Desha's Reno of the Turks Fan Fiction

Chapter 21: Coming to Terms

The straps holding the heavy bag in place finally gave way, and the final impact sent it flying a good fifteen feet across the gym floor.

“Wow,” Petra breathed.

“… You know something? I’m pretty sure Rude is the absolute last person in the world I’d ever want mad at me,” Sykes said quietly, eyes locked on the sight.

“Yeah, I’m sort of thinking the same thing,” Liam agreed. It was early. The three of them had come downstairs to wake themselves up a little before they inevitably had to head out. Those plans had come to an abrupt halt when they’d stumbled upon the senior Turk angrily beating the hell out of the practice bags in the gym.

“Um… hey. Let’s just… leave him alone, okay? How about breakfast instead?” Petra suggested. The other two rookies nodded in agreement, and the trio silently backed out the way they’d come, before turning tail and beating a hasty retreat to the elevator. She hit the button for the cafeteria floor, and the door slid shut.

“What was that all about, do you think?” Sykes asked.

“Cissnei, obviously,” Petra replied, “Doesn’t it make you angry, too?”

“Well… yeah, I guess so. But… I dunno. More sad than angry.”

“Everyone’s different,” Petra said with a shrug, “Sato’s got a half assembled bomb spread out over the table in the lounge this morning and I… I’m pretty sure I heard Kai crying last night. And I haven’t even seen Reno since we got back, which is just bizarre. He’s usually one of the first ones checking in on us after an assignment.”

It hadn’t occurred to him until now, but Liam suddenly realized that Petra was right. He hadn’t seen hide nor hair of the senior Turk, either. Not since they’d returned to headquarters and some of their number had stopped by the cafeteria before bed. The redhead had been among them. Liam and Petra had just been too bone-tired to bother with food.

“… He was really quiet last night,” Sykes said. “Rude picked the look on the kitchen and hooked us up with some hot food, but… Reno hardly touched it and then he took off a few minutes later. Haven’t seen him since.”

“He and Tseng saw it happen, right?” said Liam, and Petra nodded. “I don’t think I’d have much of an appetite either if I watched a friend die right in front of me.”

“We don’t know that she’s dead. I mean… she could have survived it,” said Sykes.

“Yeah… maybe. I hope so.” Liam wasn’t holding out much hope, though. Granted, he wasn’t the planet’s leading expert on surviving a giant wall of water to the face, but… he didn’t think the odds were exactly in the senior Turk’s favor. Petra shook her head.

“I hope so, too… but think we should prepare ourselves for the worst,” she acknowledged, as the doors opened on the thirty-fifth floor. “We have flash floods like that back home sometimes, in the rainy season. The nearby canyons can fill up in a matter of seconds, and anyone and anything in the path of the water is just… gone. It’s why the village was built so high, on the plateau, to begin with. Sometimes we find things that were washed away miles from where they started… when we find them at all. I lost a great-uncle to a flood one season when I was little. The village searched for weeks, but never found his body.”

The other two fell silent at the information and made their way into the cafeteria and hopped into the – rather short, given the still-early hour – line. The trio collected their breakfast and carried their plates over to their usual table… only to find that Remy, Kai, and Reno had beaten them to it. Kai smiled tiredly at the three of them.

“Morning, Turklings… Sleep well?”

“… I guess,” Liam supplied, sliding into one of the seats.

“We’ll be working split shifts today,” said Remy, “Half us of will join the Shinra troops already in the slums this morning. A relief team will take their place after lunch. Veld will be briefing us per usual, but he asked me to pass along that if anyone needs to talk to someone, the Medical department has been informed of what happened yesterday and counseling staff are on standby.”

Liam heard a faint snort from Reno’s direction, but the redhead didn’t look up from his meal.

“And of course, any one of us would be willing, as well,” a voice behind the trio stated, startling all three of them.

“Oh, for Hades’ sake, Tseng…” Kai said, rolling her eyes, “Stop sneaking up behind people. Most of us are running on way too little sleep and no one’s in the mood to have the crap scared out of them right now.”

“My apologies… It wasn’t intentional,” the Turk lieutenant said, setting his food down and taking a seat at the table. The three rookies finally joined them, as well.

“Have… there been any new developments, sir?” Remy asked. Tseng shook his head.

