Desha's Reno of the Turks Fan Fiction

Chapter 48: Family

Tseng had survived many things in his lifetime. Leaving home at eighteen for a new country he’d never set foot in with almost nothing but the clothes on his back and what little he could carry in a small duffle bag. Multiple gunshot wounds that had not only nearly killed him outright, but that had put him out of commissions for months after the surgeons had stabilized him. The senseless loss of close friends at the hands of a traitor. The death of his sister that had left him questioning every decision he’d ever made to bring him to that point.

He wasn’t quite certain where sitting across from his estranged parents while they dutifully pretended they didn’t recognize him as they chatted calmly with the other guests placed on that list… but he suspected it was rather high. The only thing he was certain of was that he desperately wanted this dinner to end.

A part of him wished his father would glower angrily at him. Stare at him with the same fury Tseng had seen in his eyes the day he disowned him. Show him the cold indifference of hatred. Physically attack him. Anything. Literally anything would have been better than the unconcerned glances that occasionally came his way, as though he were a stranger the man had never seen in his life, rather than the son he’d raised from birth.

He’d known this meeting would happen eventually. Perhaps not on this trip, but at some point when his work brought him back to Wutai. The possibility of crossing paths with one of his relatives was a strong one. It was a fairly large family, after all. Between his parents, five living siblings, their spouses and children, a plethora of cousins on his mother’s side and their families… it was just a matter of time, really, before he ran into someone he was related to in some way and either had to endure their shunning, or explain what had happened, depending on the distance of the relationship.

He’d known it wouldn’t be pleasant, no matter what member or members of his former family he came across… but he hadn’t expected it to be this painful.

When he’d first caught sight of them, it was as if he’d been struck solidly in the chest. The reaction simply to seeing them from a distance had been so visceral that, for a moment, he could hardly even breathe. And then… he’d seen his brother. He’d learned, thanks to Koto, his youngest remaining sibling, that Hisao and Jian had both joined Wutai’s forces on the battlefield of their own accord rather than wait to be conscripted. Koto, thankfully, would have been judged ill-suited to fight even if he had wanted to, owing to an injury that had left him with a pronounced limp as a child… and Shui and Yun both lived out of the country… but no one had told him that Hisao –

Not his mother… not even Koto… had written to him to say that Hisao had been so grievously injured in the war. And he wondered if anyone would have bothered telling him if he’d lost his life, rather than merely an arm.

It really was all he could do to maintain the appearance, at least, of a professional Turk. He ate, but barely even tasted the food. He spoke, but half the time he was only peripherally aware of what he was saying. After awhile, it almost began to feel as though he were watching himself interact with the other dinner guests from some point outside of his body, and the thought and implications of that dissociation deeply concerned him… but there didn’t seem to be anything he could do about it. He was a mere observer in his own skin.

When the introductions had been made prior to them all taking their seats, Rufus had looked over at him with a somewhat worried frown… but otherwise had given no other indication he realized there was a problem. He didn’t have to. Tseng knew him well enough to understand that it hadn’t escaped his notice. But like himself, Rufus was trapped within in the bonds of decorum. There was nothing he could do to prevent the inevitable.

And so they had sat down to dinner.

He was all but certain it was never going to end. The clamor of ceaseless conversation intermixed with the sounds of chewing that, to his mind, at least, seemed abnormally, almost painfully, loud. In fact, the longer it went on, it gradually became the only thing he was consciously aware of and it was slightly maddening. Every other part of him seemed to be on autopilot, like an automaton acting in his stead, pre-programmed with its artificial responses so he didn’t have to think. But the chewing was real, and it was endless.

Or so he thought. Eventually… it did end, and Tseng found himself being led out of the room while attention and conversation was focused was on other, more trivial matters. He didn’t even realize that it was Reno prodding him out of the room until the cool breeze blowing in from the coast and his protege’s increasingly worried words finally snapped him back to reality.

“Boss?”

Tseng shook his head, and finally, for what felt like the first time in hours, took a breath.

“You okay?” the redhead inquired.

