Taking Care of Reno
Chapter 3: Rude Awakenings
“She’s going to pay for this,” Reno hissed, stalking into the office.
“What…” Tseng began, slowly looking up from the email he’d been reading, “… now? Oh, I see…” He fought back the smile that tugged at the corners of his mouth.
“How could she do something like this to me?” Reno continued, pacing the room.
“I would guess that it has something to do with the cayenne pepper incident on Monday,” Tseng replied calmly.
“She’s gone too far…” Reno growled, “She really has…”
“Calm down Reno. I’m sure it will wash out.”
“My hair is blue, Tseng… BLUE! Fucking toilet-bowl blue!” Reno nearly screamed, his voice rising a full octave, “Do you have any idea what it’s like being forced to walk around this building with blue hair? I’m sure those bastards down in the lobby are still laughing their asses off right now!”
Tseng sighed. This was getting ridiculous… though he had to admit, it had been amusing to watch, and as Reno and Elena had kept their little feud confined to off-duty hours and times during the day when their pranks wouldn’t interfere with business as usual, he had little room for complaint. Reno flicked a lock of azure hair out of his face.
“The question is, what am I going to do to get her back for this?” Reno added, more to himself than to Tseng.
“I don’t suppose you could possibly take the mature route for once, and just let it go?”
Reno flashed him a mischievious grin. “You know me better than that, boss…”
“I thought as much,” Tseng replied. This had been going on for two weeks now… After Elena had given Tseng and Rude some rather unflattering pictures of Reno, – pictures of Reno dressed in a maid’s uniform, looking like a chocobo caught in the headlights of an oncoming truck – Reno had returned the favor by having Elena’s car airlifted to the roof of the Shinra building. Elena had then retaliated by faxing said pictures to every employee in the building… For which Reno had retaliated by breaking into her apartment and doing a little creative tailoring work on her uniforms. And so it had gone on, back and forth, day after day, neither one of them willing to call a truce.
“Good morning, sir… Good morning Reno… I love what you’ve done with your hair…” a cheery voice called from the open doorway. Elena giggled softly at the sight of Reno’s hair… It had been so easy. Reno cast her a glare that could have warped steal.
“Good morning Elena,” Tseng said, stopping Reno before he had a chance to reply… or go for his gun. “Now that you’re both here, I have an assignment for you. President Shinra will be traveling to Junon today to welcome the new recruits to SOLDIER. The two of you are going to accompany him as bodyguards.”
“Yes sir,” Elena said, proud that Tseng had judged her worthy of such an important assignment. Reno, on the other hand, paled.
“Tseng… You can’t seriously expect me to go out looking like this!” he gasped, mortified, gesturing to his shockingly bright blue hair. Elena snickered loudly. Reno inwardly cringed at the thought of being forced to face the crowd of new recruits looking like this while the president delivered one of his long-winded speeches.
“I expect you to follow orders… And I expect both of you to behave professionally. If I hear otherwise…”
“You won’t, sir,” Elena quickly stated. Tseng looked pointedly at Reno.
“Yeah, I got it…” Reno grumbled, “Ceasefire until this job is over… Fine…”
“Then get going,” Tseng ordered. Elena nodded curtly and marched out the door.
“You sure you can’t have Rude do this instead of me?” Reno asked once Elena was out of earshot.
“Rude has his own… assignment,” Tseng replied, the barest hint of a smile turning up the corners of his mouth. Reno, however, didn’t seem to notice, and mumbling a less than pleased “Yes, sir…”, headed off after Elena. Once he was gone, Tseng allowed the smile to spread across his face, reading once again the email Rude had sent him earlier that morning.
———-
Rude was easy to pick out among the scattered people who littered the bar that afternoon. Tseng walked in and sat down next to him. The bald Turk was, not surprisingly, nursing a beer.
“Now just what did you have in mind?” Tseng asked, waving away the waitress that had approached. Rude smirked and tossed Tseng a key. Printed on the keychain were the words “Sordid Rose Inn, Room 212”.
“On second thought, I’m not sure I still want to know…” Tseng chuckled.
———-
‘This is never going to end,’ Reno thought to himself as he watched the gathered crowd from his position on the platform, just behind and to the right of President Shinra. Elena stood to his left, keeping an eye on her half of the crowd. The speech had already lasted nearly forty minutes, as near as Reno could tell… Even the recruits, who had seemed so eager and attentive at first, when the president had stepped up to the podium, were begining to look bored. Some of them shifted restlessly from one foot to the other, undoubtably tired of standing at this point… And still the man droned on and on about power and company loyalty and how Shinra and mako energy were the future of the Planet…
‘Blah, blah, blah… Hurry up already,’ Reno mentally commanded.
What was worse, though, was that Reno seemed to be drawing at least some of the attention that should have been focused on the president. As the speech wore on… and on, and on, and on… more and more of those in attendence seemed to shift their gaze slightly from the speaker to the blue-haired Turk behind him. A number of them turned away when Reno scowled at them, but he still had the unnerving feeling of being under the microscope, so to speak. He anxiously awaited the end of this day.
———-
“Just how are you planning to…” Tseng began, stopping in mid-sentance as Rude reached into his jacket and produced a small vial bearing the label of Shinra Labs.
“They’ll be out for hours,” Rude replied, simply. Tseng thought for a moment about the implications of drugging his own men, but decided that this was for their own good. He took a sip of the tea he’d been surprised to find on this establishment’s menu and nodded his approval.
———-
“Thank god… I didn’t think that would ever end,” Elena muttered under her breath as President Shinra disappeared into the executive helicopter.