“Nothing of consequence. Obviously, the rain has yet to stop. Sector 3 is inaccessible, Sector 4 is almost entirely flooded, as well, at this point, and Five is… more than slightly over-crowded on account. I would venture a guess that we will largely be helping to keep the peace. Until the water recedes, there’s little rescue work to be done. Or… recovery work.”

Reno suddenly set his fork down and shoved his half-empty plate away.

“Tch… I’m gonna go find Rude.”

“Reno…” Tseng began, but the redhead ignored him, getting to his feet and striding away.

“He’s in the training hall, sir…” Liam called after him, to which he, at least, received a wave of acknowledgment.

“What in the Nine Hells was that all about?” Kai asked, and Tseng sighed.

“It’s… a long story. Suffice it to say, he’s not especially pleased with me at the moment. I had hoped that a good night’s sleep might cool his temper somewhat, but… apparently not,” he replied, before turning his attention to his own food. Liam didn’t miss the look that was subsequently shared between Kai and Remy.

---

“Punishin’ the workout equipment again, huh?” Reno queried as he came up behind Rude in the training hall. The bald Turk, slammed another punch into the bag. His second of the morning.

“Makes me feel better,” he grunted in acknowledgment. Reno took up a position to one side, simply watching him for a moment, before finally taking a deep, shuddering breath. “Rude… tell me she’s not really gone.”

He hadn’t slept. At least not for more then ten or twenty minutes at a time. His entire night had been an endless cycle of drifting off, seeing horrifying images in his dreams, and waking up in a cold sweat… lather, rinse, repeat. Far too many of those dreams had included Cissnei.

Rude landed one more punch and turned to face him.

“I… can’t.”

The redhead’s shoulders drooped.

“But I mean… there’s at least a chance, right?” Rude was silent for too long, and before he could manage an answer the redhead had stepped forward and slammed his own fist into the punching bag. “Goddammit, it’s not fucking fair! Why’d it have to be her?”

Hit hit it again. And again. And again.

“This doesn’t. Fucking. Help!” he ground out between blows, until finally Rude seized his arms and pulled him away. He turned the smaller Turk around and pulled him into a crushing embrace. Reno went limp in his arms, the burst of energy suddenly spent.

“I know,” Rude said, simply.

---

By lunchtime, Rude was filthy, hungry, and tired. He and Reno had been part of the first shift to return to the Slums, along with Remy, Petra, and Sykes. Veld had asked him privately to stick close to Reno, and he’d obligingly done so. It had quickly become apparent why.

He’d had to stop him three times from trying to enter the flooded neighboring sector to begin his own one-man search for the missing Turk. After the third attempt, he’d finally forced him to tell him what the hell was going on with him, and the whole story had come out. How he’d tried to reach Cissnei but had been forced back by Tseng’s intervention. How there was no trace of her after the deluge had passed. How blindingly furious he’d been with his mentor afterwards, and still was every time he ran into Tseng.

For a short while, Rude was furious, too. But the more the redhead talked, the more it became frighteningly apparent that he’d very nearly lost two friends yesterday. Reno, however… didn’t seem to be ready to accept that yet. And Rude didn’t want to push the issue. The younger man would eventually come to the same conclusion, he was sure… but he knew Reno well enough to understand that, this time, at least, he needed to do so himself, not be forced into it.

This wasn’t a case of the the redhead doubting himself. In those instances, an unexpected dip in the company pool and a brief heart to heart was usually all it took to snap him out of it. No… this time, it was almost the opposite. Reno believed he was right – even though it was pretty clear that he wasn’t – and wasn’t going to be told otherwise.

He’d figure it. Eventually.

Rude, meanwhile, was filled with a deep sense of regret. Cissnei had been… more than just a friend, for a long time now. He’d finally found the courage to tell her so – or at least ask her out so he could tell her so – and now this. Like the redhead had said earlier… it wasn’t fucking fair. He wished so desperately that he’d made a move sooner. He wished he’d told her how he felt. Now it was too late.

And watching Reno struggling to come to terms with her loss, he decided then and there not to say anything about that to him. The younger Turk was already dangerously close to blaming himself for her death – when he wasn’t blaming Tseng, that is. He didn’t need to know right now. Maybe not ever. It’s not as if it would bring her back, after all, and it would just cause his friend more pain.

Rude glanced over toward the central pillar and spotted a train winding its way down. He looked down at his watch.

“Reno!” he called out to the redhead, “Looks like our ride’s here.”

