” Reno insisted, “How? How the fucking hell did you know?”

Tseng picked up the glass of wine that sat at his place-setting and took a sip. It really was quite good.

“You’re good, Reno. But I’m better,” he replied half-teasingly, goading the younger Turk’s temper, “The ‘target’ you were to be sent after? That was your first mistake. For future reference… I personally confirm the identity of every target sent to the Turks. Even when it is supposedly sent to me by the President himself.”

Reno groaned, and Tseng couldn’t surpress a quiet chuckle.

“Your second mistake,” he continued, “Was not noticing you were being followed. Really Reno… I’m surprised at you. I would expect such a rookie mistake from Elena, who is, in fact, a rookie. But you? Very careless, Reno. Not to your usual standards at all.”

“Rude…” Reno moaned, knowing full well who must have been tailing him, “How could you?”

Rude shrugged. Though in Reno’s defense, Tseng couldn’t hold him entirely responsible for not catching Rude in the act. Rude was just as skilled and seasoned as Reno in such matters.

“You also relied far too much on the loyalty of your friend downstairs,” Tseng added.

“Not Kel, too?” Reno lamented.

“I’m afraid so… It seems he shares your fondness for practical jokes, and was only too happy to help us turn the tables on you.”

Reno just responded by banging his head repeatedly against the floor. All his planning… All of the set-up… All for nothing.

“Your final mistake was assuming that I had let down my guard,” said Tseng, looking quite uncharacteristically smug, “I know you far too well, Reno, to believe that you would let a matter of personal revenge simply drop.”

“S-sir… W-what are you going to do with us?” Elena asked nervously.

“Hmm… That is the question, isn’t it?” he said, not wanting to let them off the hook just yet, “What do you think I should do with you?”

“Let us go with a slap on the wrist and forget this whole thing ever happened?” Reno suggested.

“Keep dreaming, Reno,” Tseng dead-panned.

“Damn.”

“No… I think I’ll use the situation to my advantage,” said Tseng, “Rude, take Reno back to headquarters. Since he wants to play kidnapper, and since he’s been caught, I think a night in one of the detention cells would be quite appropriate.”

“WHAT?!” Reno shrieked, as Rude began to drag him bodily out of the room, “Ah, son of a… Tseng, did anyone ever tell you that you’re a vindictive bastard?!”

The Wutaian Turk simply smiled. The redhead’s protests gradually faded as he was ‘escorted’ out of the room and down the hallway. Tseng then turned his attention on Elena, who swallowed nervously.

“Would I be correct in assuming that this was, primarily, Reno’s idea?” he asked.

“Y-yes sir.”

“And you went along with it because…”

“I… I… Well, I… just… wanted…” she stammered. Tseng just looked at her with his usual patience, waiting her her explanation, “It… was because of the camping trip, sir.”

“Oh?”

“I… sort of got to know Reno a little better while I was stuck out there alone with him. I guess we just… just…”

“Went from simply being allies to being friends, as well?” Tseng offered.

“Y-yes sir.”

Tseng reguarded her for a moment, letting her squirm a bit in her nervousness. Finally he relented.

“Good. It’s about time.”

“Sir?”

“Elena, as Turks we have to be willing to trust one another implicitly. That sort of trust is not simply given… it has to be earned. And to earn that kind of trust, you have to get to know a person. I’m well aware that Reno isn’t the easiest person to get close to. That you’ve managed to make some progress in that reguard is a sign that you’re learning what it really means to be a Turk,” he said, smiling warmly now.

Elena was so flustered by the comment that she couldn’t say anything in reply.

“Of course… you did team up with Reno in this endevor. I’m afraid I can’t let that go without some sort of reprimand,” Tseng added, and Elena inwardly groaned. She should have known he wasn’t going to let her get away with it just because it had been Reno’s idea. That was part of being a Turk, too… taking resposibility when you screwed up.

“Y-yes sir,” she replied.

“Therefore, you will join me for dinner.”

Elena blinked in surprise. That was it?

“Oh, no… don’t think you’re getting off that easy,” Tseng smirked, as if he’d read her mind, “I simply think it would be a shame to waste all the trouble Reno went to setting this up. And it is Valentine’s Day, after all. Beginning tomorrow, however, you will be joining Reno on a week long guard detail. For Hojo. It should be a very… memorable… experience.”

Elena shuddered involuntarily. Hojo, though she’d only met him briefly in passing, was not one of her favorite people. Besides that, she’d heard stories.

“Yes, sir,” she said, resigning herself to her fate.

“But don’t let that spoil the evening,” Tseng added.

“Yes, sir,” she replied, perking up a bit. It wasn’t all bad. Reno had promised her a candlelit dinner with Tseng on Valentine’s Day, after all, and that was exactly what she’d gotten. And if it came at the price of having to spend a week in the company of the company’s creepiest scientist… well… it was worth it. She decided to put tomorrow’s punishment out of her mind, and enjoy herself while she could. She picked up a fork, and mused over which of the dishes before her to try first.

“Elena?”

“Sir?”

“Happy Valentine’s Day.”

-fin-