“Tell me about it…” Reno replied bitterly, remembering the multitude of stares his hair had recieved. The tone in Reno’s voice almost made Elena feel sorry for him… almost. They boarded the helicopter and passed the trip back to Midgar without speaking to each other.
———-
“Come on Rude… After the day I’ve had, I need a drink or twenty,” Reno said, all but dragging his stoic friend out of the office. The remainder of the day had been fairly uneventful. Still, Reno was more than ready to get away from the muffled laughter that seemed to follow him wherever he went… or at least get drunk enough that he just didn’t notice it anymore. He mentally renewed his vow of revenge against Elena. Rude glanced over at Tseng.
“Coming?” he asked. Reno paused in his efforts to get Rude out the door, casting him a questioning look as to why he assumed that Tseng would want to join them. Even more surprising was that Tseng stood and nodded, joining the other two men at the door.
“Whatever… Let’s just go,” Reno said with a shrug. He turned back toward the door.
“Care to join us, Elena?” Tseng asked in an offhanded manner before Reno could take another step. Reno visibly cringed at his words.
“Y-yes sir!” she stammered out, caught off-guard by the unexpected invitation. She happily joined the group, Reno’s obvious aversion to her coming an added bonus to spending time outside of work with Tseng.
———-
Reno sat happily at the bar with Rude. His complaints about his day, his hair, Elena – which had been unending during the drive over – had finally ceased. Tseng, for one, was grateful for the relative peace in the bar. He and Elena were seated at a small table set off to one side. The conversation had been little more than small-talk, as Tseng patiently waited for the opportunity to put Rude’s plan into effect.
“Sir, may I ask you something?” Elena said, looking up from her drink.
“Of course,” Tseng replied.
“Has Reno… er… mentioned anything he might be planning to do to me? Because of the blue hair, I mean…”
“Worried, Elena?” Tseng asked, smiling understandingly.
“Well… a little, sir. I think he was a lot more embarassed than I’d originally intended him to be… Especially after the president himself made a comment on the trip back…”
“I think Reno’s ego will survive this little blow,” he replied, “But to answer your question, no. He hasn’t mentioned any elaborate schemes of revenge to me today. You’ll just have to wait and see.”
“Yes sir,” said Elena, twisting her napkin in her hands. Tseng placed a hand over one ot Elena’s tightly clenched fists.
“I’m sure it won’t be anything you can’t handle,” he said reassuringly. Elena smiled, and Tseng marvelled at just how easily a simple compliment or kind gesture could brighten her mood.
Elena finshed her drink, and Tseng ordered her a second. He watched Rude and Reno out of the corner of his eye, and eventually caught sight of Rude’s hand moving oh-so-subtly to drop something into Reno’s glass. When Elena suddenly turned to glance suspiciously at Reno, Tseng took the opportunity to pour a small amount of white powder into her drink, watching it quickly dissolve and disappear.
———-
“I don’t know what I’m going to do to her…” Reno said, as he finished off the last few drops in his glass,”… but it’s not… gonna be… pretty…”
As he uttered the last syllable, he fell forward, his head hitting the counter in front of him with a loud thud. Rude smirked and looked over at Tseng and Elena, watching as Elena slumped over in her chair, Tseng moving quickly to catch her before she could hit the floor. Rude slung Reno over one shoulder, carrying him effortlessly toward Tseng, who by now had lifted Elena into his arms. They ignored the odd looks they recieved from some of the bar’s other patrons and headed for the car.
———-
The hotel room was small and in desperate need of a coat of paint… preferably of a color that didn’t turn a person’s stomach to look at it, as the hideous brownish-yellow that covered the walls did now. The furniture was limited to a chair that didn’t look like it could support even the slightest weight for any amout of time, a similarly constructed nighttable, and comparatively large bed. A narrow window was the only decoration on the walls.
“I hesitate to ask how you know about this place…” Tseng commented. The hotel itself had been well-hidden, it’s entrance unmarked in a back-alley, as if isolated from all of the respectable businesses on the Plate. Rude just shrugged and dropped Reno onto the bed. Tseng set Elena down a bit more gently.
———-
Several hours later, Elena yawned and stared at the backs of her eyelids, not wanting to open them and face the sunlight that was encroaching on her sleep. She rolled over, away from the source of the light, and found herself pressed against something soft and warm… and moving… Her eyes snapped open. She looked around the umfamiliar surroundings for only a moment before her eyes settled on the large, blanket-covered lump on the other side of the bed… the large, blanket covered lump that was snoring softly. She sat up in bed, hugging her own half of the blanket against bare skin. With a feeling of dread, she realized that she couldn’t remember anything after going to the bar last night with Tseng…
‘Tseng?’ she thought, hesitantly reaching to pull back the blanket.
———-
A blood-curdling scream jarred Reno from his sleep, and he sat up, looking around frantically as he tried to figure out where the hell he was. His eyes at last locked onto a blond-haired figure clutching a blanket to her chest, the look on her face a mixture of horror, revulsion, and utter shock. He blinked, still dazed from being so rudely awakened, and the face took on a familiar look… Reno’s eyes widened as realization set in, and he let out a scream to echo Elena’s…
———-
Across the hall from room 212, the twin screams could be heard plainly through the walls.
“Sounds like they’re awake,” Rude said, reclining back in a chair, his feet propped up on the nighttable. Tseng turned away from the window he’d been standing at.
“So it would seem,” he replied with a soft chuckle. The two men had been waiting all morning to hear the reaction to the previous night’s set-up. “Maybe now those two will call off this foolish little war of theirs…”
“How long do we let ’em suffer?” asked Rude.
“I haven’t decided yet,” Tseng replied, with an uncharacteristically sadistic grin.
-fin-
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