Reno turned his gaze towards the incomplete station and the engine slowly descending toward it and heaved a deep sigh.

“Tch… Let’s go…” he muttered. Rude wordlessly trailed along behind him, and they made their way through the city of tents that had sprung up overnight. As they slipped past a line of people waiting for food, a figure suddenly darted out of the crowd, barreling directly towards the pair. Rude couldn’t even shout a warning to the redhead. By the time he’d realized what was happening, his fellow Turk had already been tackled around the waist and sent staggering backwards with a loud ooph!

“The fuck?!” the surprised redhead cried, staring down in shock at his newly acquired attachment.

“Kira?!” a voice called out from somewhere in the distance, and Rude caught sight of a harried-looking woman pushing her way through the middle of the food line. She quickly covered the distance between them, and paled slightly as she spotted their uniforms and recognition dawned. “I am so sorry… Kira, let go. Come with Mommy.”

Rude suddenly snickered as he realized that the “attacker” was actually a little girl.

“He’s the one who found me, Mommy!” she said, hugging the Turk tightly. Reno blinked somewhat owlishly for a moment before finally finding his voice.

“Uh… hey, there.”

“O-oh!” the woman, managed, “I… didn’t realize you were… er… Thank you. So much.”

“Yeah… No problem. Hey, stick close to your mom, huh, kid? You don’t wanna go gettin’ lost again.”

The woman smiled and quickly led the girl back to the food line, smiling gratefully at the two Turks.

“Fuck… Kids, man,” he said shaking his head. “Where the hell’d she even come from?”

Rude managed a soft chuckle in spite of his less than happy mindset. “Not sure. But with ambush skills like that, maybe we ought to mark her for potential recruitment. In about ten years…”

Reno rolled his eyes, and set off towards the train again. It had come to a stop about a hundred feet from the station itself, prevented from actually entering by the unfinished track next to the platform. Rude saw a small group walking the remaining distance. As they drew closer, he recognized Tseng and Sato as well as Veld, and at the back of the procession, Liam.

“Guess Medical hasn’t cleared Kai yet,” Reno commented. They met up with the relief team just as they entered the train station.

“Status update?” Veld inquired.

“Nothin’ much to report, sir. We broke up a few fights earlier, but things have been pretty quiet otherwise…” Reno replied, as they were joined by the remainder of their team. The Turk leader nodded.

“That’s what I like to hear. You five head back topside, then. The office has been fairly quiet as well. I’m afraid we’ll be working at least part of this weekend, so… we’ll see you in the morning.”

“Yes, sir,” Reno replied, and started on his way up to the train. As he passed by Tseng, the Turk lieutenant reached out, resting a hand on the redhead’s shoulder. Reno shrugged him off, shooting him a glare, and simply kept walking. Rude sighed softly, and followed, slowing slightly as he, too, walked by the senior Turk.

“I’ll look after him, sir,” he said, quietly, before hurrying after his friend.

---

It was past their normal quitting time by the time the second team returned to headquarters. Tseng leaned back against the wall of the elevator as it carried him upwards. He’d stopped on the ninth floor when they’d arrived to have a nasty gash on his arm seen to. The others had already dispersed, most of them to the showers in the gym, he suspected. He’d be making a side trip there as well, shortly. But first, there was someone he needed to check on.

Assuming he hadn’t opted to go home by now, that is… but knowing Reno, if the rest of the team was spending the night in the office sleeping quarters again, he would be, too.

When he arrived on the fifty-eighth floor, he could hear faint conversation coming from the lounge. But as he made it’s way toward it, Kai rounded the corner, spotting him immediately, and made a beeline straight for him. He paused, wondering if something had happened while he was gone.

“Hey… so… about Reno,” she began, almost immediately, and not so subtly seized him by the sleeve and dragged him into her office, closing the door behind them.

“Has something happened?” he asked, concerned. Kai shook her head.

“No… No, he’s… fine. Relatively speaking,” she said, somewhat awkwardly, “I was just wondering… Do you want me to try talking to him for you?”

“Kai…”

“Look… I understand that kind of anger. He’s too pissed off at you to see the bigger picture right now. Maybe… someone who’s been there before can –”

“No,” Tseng said, firmly.

“But –”

“I appreciate the offer, Kai. I truly do. But I think if I send you in as my personal advocate right now, it will only make things worse. This… is something he and I need to work out between ourselves, just as you and I did.”