“Yes…” the Turk lieutenant replied, closing his eyes for a moment and forcing himself to be calm.

“… ‘Cause ya don’t really look okay…” Reno added, hesitantly. Tseng raised his hands to his face and massaged tired eyes.

“That was… unpleasant,” he finally acknowledged, and turned gratefully to the younger man. “I’ll be fine.”

“So… those were your parents, huh?”

“They used to be…” Tseng sighed, wistfully gazing out at the mountains in the distance, and realized for the first time that they were outside on the balcony. Well… that certainly explained the breeze. “Thank you, Reno. I think, if I’d been forced to sit there much longer, I would have started to go a bit mad…”

“… He… he’s really serious, isn’t he? ‘Bout… ya know…”

The Turk lieutenant smiled sadly. “Yes… my father is quite thoroughly invested in insisting that I do not exist. Even to himself.”

“… I’m sorry.”

When he looked, he could see the sympathy in the redhead’s eyes, and Tseng realized that his parents’ unexpected presence had come as almost as great a shock to Renoas it had to him… albeit for much different reasons. For his protege, the thought of willingly giving up a member of his family was so outrageous… so unspeakable… that he likely could hardly have truly fathomed it before seeing it firsthand. It was something the young man himself was almost certainly incapable of. Reno was far too caring, and too innately gentle, to ever even consider enacting such an overtly cruel punishment against someone he loved.

Tseng rested a hand on the younger Turk’s shoulder, squeezing softly.

“I’m going to go and find Rufus. I suspect he’s been hoping to leave the party a bit early, and for once I’m not going to expend my energy convincing him to stay.”

Not being the most overly social of people, the vice president disliked this sort of event even at the best of times, and really only tolerated it for the sake of his position and at his father’s insistence. Knowing that Tseng was as desperate to leave as he was would almost certainly encourage him to bid the others a hasty good night. Normally, the Wutaiian Turk wouldn’t wish to take advantage, but under the circumstances, he was willing to be slightly selfish tonight.

“Ya don’t have to go back in there… I can go grab the brat,” Reno offered, but Tseng silently shook his head.

“No. I won’t give my father the satisfaction of knowing that I’ve skulked off into the night without facing him one last time.”

“You want me to come with you?”

“I… need to do this alone,” Tseng replied, though he hesitated. The temptation to accept the younger man’s support was strong, and he absolutely did not wish to be anywhere near his father alone right now. But he’d meant what he said. His father wanted him to suffer for his sins. It was likely at least half the reason he’d come tonight… to rub it in his face. He wasn’t going to let him. At least no more than he already had.

---

Reno sighed and watched as Tseng disappeared back inside. A part of him wanted to follow him anyway, no matter what his mentor said. But… if he really needed to do this by himself… he had to respect that.

He couldn’t understand how someone could just… forget… their kid like that. Was what Tseng had done really that utterly unforgivable? Sure… he’d probably never forgive himself… but… parents were supposed to love their kids unconditionally. Okay, so yeah, there were some shitty ones out there that treated their kids like crap… abused them… sold ’em off to feed a habit… whatever. But Tseng’s parents weren’t like that. Not if Mayu, and Tseng himself, were any kind of reflection of them.

He shook his head and turned his gaze back out to the mountains in the distance. He hated that Tseng had to keep suffering for something he was already going to regret for the rest of his life. He hated that his dad was too much of an unrelenting asshole to forgive him. He hated that no one else in Tseng’s family would stand up to the son of a bitch and tell him he was being an asshole.

And he hated that there wasn’t a damned thing he could do about any of it.

Reno still remembered exactly how broken Tseng had been when Mayu had died. And how long it had taken him to return to some semblance of normal after his return to Midgar. To this day, his mentor still didn’t talk about where he was or what he was doing for all the time he was gone. At least not to the redhead. Maybe Veld knew… but if so, the Turk leader was as tight-lipped about it as his mentor was.

Reno could only imagine how awful that time must have been for him. Alone. Abandoned by the people who’d raised him. Far from home and the ones who still cared.

