Desha's Reno of the Turks Fan Fiction

What’s the matter Mary Jane, you had a hard day
So place the don’t disturb sign on your door

Liquid green gazing out from behind a mop of red hair… She shuts the door quietly, robotically, trying to avoid the innocence pooled in those eyes, slow steps carrying her across the dirty floor. Why bother to lock the door? Anyone could break it down… Take what they want and disappear into the night. There’s nothing worth stealing anyway… not here. ‘Take what you want and go… just don’t forget my price.’ But that only applies on street corners and dimly lit bars that reek of smoke and vomit. Not here… Here there is never any restitution made. Steps growing heavier by the minute. She is amazed that she makes it into her bedroom. The pleas of the little boy playing alone in the filth of the room fall on deaf ears. She closes the door.

You lost your place in line again, what a pity
You never seem to want to dance anymore

“Mommy? What’s wrong mommy? I’m hungry mommy…”

It’s a long way down
On this roller coaster
The last chance street car
Went off the track
And you’re on it

Falling into darkness. Her mind is numb, her heart is dead, her soul… Did she ever have a soul to begin with? She is certain that if she ever did, she sold it a long time ago, along with her dignity. She wonders if she sold it for food or for a bottle of cheap liquor…

I hear you’re counting sheep again Mary Jane
What’s the point of tryin’ to dream anymore?
I hear you’re losing weight again Mary Jane
Do you ever wonder who you’re losing it for?

She’s tired. So very tired she can’t even sleep. But what good would sleep do her anyway? Only let her dream of faceless men who come and go and take what they want and pay her, but never enough. Never enough to feed them both… so she goes without so he can eat because she can’t stand to see that look of hunger in those beautiful green eyes. What will happen to those eyes when she withers away to nothingness?

Well its full speed baby
In the wrong direction
There’s a few more bruises
If that’s the way
You insist on heading

Where else is there to go? She knows what she is… knows her place… knows it with bitter acceptance. She knows it well. It is confirmed with each new bruise and black eye and broken rib. Reaffirmed in dank backrooms and cheap hotels that rent rooms by the hour. And then when she comes back here and those pretty green eyes have to look at her, she knows she is forever tainted.

Please be honest Mary Jane

Are you happy?
Please don’t censor your tears

She can’t cry anymore… Gods, how she longs to cry… But her tears have dried up. She doesn’t have any left. She’s used them all in a futile attempt to cleanse her soul, even if she did sell it for pocket change. If only she could borrow some tears… the tears of an innocent… like her son.

You’re the sweet crusader
And you’re on your way
You’re the last great innocent
And that’s why I love you

“Mommy?”

Fingers, delicate fingers, curling around the doorknob and turning. The creak of the door.

So take this moment Mary Jane and be selfish
Worry not about the cars that go by
All that matters Mary Jane is your freedom
So keep warm my dear, keep dry

The jagged shard from the bottle slices neatly across her wrists.

“Mommy?”

“Goodbye Reno…”

“Where are you going Mommy?”

Those sweet eyes look down into hers and she can see the tears… She prays that his tears will never dry up as hers did… but fears they will. He peers into her eyes, not understanding. She can feel sleep coming to claim her. She knows she will never wake up. Knows this is yet another sin that will never be cleansed from her soul.

“I’m sorry Reno… I love you…”

“Mommy, I don’t want you to go.”

She can feel the wetness on her cheeks… watches as another crystalline drop falls from those twin pools of innocence, landing on her face… borrowed tears… shared tears…

Tell me
Tell me
What’s the matter Mary Jane…

Nothing.

-fin-