Kai snorted softly. “Yeah… Remind again me how many years it took us to work that out…” She sighed and ran her fingers through her short-cropped locks. “Look… I don’t want you to have to go through that again. Especially not with Reno, of all people.”

She had a point. Still… he worried that his young protege might view such an intervention as having his fellow Turks gang up on him. It might inadvertently end up stoking his anger farther. No… the best course of action was to ride it out. Let him come to terms with what had happened in his own time, and be there when he was ready to address it with him. It would be… unpleasant… for the Wutaiian Turk, but in the end, it was for the best.

“I will… consider… the idea. But only if I find that I can make no progress on my own,” he said at last.

The diminutive Turk rolled her eyes. “Ugh. Have it your way, you obstinate pain in the ass,” she sighed, “Just don’t forget I’m here… okay?”

“I won’t,” Tseng replied, with a grateful smile.

---

It was days before the water finally began to recede. Even with Shinra Company actively pumping it out of the Slums, it was going to take awhile. And until conditions improved, forays into the flooded areas had to remain on hold. Reno had spent half the weekend in the office and the other half at home, nestled in bed with Lira, who had finally admitted defeat and taken him up on his offer of a place to stay while Wal Market dried out.

Monday, however, meant a return to work. They weren’t going into the Slums anymore. Not yet, at any rate, and with each passing day, the sliver of hope that they might still find Cissnei alive he tenaciously clung to faded a little more.

He still wasn’t sleeping well… not even with Lira there to comfort him.

By mid-week, he had a feeling that that was becoming painfully obvious to everyone in the office. Tseng had tried a number of times to talk to him, but the redhead simply could not move past his mentor’s callous disregard for the other Turk’s life. He hadn’t even let Reno try to save her! And he could have. He was… pretty sure he could have.

“What in the Nine Hells happened to you?” a voice addressed him as he stepped out of the elevator on Thursday morning.

“Fuck off, Kai… I haven’t had my coffee yet.”

“I think you need more than just coffee, Baby Turkling.” she snickered, “You look like you haven’t slept in a month.”

“I’m not kiddin’ Kai…” he replied, annoyed, “I’m in no mood for your shit right now.”

The senior Turk eyed him for a moment, as if considering something, and then shook her head and took hold of his arm, turning him around a hundred and eighty degrees and marching him back into the elevator.

“Come on, Baby Turkling. Veld already made the coffee today. Let’s go get something that won’t put us back on medical leave. My treat.”

And that was how, about ten minutes later, Reno found himself seated in a tiny coffee shop across the street from the Shinra Building, drinking the mocha latte Kai had ordered for him before he could decide what he wanted and sharing one of those ridiculously over-sized muffins with her.

“So… rough night, huh?” she said once they were settled. The redhead took a long sip of the sweet, slightly chocolaty drink and vaguely wondered why the crap he’d never bothered ordering one of these things before. They were fucking delicious!

“… Yeah. You could say that,” he admitted.

“Bad dreams?”

He glanced up at her and then down at his coffee, and sighed.

“About… what happened with Cissnei?” she prodded.

“I really don’t wanna get into it. Bad enough that shit’s keepin’ me up all night. I don’t need to be thinkin’ about it during the fucking day, too.”

“Can I offer you some friendly advice?” Kai queried.

“Tch… Like you’re just gonna sit there ‘n be quiet if I say no?” he shot back, a sarcastic note to his voice. Kai snorted a soft laugh in response, but quickly sobered.

“Talk to Tseng.”

The redhead’s eyes narrowed in suspicion.

“What? He send you in to talk me into not bein’ pissed at him or somethin’?”

“Actually he pretty much forbade me from bringing it up. Buuuuut… he’s also a stubborn jackass who won’t admit to anyone just how much having you hate him is affecting him, so I’m pointedly ignoring him on this.”

Reno scoffed and took an angry bite out of their muffin.

“What? You think it’s not affecting him?” she asked when he said nothing. The Turk rolled her eyes. “Do you think is was easy for him to stand there and do nothing to help her?” she asked. “Do you think he wanted her to die? He had a choice to make. Lose one Turk… or lose two. He chose to save the Turk he could save.”

“How the fuck do you know he couldn’t’ve saved us both?” the redhead growled, “I was right fucking there. Ten more seconds and I’da had her.”

