Taking Care of Reno
Chapter 2: Elena’s Revenge
“Here,” said Elena, thrusting a toothbrush into Reno’s hand, “And once you’ve finished the kitchen floor, you can dust the shelves, wash the windows, take out the trash, and… um… well, I’m sure I’ll find something for you to do once you’re done with all that…” She smiled and walked back into her bedroom, leaving Reno standing there, scowling.
‘Maybe I should have just told Tseng to let her kill me,’ he mused. Elena’s apartment was spotless, from his point of view… She was doing this just to irritate him. With a growl of indignation, he stormed into the kitchen where he found a bucket of soapy water waiting for him. ‘Damn… I bet she’s got this all planned out, too,’ he thought, wondering if he would survive his “punishment”. It was his own fault he was in this mess… he’d gotten over confident – complacent, even. And he certainly hadn’t expected Tseng to show up to check on him. If he’d just been paying a little more attention, he might have gotten away with it…
He sighed and dropped to his knees, toothbrush in hand, and began the seemingly endless task of scrubbing each and every tile on the kitchen floor… No sense dwelling on what he should have done… Might as well just get it over with.
———-
Elena smiled to herself as she rifled through the shopping bag in her closet. Tseng had been nice enough to give her the entire day off to compensate her for Reno’s little trick the day before. And he’d actually ordered Reno to do whatever she told him to. Elena’s smile broadened at the thought of Tseng doing that just for her.
She’d been exhausted the night before, and slightly feverish, but like Reno she’d slept it off in a matter of hours. Now she was ready to see Reno suffer. She never been an overly vindictive person, prefering to follow orders, get the job done, and move on… but Reno had crossed the line. She shuddered at the thought of actually having cleaned his apartment… and shuddered again at the thought of some of the things she’d found while cleaning the apartment… and all because he’d had her convinced that he was too sick to lift a finger. That alone was enough to make her want to get back at him. He’d made her look like a naive little trainee… and in front of Tseng no less!
‘Well he’s going to pay for that,’ she thought as she removed a certain garment from the shopping bag… one that she’d gotten up early that morning to pick up specifically for Reno.
———-
‘Scrub, scrub, scrub… God, this is going to take all fucking day,’ Reno seethed, mashing the bristles of the toothbrush hard into the tile in irritation. ‘I gotta admit, though… I never thought Elena would be so vindictive…’
“Oh Reno!” a voice tauntingly sang out, “I’ve got something for you…” Reno hesitatingly looked up and flinched.
“No. No way in Hell,” he hissed. He folded his arms stubbornly across his chest.
———-
“I hate you,” said Reno, tugging the poofy, high-cut black skirt of the maid’s uniform down in a pathetic attempt to make it less revealing, “I really, really hate you.”
Elena just smiled and straightened Reno’s frilly white apron.
“I think you look cute,” she replied, looking him over. Smothering a laugh, she handed him a pair of three-inch heels to go with the dress. Reno scowled and snatched them from her hands, making a point of of not even attempting to hide how he felt about this new humiliation as he put the shoes on.
“Tee hee… Back to work Miss Reno.”
Reno turned, muttering curses under his breath, staggering back into the kitchen as he tried to maintain his balance in the shoes. ‘How do women walk in these things?’ he asked himself as he wobbled and nearly fell. He tried unsuccessfully to tune out Elena’s musical laughter and went back to his assigned task. The worst part was that Tseng had actually given her permission to do this to him… and instructed her to give him a full report tomorrow! And then there was Rude… he’d never let him live this down.
———-
At last he was finished with the floor. He knees ached terribly from having been crawling around the kitchen for the last three hours. Reno stood and walked out of the kitchen, using the wall as a support as the high heels he wore threatened to send him sprawling to the floor. He found Elena curled up in a chair, reading a book.
“I’m done. Can I take this off now?” he asked gesturing to the outfit he wore.
“Nope,” she replied, not looking up from her book, but instead holding up a feather duster. Reno took it, and Elena heard yet another string of muttered profanities as he stormed – or came as close to storming as he could in heels – over to the bookcase in the living room and began dusting. He hadn’t been at it more than ten minutes before a loud knock at the door pulled him from his thoughts of escape.
“Answer that, would you Reno,” Elena called out from the chair.
“What?! NO!”
“You have to do what I say, remember? Now answer it.”
“Fine,” he hissed through clenched teeth, “Maybe I’ll get lucky and it’ll be the friendly neighborhood serial killer.”
He walked toward the door wondering if it was a good thing or a bad thing that he was starting to get the hang of walking in heels. He twisted the knob and opened the door to reveal…
“Tseng!” he yelped in surprise, attempting to dart behind the door before his leader could get a good look at what he was wearing. Unfortunatly, he wasn’t quite as used to the shoes as he’d thought, and feeling his ankle twist rather painfully, he suddenly found himself falling face first onto the carpet. Tseng stepped into the apartment, carefully avoiding Reno’s prone form.
“I see you’re not having any trouble with him,” he said as Elena set her book aside and came over.
“No sir… No trouble at all,” she replied.
“Oh don’t worry about me… I’m just fine, everyone… Really…” Reno said from his position on the floor, his voice muffled by the carpet. Elena bit her lower lip so as not to begin a fit of laughter she couldn’t stop. Reno remained motionless on the floor, deciding he was more comfortable now than he’d been since this day started.
“Hmm… Well, I just stopped by to make sure one of you hadn’t killed the other…” said Tseng, ignoring Reno’s sarcasm with a slight smile, “But it seems you have things well in hand, Elena.”