He leaned unhappily against the balcony’s railing. The moon was bright and not quite full, and stars were everywhere. It was weird seeing so many stars all at once. You never saw them in Midgar… at least not like this.

“… Reno?” an unfamiliar voice somewhat hesitantly queried, interrupting his thoughts. He blinked in surprise, not having heard anyone approaching, and turned… and then blinked again.

“Uh… hi?” he managed, not at all having expected to suddenly be face to face with Tseng’s mom while he was standing alone on a balcony thinking about what a dick his mentor’s dad was.

She made her way over to him.

“You are so much more grown now than in the picture Tseng sent…” she said softly. He must have looked as confused as he felt, because she gave him a sad smile. “He used to write often. He told me a great deal about you. I… was so looking forward to finally meeting you. But, then… the war… Mayu…”

She cast her eyes down for a moment, and when she looked up again, tears shimmered in the moonlight.

“We should not have come. I insisted that Hiro seek an invitation. I knew that if the Shinra President was here, so, too, would Tseng be here,” she whispered. “I saw how it hurt him. But… I wanted to see him again. I wanted to see my son. So badly. It was selfish of me.”

Reno glared at the woman. He couldn’t help himself. Tseng was the one suffering, and this woman had the balls to come crying about it to him?

“If you wanna see him so badly, then why don’t you just tell your husband to knock this bullshit off?!”

“You don’t understand.”

“Damn right, I don’t… I really, really don’t understand how you can treat someone you supposedly care about like that,” he replied, folding his arms over his chest. Tseng’s mother shook her head, and placed a hand on his arm.

“My Hiro… he is a good man and a good father.”

Reno snorted in contempt. He had a hard time believing that. By all accounts, Hiro Itsudake had been a controlling, demanding, dictatorial jerk-off for most of Tseng’s life, culminating in outright disowning his son over a tragic mistake. Granted, he didn’t exactly have a whole lot of personal experience to draw upon when it came to fathers, but that certainly didn’t meet his definition of a good one.

“I know… from where you stand, his actions seem cruel and unjust. He is hurting, just as Tseng hurts. As we all hurt. Mayu was our only daughter. She was dearly loved by everyone, but to her father, she was his most precious gift. It was a profound loss for Hiro. That wound still has not healed, and he blames Tseng.”

“But… even if he can’t forgive him, why’s that mean no one can?” the redhead demanded. “Why can’t you?”

“I have. I could never hate my little Tseng. But… I must forsake him, to hold my family together. I cannot abandon them. He knows this.”

“Tch… so he just gets tossed out in the cold so you can look after everyone else?” Reno said, angrily. Where the hell was the fairness in that? It just wasn’t right. They’d turned their backs on him right when Tseng had needed them most.

“I have raised five sons and one daughter,” the woman, explained quietly, “And not one of them ever dared go against their father’s command until the day Tseng left home. He is, and has always been, the strongest of my children. He will survive whatever life may bring without me standing watch over him. It isn’t fair that he should have to endure such hardship… but he will survive it. He is perhaps the only one of them that ever could.”

“That doesn’t make it okay…” Reno said, stubbornly shaking his head.

“Of course it doesn’t…” she said, gently cupping his cheek with one hand. “And I wish things were different. You… you take good care of my Tseng for me. It is a small relief to know that he’s not alone.”

She turned to go, but before she disappeared through the doors, she turned back to face him.

“I… am deeply ashamed to say that I am glad that I did not meet you sooner, Reno. You have a kindness within you,” she said, with that same sad little smile, “… even when you’re angry. I think I would have treasured you just as Tseng does. As one of my own. The loss of both a daughter and a son was almost too much for me to bear. I do not think I could have borne a third loss. Tell him… that I’m sorry for what he must endure. And that I will always love him.”

---

He’d been grateful when his suspicions had proven correct. When he’d returned to the dining room, Rufus was already rather loudly complaining to his father of a dreadful headache, and, upon spotting one half of his escort, had informed him, in no uncertain terms, that he was returning to the hotel.