“Ten more seconds and you’d have been swept away with her,” she replied, “I read the report, you know. Tseng barely managed to haul you in alone against that current. No way in hell could he have held you both long enough for a Shiva-forsaken flood of water to pass.”

“I was tied off…”

“Yeah… to an old fence. Come on, Reno. You know that post would’ve been ripped right out of the ground in seconds.”

“I don’t know that, ‘n neither do you!” he said and got to his feet, grabbing his coffee. He started to storm off, and then turned back and glared. “Ya know what? I’m takin’ the rest of the goddamn muffin, too!”

He snatched up the baked good.

“Hurting Tseng won’t bring her back, Reno,” Kai stated, bluntly. “It didn’t bring back my Alyssa, and it won’t bring back Cissnei.”

“Fuck you, Kai,” he called out, without looking back, as he left the shop and crossed the street back to company headquarters. If he’d had a free hand, he’d have flipped her off for good measure. Where the hell did she get off telling him how to feel, anyway?

And so what if he was trying to share a little of his pain with Tseng? Didn’t he deserve it? The cold son of a bitch just fucking stood there and let Cissnei get swept away like she was nothing. Kai was fucking full of it. This wasn’t affecting Tseng at all…

Except… deep down, he knew that wasn’t true. Tseng cared deeply for all of his Turks. He just wasn’t the type to broadcast his feelings to anyone who’d listen. Reno had seen him in the depths of despair once… and, though he wasn’t willing to admit it right now, he never wanted to again.

But that didn’t change the fact that he’d just fucking stood there and let it happen!

By the time Reno returned to the office, everyone had gathered in the briefing room. He shot Tseng an icy glare as he took a seat on the opposite side of the room… and tried very hard not to notice the wounded look that briefly flashed across his mentor’s face. He was not going to let Kai get to him. He was ticked off, and he was gonna fucking stay ticked off until not being ticked off stopped hurting so goddamn much.

Kai shuffled in a couple minutes after he did, and took the empty seat near Tseng.

“Well… now that we’re all here,” Veld began, “As the first order of the day, I need some volunteers. It’s taken nearly a week, but the water in Sector 4 has dropped substantially, and recovery teams are being sent in today. Obviously, it’s not going to be… pleasant. But it’s a necessity, and we’ll need to keep things under control and organized down there. You’ll be helping reunite families with anyone who has managed to survive this long… as well as the remains of those who didn’t. Emotions will be running high, and there is already quite a bit of unrest due to the overcrowding. Our job is to try and prevent things from boiling over. I’d like three of you to go.”

Reno was the first to raise his hand to volunteer. Rude mirrored the gesture mere moments later.

“I’ll go, too,” said Kai, and the redhead forced himself not to groan. That figured. She probably wanted to corner him again.

“Good. The rookies will be with Remy in the training hall this morning. Sato… courier duty. Report to the vice president for details. And Tseng… I need to speak to you in private,” the Turk leader concluded. Dismissed, the group began to filter out to see to their assignments. Reno was the first out the door.

---

Once the others had dispersed, Tseng followed his mentor to his office. He had a suspicion as to what this was about. After all, it would have been difficult not to notice that the situation between the redhead and himself had not improved. A week ago, he’d been certain of his course. Now he was starting to think that perhaps he should let Kai speak to him after all. Reno seemed to be growing more distant to him by the day.

“Sir… I am trying to get Reno to under–,” he began only to be cut off.

“It’s not about Reno,” Veld said. “Though I’ll admit, I am starting to get a little concerned about him. But I’m afraid we have a more immediate problem at the moment.”

“Sir?”

Veld grimaced and took a seat at his desk. “It seems one of the news stations has gone a bit rogue. There’s been a great deal of criticism of the evacuation efforts. One reporter in particular seems to be the instigator… Insisting that Shinra Company should have acted sooner, stirring up trouble. The President… is not happy.”

“I’ll get right on it, sir,” Tseng said, understandingly.

“Her name is Harper Fields,” the Turk leader said, handing him a dossier on the woman, “Make it look convincing. Nothing that will draw suspicion. An unfortunate car accident, perhaps…”

“Yes, sir.”

Veld hesitated a moment, and then sighed. “How is Reno doing?”

“It’s difficult to say. I seem to be getting the silent treatment at the moment… He hasn’t spoken to me about anything other than his assignments since it happened. He won’t even say hello.” He shook his head. “The worst part is… it’s readily apparent how much he’s grieving for his friend, but he won’t allow me to so much as comfort him. It hurts to see him in such pain. And… it hurts more to know that I was the cause of it. Maybe he was right. Maybe I was too hasty in forcing him to retreat.”

