Desha's Reno of the Turks Fan Fiction

Interludes – Scene 48

Scene Notes: … Maaaaaybe Reno and Elena shouldn’t ask Rufus to babysit anymore.

From TcoR: Advent Children – Bonus Scene:

“… Oh, dear Holy,” Rufus suddenly moaned, “No more diapers. Please Ramuh, no more diapers…”

---

The smell was utterly fetid. It was, quite literally, making his eyes water, and if something wasn’t done soon, there was a very real possibility that he would be seeing his dinner again in the very near future… a prospect that he would very much have preferred to avoid. He glanced hopefully up at the clock… and his face immediately fell. It was well over an hour before they’d be back. Why he’dagreed to this nightmare, he couldn’t even begin to fathom. At last, he simply couldn’t take it anymore.

Rufus hesitantly lifted the source of the foul odor and held it at arms length, carrying it across the room as it cooed at him.

“Rude!” he called out as loudly as he dared. The blasted Turk was supposed to be helping him. Instead, he’d spent most of the evening in the kitchen, emerging only when strictly necessary, with the explanation that he was ‘just there to cook’. As if Elena and the slum rat were utterly incapable of such a task simply because they had a new baby.

The stoic Turk poked his head around the corner, an eyebrow rising in curiosity at the sight that greeted him. In all fairness, Rufus mused, he probably did look just a little ridiculous, slowly making his way toward the kitchen, holding a now-beginning-to-fuss infant out in front of him like a time bomb.

“Rude… Do something,” he ordered, confident that once Aria was safely out of his hands, everything would be perfectly fine.

“… What’s wr–” Rude began, before the smell finally hit him. “Oh, dear Odin…”

“Do something!” he quickly reiterated, as the Turk instinctively retreated a step or two.

“… Take her to her room,” the other man sighed in resignation. “I need to turn this down to a simmer, and then I’ll be in to help.”

Rufus opened his mouth in protest, but no words issued forth. Finally, he had no choice but to turn back, and head for the baby’s room. Aria protested the sudden reversal in course, and began wailing loudly. The President cringed at the sound. Until recently, he’d never thought to consider small children as a viable weapon… but now that he’d spent some time with one, it was becoming increasingly apparent that they might well be an excellent source of artillery for both acoustic and chemical wafare.

He hurried down the hallway, and with a brief sigh of relief, set the little girl down on the changing table and waited for the Turk. Rude appeared in the doorway moments later.

“Well?” he asked, gesturing to the baby.

“… Well what? I don’t know how to do this.”

Rufus stared at him, wide-eyed. “What do you mean you don’t know how to do this?” he snarled. The bald man shrugged.

“Tseng’s usually here for babysitting duty. He always takes care of it.”

Unfortunately for them, Tseng was in Junon. Somehow, Rufus suspected that even if he recalled the Turk leader this very moment, this couldn’t wait until he returned.

“Well, I certainly don’t know what I’m doing,” Rufus replied. “In case you’ve forgotten, I’ve never had any experience with this sort of thing. I’m an only child.”

Rude smirked. “So am I, sir.”

The Shinra executive groaned and turned back to Aria, who by then was sobbing so loudly her face was turning quite red. With no small amount of trepidation, he gently poked at the exceedingly full diaper.

“S-surely it can’t be that difficult… Can it?” he queried. Rude shrugged again.

“Only one way to find out.”

Rufus took a deep breath to steady himself… and immediately regretted it as he gagged. He gingerly gripped the tabs of the squalling little redhead’s diaper and pulled them free, opening it up. His eyes widened in horror as he did so.

“Sweet, merciful Ramuh…”

---

“Guys? We’re home…” Elena called out between giggles as Reno continued to plant teasing kisses down the side of her neck. “Will you cut that out? We have company. Behave yourself…” she teased.

“Not like they’ve never seen it before,” he replied with a grin. It quickly morphed into a leer. “Come to think of it, Rude, at least, has seen me do a lot more than just kiss ya…”

Elena gently gripped his pony tail and pulled just hard enough to stop him from making a second attempt at her neck. “Yes… but we don’t speak of that little incident, do we?”

Reno chuckled. “Not if ‘we’ know what’s good for us, we don’t…” he acknowledged as Rude made his way into the living room. “Hey, partner. How’s my baby girl?”

Rude snickered softly.

“Oh… Aria’s just fine. Sound asleep in her crib. Rufus, on the other hand…”

At the mention of his name, the Shinra heir emerged from the kitchen, clutching a mug of tea with a slightly shell-shocked expression on his face. He made his way over to the group.

“The next time you consider imploring me to babysit… Don’t,” he said, and firmly placed the mug into Reno’s hands before making a hasty exit. Elena blinked in surprise, watching him head off into the darkness, back towards his own lodgings.

“… The hell was that about?” Reno asked. Rude grinned somewhat evilly.

“Aria needed a diaper change.”

“So?” his friend prodded, a questioning eyebrow rising, “What’s the big deal? You’ve probably done that as many times as I have by now…”

“Didn’t tell Rufus that. Made him do it. Thought for sure he was gonna faint halfway through…”

“Rude!” Elena scolded him… though she was unable to stop the laugh that slipped past her lips.

“Ya know… Sometimes you’re one sadistic son of a bitch, pal,” Reno snickered. “And that’s why I love ya…”

~fin~