Tseng… had done his best to meet the gaze of the man he’d once called Father. The feigned lack of recognition didn’t seem to twist the knife quite so deeply this time… but it was by no means easy. Oddly enough, he didn’t see his mother anywhere. A part of him had hoped to, even if she wouldn’t – or couldn’t – acknowledge him. Perhaps, though, that was for the best. Facing only one of them was difficult enough.

His brother ignored him utterly… not that Tseng was surprised. Hisao had never been especially adept at hiding his feelings, and he knew that his eldest brother was easily as angry with him as their father was. Better to simply pretend he wasn’t there at all, than to risk a public confrontation.

Tseng quickly collected the Shinra heir and ushered him out into the water garden, following the lantern-lit pathway that led back to the front entrance. He found Reno waiting for them just outside.

“Sent the rookies on ahead to make sure our route back was clear,” the redhead said.

When in Leviathan’s name had he had time to do that? Had Tseng really been in there that long? It hadn’t seemed like it… But then, he wasn’t in the best frame of mind at the moment. Time seemed to have somewhat taken on a life of its own. For that matter, he hadn’t even taken note of the fact that the rookies had been missing from the party at all, something that normally would never have slipped his notice. Before he could respond, the redhead’s PHS chimed softly and his protege glanced down at the screen.

“Sykes says we’re good.”

“… Let’s go, then,” Tseng replied, glad that at least one of them was thinking clearly enough to follow protocol. It seemed that he was far more shaken than he’d realized.

They started off into the night. A few short blocks away, they could hear the festival still in full swing, and routed themselves around the crowded areas.

“So…” Rufus said, rather haughtily, “That was your illustrious father, then?”

“Yes, sir,” the Turk lieutenant replied.

“Hmph. Well, I can’t say as I’m impressed. He was an utter bore all through dinner.”

“Sir… I realize you’re trying to help –”

“But I’m not succeeding, am I?” Rufus sighed, in a uncharacteristically put-out tone of voice. Reno snorted in somewhat sarcastic laughter, and to Tseng’s surprise, he found himself echoing it faintly.

“I do appreciate the effort, sir.”

Rufus shook his head. “And I thought my father could be callous… Did you know they would be there?”

“No. I didn’t. Veld seemed to think it was a late addition to the guest list. They weren’t on it when we vetted it last week.”

“Wonder how they ended up on it so last minute?” Reno mused, and Rufus looked over him, cocking an eyebrow.

“You really are oblivious, aren’t you?” he said with a slight sneer. “If you’d been paying attention to the conversation instead of what was on your plate for a change, he would have answered that question for you. He heard about the dinner through a more… well-connected… acquaintance and rather shamelessly called in a favor in his war-hero son’s name. I assume for the prestige of being able to say that he dined with both the emperor and the president.”

Tseng turned, looking at him in surprise.

“It’s… rather unlike my father to openly brag about something like that,” he said. He certainly wouldn’t put doing so above him… Hiro Itsudake was a fairly shrewd businessman in his own right. He’d had to be to effectively manage the large swathe of land he’d inherited from his own father. But the man had never been a braggart, and tended to play things much closer to the vest than that.

“Yes, well… there was, admittedly, a fair bit of reading between the lines involved,” Rufus replied, “But I’ve been in enough meetings with pompous, arrogant, entitled suck-ups to be quite adept at that sort of thing at this point. They never come right out and say it.”

Tseng’s heart sank slightly. If that was true, he doubted it had anything to do with prestige. That wasn’t his father’s way. No… this had been about Tseng. He’d wanted to see him… to drive home the point that he no longer meant anything at all to him or to his family.

“Tch… He’s got it like… a hundred percent wrong, ya know, Boss…” Reno interjected, smirking slightly at having the chance to one-up the vice president.

“I beg your pardon?” Rufus shot back, scowling in annoyance at the redhead.

“Wasn’t your dad that wanted to come,” the younger man said. “It was your mom.”

“And just how would you know that?” the vice president scoffed. Reno’s smirk widened.