“I don’t believe that for a second, and I don’t think you do, either,” Veld stated. “It was a difficult decision to make, but it was the right decision. They’d both be dead right now if you had tried to save them both, and quite possibly, so would you. Don’t start second-guessing yourself, Tseng.”

“Yes, sir. I’ll… go and see to that reporter.”

“Tseng…,” Veld said, before he could move to leave, “Would you like me to speak to him? Sometimes a third party’s unbiased opinion can make a difference.”

Tseng managed a slight smile. “Sir, with all due respect… I think you’re the last person Reno, or anyone else, for that matter, would consider unbiased when it comes to me. As I told Kai when she made the same offer… this is something he must come to terms with on his own.”

Veld shook his head. “Alright. He’s your protege. It’s your decision. But this can’t continue indefinitely. It’s going to start to have a negative effect on his job performance sooner or later. If I have to, I’ll order him to report to Medical for a psych eval.”

“He will work through it, sir,” Tseng said, firmly, “Just… trust me.”

“I do trust you, Tseng. That’s why I haven’t already given him that order. But that courtesy only extends so far… If this begins to be a problem for the rest of the team, I’ll have no choice. The good of the team as a whole has to come first.”

“Yes, sir. I understand,” the Wutaiian Turk replied.

He took his leave from Veld’s office and went to his own to read through the dossier before heading out. It wouldn’t be difficult to track the woman down. He knew her from her appearances on television. She was a veritable local celebrity. It was just a matter of finding that one moment in her schedule that he could slip in, unnoticed.

He set the folder on his desk and dropped into the chair behind it, running a hand over his face. It was a simple assignment. He had a feeling that was on purpose, and he was quietly grateful for it.

The situation with Reno was wearing him down far more than he cared to admit. It was simply too familiar. Things with Kai had unfolded in much the same way following Alyssa’s death. The only real difference was that he was far less certain of himself this time around. Before, he had never once questioned whether or not he’d done the right thing. This time… though he was fairly sure he had, there was still that tiny bit of doubt lingering in the back of his mind. But it hardly mattered whether he was right or not. It was done, and a Turk was dead. Just like last time.

What really worried him was that he appeared to have learned nothing from the first experience. He’d done his best to appear confident that this would work itself out in front of Veld, but the truth was… he was concerned.

Reno couldn’t stand to be in the same room with him. It had been much the same with Kai. And though they eventually put the worst of it behind them, until very recently they’d lost the close friendship they once had. He didn’t want to lose Reno… but he was lost as to how to prevent it. Every overture he made was rebuffed… Every offer of comfort, rejected. He just… didn’t know what to do.

The thought of being so completely reviled by someone he’d all but adopted and so deeply cared for left him feeling cold and empty inside. He loved Reno. He may not have been his actual child, but he was as close as Tseng was ever likely to get, and the idea that he had irreparably damaged their relationship did not sit well with him.

He felt helpless. And decidedly uncertain. Did he stand by what he’d told Veld and let the young Turk continue to grieve? Give his protege time and distance, and hope that he eventually forgave him? Did he allow someone else to intervene on his behalf and hope that a neutral party might allow the redhead to see reason? Or did he force a confrontation himself? Get everything out in the open and actively deal with it? All three options seemed to carry a significant risk of the redhead never speaking to him again… but he had to do something.

The longer this went on, the more it was starting to affect not only Reno, but Tseng, as well. He was distracted. Worried. Forgetful. Yesterday afternoon, it had completely slipped his mind that he’d scheduled an extra training session with the rookies that very morning.

Veld was right. Things couldn’t continue like this.

---

“Oh, dear Shiva…” Kai said under her breath as she exited the train into Sector 5. Reno and Rude, too, were immediately taken aback by the sight that lay before them.

The large space some distance from the station that had, in previous days, been cleared explicitly for this purpose was now covered in a layer of thick, white plastic sheeting. About a quarter of it was already… occupied.

“Oh, man…” Reno breathed. “Are… are all of ’em…”

“Afraid so,” Kai said, sadly, “Looks like the recovery teams have already been busy…”

Reno gazed out across the expanse of white.

