Desha's Reno of the Turks Fan Fiction

Interludes – Scene 47

Scene Notes: This takes place at the end of TCoR: Advent Children. The night after being reunited and learning that Elena is pregnant, Reno muses over his impending fatherhood.

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Reno couldn’t sleep. There were simply too many thoughts going through his head, and he’d given up even trying hours ago, in spite of being completely spent. He’d been thinking about a lot of things… but mostly about the fact that his life was, in just nine very, very short months, going to change forever.

He shifted position slightly, careful not to wake the woman sleeping so peacefully next to him, and moved so that his head rested gently on Elena’s chest. His hand drifted downwards, coming to rest protectively on her belly. She was going to have a baby. His baby. It still didn’t seem quite real.

He’d hadn’t felt such an odd combination of joy and absolute terror since their wedding day.

The redhead closed his eyes, and nuzzled his wife’s shoulder, pressing a reverent kiss to her soft skin. In truth… he’d never had any desire to be a father. Or maybe, it would be more accurate to say that he’d never allowed himself to want it. Before Elena, it had been something he had been exceptionally cautious to avoid, and after they’d gotten together… well, save for a brief, half-serious conversation in Junon a few weeks into their relationship, it had never really come up.

Now, however… it was happening, whether it seemed real or not. And he was a little surprised to find that wanted it to happen. He wasn’t sure he could even put into words just how badly he wanted it.

At the same time, fear and doubt were currently vying for his undivided attention, and he couldn’t help but dwell on the fact that, quite frankly, he had absolutely no idea how to be a father, let alone a good father. His own… hell, he didn’t even know who he was. He’d never met him… had never been told his name. He could have passed him on the street a hundred times in the last two decades and never realized it. Most of the time that didn’t bother him.

Every once in awhile, though…

When he was very young, he’d occasionally fantasized about knowing him. After awhile, he’d built up a mental image of the man that was so detailed it had almost seemed real. In all likelihood, it probably wasn’t even close to reality. The reality was that his father had probably been some Sector 2 junkie who’d found himself with a little extra gil one night and paid his mother for a good time… and then, more likely than not, had OD’ed before he was ever born.

But the fantasy had been comforting in a weird sort of way. Especially after his mother had died. For a little while, he’d allowed himself to entertain the notion that his father would somehow miraculously find him and take him away from that grimy little orphanage in Sector 2 they’d chucked him into when no one else wanted him. When he was nine, he’d run away from that place… and he’d forced himself to stop thinking about idiotic shit like that.

Reno’s grip on Elena tightened, and he silently swore that his child wasn’t going to grow up like that. He’d never particularly liked not knowing the first thing about who he came from. His lineage beyond his mother was a mystery he’d never been able to solve. And he had tried… but record keeping in Midgar’s slums was notoriously lax, and he’d found no trace of her in any of the records departments on the Plate after he’d become a Turk. Eventually, he’d given up.

His child wasn’t going to have that problem. He or she was going to grow up knowing its parents and every other relative still living. It would know it was loved and wanted and precious to all of them. His child was never going to have to piece together a family one relationship at a time he way he’d had to.

His child… their child… was going to come into this world with parents that loved them… and a couple of uncles that would do anything to keep them safe. He’d make sure of it. No one was ever going to hurt his baby… and anyone who tried was going to wish they’d never been born.

Elena stirred slightly in her sleep, and Reno let himself relax a little. He wasn’t in this alone… and he wouldn’t be learning to do it by himself. That thought calmed the worry somewhat, and let him dwell instead on how much he was looking forward to this, unexpected though it was.

Maybe the next nine months weren’t going to be so short after all. In fact… nine months suddenly seemed like an almost unbearable eternity.

~fin~