“‘Cause she told me.”

Tseng stopped dead in his tracks. It took the other two men a few seconds to realize that they’d been momentarily abandoned.

“You… spoke with my mother?”

Reno paused, turning back to face him, as he somewhat sheepishly rubbed the back of his head.

“… Yeah. Think she must’ve waitin’ to get me alone for a couple minutes. She kinda turned up right after you went back inside to check on the brat, here.”

Rufus glowered at the redhead and folded his arms over his chest, but for once, opted not to rise to the bait… apparently just as curious about the unexpected meeting as Tseng was.

“She… just wanted to see you again, Boss. She talked your dad into gettin’ ’em invited,” he continued, somewhat awkwardly. “She said said she could see how much it hurt you and that they shouldn’t’ve come, but she just really wanted to see you.” He hesitated a moment, eyes subtly glancing in Rufus’ direction as though internally debating whether or not he should continue before apparently deciding that Tseng wouldn’t mind. “She… um… wanted me to tell you… she was sorry. Ya know… for all this. And that she still loves you.”

“… I see…” Tseng breathed.

He didn’t know what to say to that. A part of him half-wished she had just left things alone. It would have been easier. But a much larger part silently rejoiced at the thought of his mother defying his father and acknowledging him in any way, even through a proxy. And… however much it may have hurt, he was glad he’d been able to see her again, as well… even if it was a only fleeting and momentary reunion.

The group walked in silence for the few short blocks it took to arrive back at the hotel. Neither Rufus nor the redhead seemed to want to be the first to break in on the senior Turk’s thoughts. Even the light bickering between just the two of them had subsided by then, and in spite of the shock he’d received tonight at seeing his family again, he couldn’t help but consider how fortunate he truly was.

Rufus – who seldom gave voice to any emotions beside irritation and general disdain – cared enough to violate his own professional obligations for his sake. Granted, said obligation was something he hated anyway, but Tseng knew from experience that there were very few people he would so willingly risk the social disapproval and inevitable gossip about himself for. After all, the Turks were supposed to be the loyal ones, serving the executive board… not the other way around. But… it didn’t surprise him, either. Rufus always had been the type who showed how he regarded a person through actions rather than words.

And Reno… well, Reno was, as always, Reno. The young man very much wore his heart on his sleeve, and Tseng was well aware that the younger Turk considered him to be a sort of pseudo-parent. There was never any question about how his protege felt about him. The redhead was openly affectionate and unafraid of telling him outright just how much he cared.

When they did finally arrive at their destination, Tseng quickly found himself flanked by the pair of them, and being escorted bodily up the stairs. He was almost convinced that they’d planned this beforehand, save that he knew for a fact that they wouldn’t have had the opportunity to do so. Reno snickered quietly at his questioning expression.

“You need a night off, Boss. And we’re gonna make sure ya get one.”

“As much as it aggravates me to be in agreement with your pet slum rat on virtually anything… I concur,” Rufus added, “I will not have you disappear on me a second time over a petty act of vengeance enacted by your odious progenitor.”

Reno grinned slightly.

“Ya know… I’m really not sure if I oughta take you agreein’ with me as a compliment or an insult.”

“It was, most assuredly,an insult,” the Shinra heir sneered.

“Wasn’t a very good one, then…” the redhead shot back.

“Alright…” Tseng interrupted, chuckling softly in spite of himself, “That’s enough… as amusing as it has been.” He paused for a moment and smiled slightly. “Thank you. Both of you.” He glanced over at Rufus in particular. “And no… I will not be pulling an unexpected disappearing act. I’ve largely made my peace with what happened… tonight’s rather unpleasant shock not withstanding.”

The young executive looked noticeably relieved at the pronouncement, and it occurred to Tseng that it had been no idle concern when Rufus had voiced that fear a moment ago. He meant it. And somehow, knowing that he was so ardently wanted here made his father’s shunning of him easier to bear.