“Are they really plannin’ on that many more?” he asked, vaguely horrified. It didn’t seem possible. There had to be at least a hundred bodies laid out in their makeshift morgue already. Did Shinra really think they’d end up pulling four times that number out of the ruins before this was over?

“They’re estimating on the high side, since we don’t know for sure how many people got out before things got bad enough they sent us in,” the senior Turk explained, “But… yeah. It’s very possible we might end up filling all those spaces.”

“… What will they do with them all?” Rude asked.

“Find families, if they can. For everyone else… kinda hate to say it, but the Junon troops will probably be digging a mass grave in the near future.”

Reno shuddered. He’d never much cared for cemeteries to begin with… but the thought of all those bodies just being dumped in one big hole in the ground creeped him out. Kai slowly exhaled a long breath and turned to the two younger Turks.

“Okay, guys… It’s our job to help keep things orderly. Let’s… make sure we do just that. For their sake.”

The pair nodded, and all three of them set off towards the cordoned-off area.

---

Reno leaned back against one of the train station’s steel support beams, eyes closed as he tried to forget where he was for a few minutes. He took a sip of water from the plastic bottle Kai had shoved at him when she’d told him to go take a break, followed by a long drag off the cigarette in his other hand. He slowly exhaled the plume of smoke, letting it take some of the tension that had built up over the day with it.

He was starting to wish he hadn’t volunteered for this shit.

Watching them carry in body after body all day long was bad enough. But the smell… that was really starting to get to him. In all honesty, he’d thought he was desensitized to that smell at this point. He’d seen plenty of dead people over the last few years. It genuinely didn’t bother him anymore, most of the time. But, dear Ifrit… there were so many! He couldn’t escape that smell, no matter where he turned. Even here, more than two hundred yards away, it still lingered in the air. The cigarette smoke helped a little.

He’d come down in the hopes that he’d somehow miraculously see Cissnei walking in with one of the rescue and recovery teams, but it had been hours. If she was still out there somewhere, alive… they’d have found her by now. He hadn’t seen a living survivor come in since pretty early that morning.

He took another sip of water. Fuck, if he’d just been a little faster. If he’d ditched the rope and swam for it. Maybe…

The redhead sighed and opened his eyes again. Who was he kidding? If he’d gone off the rope, he’d be just as dead as she was. He might have made it to her…but he never would have made it back without Tseng dragging his ass in. He angrily stubbed the remains of his cigarette our against the support beam. Why the hell couldn’t that son of a bitch have just waited?!

Ten seconds. That’s all he would have needed. He was sure of it. Pretty sure. It would’ve been good odds, anyway. Of course… that would have meant ten less seconds to get them both back across to safety, too…

The redhead growled and chugged the water remaining in the bottle, before heading back over to Kai and Rude. Kai was due to take a break next. He couldn’t stand around all day wondering “what if?”.

“Hey,” Rude acknowledged him, handing him a clipboard. “Another group just got back with three more. They want a hand trying to match them up with the reported missing.”

“Yeah… okay. Kai, do us all a favor ‘n go sit down for a few minutes. You look like hell.”

“Hmph… Oh, yeah. You’re one to talk,” the senior Turk retorted, but she didn’t protest the suggestion, heading off in the same direction Reno had just come from. Reno glanced up at Rude.

“So? Where are they?” he asked in resignation to the task at hand. His friend led him across the plastic sheeting towards the far end, where three bodies lay, covered. Rude peered under the first sheet and started going through his list of descriptions, looking for one that matched. The redhead sighed and moved over the the last individual in the row… and froze.

“… No,” he whispered. A hand poked out from beneath the covering. A neatly manicured hand, in a black, fingerless glove. “Please, no…”

He swallowed sharply and hesitantly lifted the sheet. He dropped it again, almost immediately, with a strangled cry, as he backpedaled so fast he ended up flat on his ass on the ground, eyes wide in horror. Rude looked up in alarm, and began to move toward him, but Reno violently shook his head.

“Don’t! Just… just don’t. Don’t come any closer. Y-you don’t wanna see this…” he managed, as he tried to keep the contents of his stomach right where they were. He staggered to his feet, and physically pushed Rude away.

“… Is it –” Rude began, but trailed off, unable to say the words aloud.

It was Cissnei. By rights, the redhead shouldn’t have even been able to recognize her in the state she was in… but… it was her. Reno nodded…

… and then promptly ran for the nearest open space and puked up everything he’d eaten that day.

~end chapter 21~