“T-thank you sir,” she replied, somewhat flustered by the compliment. Tseng reached down and helped Reno to his feet. Reno glared at Elena for a moment before limping back into the living room to resume his dusting rather that stand around being ridiculed. His ankle throbbed with every step, and the wobbly heels didn’t help, but he ignored it.
“Try not to hurt him too badly, Elena… I want you both back on duty once Reno’s learned his lession,” said Tseng.
“Yes sir,” Elena replied, nodding. Tseng sighed.
“Rude is going to regret not coming with me when I tell him what you’ve got Reno wearing…” he added, with one final glance in Reno’s direction before nodding a farewell to Elena and walking out the door. Elena closed the door behind him and grinned to herself, pleased that Tseng had approved of how she was handling things.
She turned back toward Reno, snickering as she watched his display of alternating between limping and dusting as he moved around the room. Reno caught her watching out of the corner of his eye and gave an exagerated whimper as he rested his weight on the injured ankle.
“Oh fine… You can take off the shoes… before you break your neck,” said Elena.
‘Thank god,’ Reno thought as he gladly kicked the shoes off his feet and under the couch, wincing as the blood flow he hadn’t even realized had been cut off returned to his toes. ‘I need a drink,’ he thought to himself, wondering if Elena had any beer in the fridge.
“Wow… I hadn’t even realized it was after noon,” Elena said suddenly, interupting Reno’s thoughts once again, “Go make us some lunch.”
“Yes, your majesty,” Reno grumbled, heading for the kitchen.
———-
“Figures,” he sighed, noting the distinct lack of alcoholic beverages in Elena’s kitchen. In fact, the majority of what was in the refrigerator looked disgustingly healthy. At last he found something that seemed vaguely edible… Egg salad… It was either that, or starve. The woman didn’t even have a nice piece of week old pizza. He slapped together two sandwiches, gathered a few other items from the pantry, and carried it all over to the table.
“Smile Reno!”
He looked up just in time to be momentarily blinded by a bright flash of light.
“What the… ?” Another flash. “No!” He could hear Elena giggling like a child as he rubbed his eyes, trying to get rid of the spots that now dotted his vision.
“That’s it! I’ve put up with your little orders all day… I cleaned, I made you lunch… I even wore this stupid dress… But this ends now, dammit!” Reno yelled, eyeing the camera in Elena’s hand. He lunged for it, dreading what she might do with those pictures if he didn’t destroy them. Elena let out a surprised yelp and dove out of the way just before Reno could tackle her, his own momentum sending him to the floor, facedown. Before he could recover, she bolted for the kitchen door, timing her steps to plant a foot firmly between Reno’s shoulders and slamming him into the floor again. Elena disappeared into her bedroom, locking the door.
“Elena!” Reno’s voice sounded muffled through the door. “Give me that camera!”
———-
‘Oh, now what do I do?’ Elena thought. The lock wouldn’t keep Reno out for long. Sure enough, a few moments later, she heard the first soft clicks of Reno’s attempt to pick the lock. Having no other way out of the room, she would have no choice but the give him what he wanted. She hadn’t planned on something like this. Elena didn’t have much time, so she did the only thing she could think of. Opening the camera, she removed the film and shoved it safely into a drawer. Digging through the drawer, she quickly located a second roll of film and put it into the camera, feeling very pleased with her ingenuity. Just then, that lock clicked loudly, and Reno threw open the door.
“Hand it over Elena,” he growled, and Elena thought that he probably would have looked very intimidating were it not for the dress with the frilly little skirt and cute, lacey apron he was currently wearing. She cautiously held the camera out to him. Reno grabbed it from her, turned on his heel, and stormed out of the bedroom, and then out of the apartment altogether. Just when she thought he’d left, laughter rang out from the hallway of Elena’s apartment building, and a moment later, Reno stormed back into her apartment, slamming the door behind him.
“Alright… Now hand over my clothes…” he said in measured tones. Elena could still hear someone laughing outside in the hall.
———-
Tseng arrived at the office the next morning to find Reno sulking in a chair in the corner. He tapped his watch, amazed to find that it was indeed still working.
“Reno… You’re… on time,” he stated with some surprise, “Early, in fact…”
“I wanted to get here before Elena…” said Reno, yawning, “Just in case she decides that what she put me through yesterday wasn’t enough.”
“Don’t you think you’re being a bit paranoid, Reno?”
Before Reno could answer, the door opened and in walked Rude. On seeing Reno at work so early, he paused for a moment, looked down at his watch, and then back up at Reno. Reno was almost certain he saw an eyebrow rise in curiosity behind the dark lenses of the man’s sunglasses. Finally, Rude shrugged and sat down at his desk, still eyeing Reno oddly.
The last to arrive was Elena, a cheerful smile on her face and two colorfully wrapped boxes under her arm.
“Good morning Rude… I have a present for you,” she said strolling over to her fellow-Turk and handing him one of the boxes. “And one for you too, sir…” she continued, holding the second out to Tseng, who took it with a small smile. “Open them.”
“Hey… What about me?” Reno pouted.
“You’ll get what’s coming to you, Reno…” Elena replied. Tseng raised an eyebrow quizzically and began removing the wrapping paper. Rude did the same. The two men opened the boxes, Tseng chuckling softly, and even Rude letting out a quiet laugh.
“What? What is it?” asked Reno. Rude answered him by standing and reaching up to remove a framed Shinra emblem from the wall and replacing it with the framed photograph from the box Elena had given him. Reno groaned, as he saw an enlarged picture of himself… The same picture he thought he’d retrieved from Elena when he’d taken her camera.
“I think it really adds something to the room, don’t you Reno?” Elena said, smiling sweetly.
‘Why me?’ Reno said to himself, catching sight of the amused expressions on Tseng’s and Rude’s faces.
-fin-
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