“Tch… yeah, well… I’m gonna hold ya to that, Boss. You try ‘n take off on us again, I’m tyin’ ya to a chair this time. And lockin’ that chair in a closet ’til you come to your senses.”

Tseng gave a soft laugh and shook his head.

“It won’t come to that,” he replied as they reached the room he was sharing with Veld for the duration of their stay in the capitol. He reached into his jacket for his key, but hesitated. He looked over at Rufus. “If you’re truly serious about giving me the remainder of night off, sir… I can think of far more relaxing places to spend an evening than the hotel…”

After all… the threat level here in the capitol city was minimal. The rookies were still patrolling the streets on the off chance something cropped up. And Leviathan only knew when the next time he might have the opportunity might be…

… Which was how, little more than fifteen minutes later, Tseng found himself quietly relaxing in the healing waters of tiny bathhouse near the base of the sacred mountains. The steam from the hot spring water curled into the night air, only to be whisked away on the breeze and the only sounds were that of running water and crickets chirping in the darkness.

Well… and the occasional splashing.

“So… you’re just s’posed to sit here?” Reno asked, shifting once again to recline back against a large, flat rock that was propped at an angle near the edge of the bath. He’d been flitting about the space somewhat restlessly since they’d gotten in, not quite certain what to do with himself. Tseng chuckled quietly.

“Yes… that is the general idea,” he said, good-naturedly, “It’s meant to be restorative and relaxing.”

“Is he even capable of sitting still for more than five seconds?” Rufus inquired, lifting the corner of the towel that was draped over his eyes just enough that he could glare at the redhead. Reno ignored him in favor of scooping up a handful of the mineral deposits that coated the bottom of the pool and letting the sediment filter through his fingers, back into the water. It left a thick, white cloud in its wake as it sank back to the bottom that the younger man dissipated with a swipe of his hand, grinning for a moment before finally abandoning the amusement and paddling over towards the tiny waterfall that fed the pool.

“Capable, yes,” Tseng replied, teasingly, “Inclined to do so of his own accord? I’m afraid not, sir…”

“Tch… Oh, sure… Gang up on me,” the redhead groused, but he did obligingly settle down, making himself comfortable in his new location. He leaned back, letting his head rest against the stone, gazing up at the star-filled sky. “Okay… I’d still rather be swimmin’, but maybe this is kinda nice, too. Heh… to bad it’s no co-ed…”

“Oh, for Ramuh’s sake…” Rufus groaned, pulling the towel away entirely. “There isn’t even anyone else here right now, let alone any women. Are sex and food the only things that run through your pathetic excuse for a mind?”

“Sometimes I think about havin’ sex with food…” the redhead jokingly offered, laughing, “Does that count?”

Rufus eyed the younger man for a moment and then turned to the Turk lieutenant.

“When we return to Midgar, have him submit himself for a mandatory psychological evaluation,” the Shinra heir deadpanned. “He’s clearly some sort of deviant.”

Tseng snorted softly in amusement. “Yes, sir. Though I’m quite certain the medical staff is already well aware of that.”

It was hard to believe that just a short while ago he’d been in a near panic over the presence of his estranged family. It was beginning to feel like little more than a distant memory now… and he doubted it had anything to do with the alleged ancient healing properties of the springs. These two young men – each endlessly irritating and endearing in their own right – were more important than his father’s unrelenting fury or his mother’s inability to speak out against her husband’s decree. Somehow, he’d become mentor, confidante, friend… parent… to them both. They were his family.

For a brief moment tonight, he’d allowed himself to forget that, giving the guilt and pain he’d fought so hard to be free of a fresh foothold in his mind. He wasn’t going to make that mistake again.

“Just who are you callin’ a deviant, sir? I’m not the one with the stick up his ass…” Reno playfully snickered, not bothering to look up from his now far more relaxed position.

“You disgust me,” Rufus sneered, returning the towel to its previous position.

His family. His… strange, dysfunctional, not the least bit normal in any way, sharp, or form… family. Tseng smiled silently to himself and settled back into a small indentation in one of the rocks. He wouldn’t have them any other way.

~end chapter 48~